Sunday, May 03, 2009

Physically mentally

smiling doll from our dashboard
Listening to advice is for better, but when it goes overdose it irritates. Some people could not understand from what I am suffering from truly, even I try to explain they never believe unusual in nature and hang on a branch and says everything is same. Yes, I am same human being with invisible lose of strength and those who come upon treating my disease says I have no problem, just by regular practice and exercise I can recover since I am inactive; and says without knowing how I became inactive.

Without going around I come to matter; I just get mood out often lately because of this person I meet regularly at home. I don’t feet regret writing about him, even if it comes to his notice in future; he is none other than my acupressure therapist. He is attending me since November; and from then on he keep on pressing me to do more exercise to recover soon, but more than him I aware about my condition. Does someone really wish not to walk and avoid doing his daily activities of living? It’s such obvious I wonder why he could not or try to understand. He says he hopes recovery in me soon and too says that’s only in my hand. I want to ask him, then why do you? But I keep silence because he makes balance the absence of Physiotherapist and some worth exercise to maintain activities.

The disease Muscular dystrophy is a case to keep in touch with activities to maintain balance as much possible. It needs exercise to keep away falling illness and lose of muscle strength, and at same time doing more exercise and get stress witness in lose of muscle strength. Some of those experience there life with MD