Monday, September 24, 2007

Mind & Time

It should express out or not, but I want to tell the state of mind was in disturbed itself. I don’t know how to start of how truly I feeling and the thoughts come. Just thinking could this place can fill the hard words of mine, we need a gateway to exist and it was to be your mates shoulder it console more. Loneliness and helpless plays very important now and then, where I couldn’t expect above my parents. I really what to be a person who was trouble free for others, I try to understand the situation and forgive my wishes, craves ect... but I was struck by a question, for how long. It’s easy to tell to leave it and see your business, but for true love these words don’t comfort, it still looks over and over. I ask myself what credential I have to look for others, just having a quality of only human being that too not normal being, what would attract them to make share and also what they gain. My dears telling its bore to be with me, I want to know what are they telling me a bore person or in how I treat those bores. In which way I should satisfy them are they expecting, without knowing what to tell, than maintaining silence to save my courtesy. I always look for the holidays of my cousins where I come to free mind just only spending with them, playing, going out chatting… it hurts to hear them feeling bore to be here.

Mind today thinks so much, and things changes times to time. I am in a situation of couldn't express my thoughts and disagree on what I feel in open mind. As I said above, the credential hesitates me here more, when trying to disclose my thoughts or an advice to any other in open. I was put in suffer more times when attempt tell something, if someone could comes in what you have the quality to comment. Whatever trouble it shoots, the creator never tries to break or throw the hard and energy he spends to create a thing. Like that my parents, they listen to whatever I throw in words if they like it or not, won’t stop or close the doors even though they don’t accept, but I can’t make the words die between us. So I like to express the same through others, but it was not even heard and instead it was tried to hide through there words.

Time really matters more in my life nowadays. How it would be little drops for a monsoon would lack to support water, like that for the little work the time takes more. Particularly the half an hour work takes an hour or more for me to finish compare to a normal person. Just not to say, I experiencing it nowadays the more the hard I face with hands. I know the activities would be reducing to slow in everything that was the reason for the over time, and many complaints follow within the time taking to spent on routine activates and it also affect the blogging time too. I go through the despondent of my impossibility for every small loss and the disturb I have to make. I blow, blow and blow, in dark no one notices. It was torched in light here. If there was none to listen, I would be in mentally disorder, thanks you all for listening to what ever I tell.

## Current song from Tamil film May matham, Minnalea nee vandhadhaenadi... how beautiful the lines are, SPB`s voice touches the feel.

11 comments:

Voracious Blog Reader said...

Hi Jeevan,

I can understand fully what you mean. Everybody faces this sort of situation. Its just not you. So be happy that you are not singled out.

Each and everybody has their shortcomings. It may be anything. If anybody doesn't want to spend their time with you,it means that you and that person have different interests and different school of thoughts. It doesn't mean that they don't like you.

Just keep your head above the water. That would do for the moment.

I could feel the agony in your writing. You are the "life" of somebody and hence you were named "Jeevan". :)

Keep smiling.

The song "minnale..." is a very beautiful and nostalgic song.

Voracious Blog Reader

Balaji S Rajan said...

Jeevan,

Just as VBR has commented if someone is bored to talk with you it does not mean they dislike you.

Read loads of books. They will keep you occupied. These kind of things happens to everyone. So do not worry.

I have faced similar situation. Take it easy Jeevan.

pria said...

If soemone is unable to understand what we discuss, they feel bored. We cannot be blamed for that. May be you shud talk what interests them too in between coz it makes them a learning experience.

Ther are lots of book and do paintings as u like it. Just a computer alone is not life for anyone Jeevan. We all blog, but shud never get addicted.
Take a dictionary and read new words and when u write something you can use it here and also explain others who need your help. Try to get into art of living a meditation centre.

balar said...

Jeevs,
Their interest may be different but doesnt mean that they dont like you..You got lot of friends in blogosphere and every one likes you my dear friend. So dont worrry abt that single person, be happy and be smile..we are here to read your posts and we are here to suppport you always..

if you feel that your mind is not in relax mood try to listen songs which helps you lot during the work time..if u get a chance to read Swami Sukhabodhanandha's( premanandha illaipa) "Oh Mind Relax Please",dont miss it. .most of the times i read his books.it does helps

Illati pesame swami balanandha(naan than pa verai yarum illai) kooda chat pannunga unga free timela mind romba relax agidum..

Don't worry friend. Be relax,be happy and be smile always..

kalai said...

Jeevan,

Dont worry about anything....

Like VBR & Balaji said, u r not the one to face this situation.

See, in home I used to say whatever I like. My parents listen to me. If they dont, I will force them to hear...

But, in Chennai, some of my friends they didnt hear me completely of what iam saying. They need their priority. I had to listen them but after that too they interrupt me in my sayings. I will be saying something serious but they will be talking about the next thing they had to do.

I felt a lot for this. The result is severe headache & loss of concentration in my works. Bcoz of one of my roommate, i feel free now. She explained me clearly about this....

Just dont think it. Be relax. If u r feeling something pain, try to hear songs. Read books. Iam sure that music will definitely change ur mind to swing in a good mood.

No one dislikes u friend. we all are here to hear ur happiness, sorrow,......

So, be happy... keep smiling...

tulipspeaks said...

we r here.. no worries!


ammu.

Jeevan said...

VBR – hum… I agree that interest difference, but I am not expecting them always, just for some time that too only in their holiday times. I am ready to change my interest towards them, wish what they like, but what I feel is I couldn’t go with there velocity. Thanks for ur comfort words :)

Balaji – I am doing that too friend. I fill my times by reading new things; I expect something out of this. Thank you, sometime I enjoy myself and again the mind looks for others. :)

Priya – True, we can’t blame them and also can’t force they should. When I was waiting for someone, how can I leave them. I am occupied by activities on my interest, PC and net one in it. Wonder I am learning new words too and also using it in my post, but it may be familiar for others, but its bizarre me.

Balar – I want to tell you all are the only now. Thanks you so much friend. I agree truly to you idea of listen music, it put mind in rejoice and this autumn breeze through my window is wonder my day. I will try to find his writings… but suddenly I thought balanandha is another swami :)) nenga thaanna antha swami’a, ok kandippa chat panurean.

Kalai – for me the same, they fully not listen what I am saying, they cross and without understanding come to a conclusion that I am telling this, but that was not I thought. Even my parents do it; sometimes they keep silence for my speech that makes me feel they are not listening.
Glad u all listen what ever I tell that too fully and something when u feel wrong about it u oppose. I really need it, with just quite listening everything. Satisfaction for my mind that drops something disturbing, thank a lot for sharing your thoughts kalai :)

Ammu – Thank you dear :)

Keshi said...

I hv to agree with Priya. Thats great advice for u Jeevan!

btw if someone doesnt like u or wanna continue talking to ya, u can always find someone else who's interested in talking to u..right?


Keshi.

Jeevan said...

keshi - Just leaving the blog world, except my mom & dad i dint find anyone willing to talk or share with me. It was on my wish to talk only then, none come in.

I will find interest on whatever i do, that i am already doing. Thanks dear.

krystyna said...

Hi Jeevan!
It is good that you express out your thoughts. You see, it is something so needed to read todays. We all are driving in the same car( I'm not sure if it's the same meaning in English as I want to tell). It is so sad when we have tried to offer our heart and only receive.. .something different.
Share yourself with us..it is helpful for many, stay smiling, you are so special!!!
I am grateful everyday to be honored to have you as my great, honest friend.
Your visitors- friends - you see - they are for you. We choose our friends but don't choose our family.
Your parents are great.Todays many parents couldn't love their kids. They abandon them. I saw this pour, abandoned kids.

krystyna said...

My humble advice is:
- Never take anything personally!
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is projection of their own mood of moment, ...,and many others causes.
-Always Do your Best.
(as you Do)
-Be who you are.
(You are special!!)

Love and hugss!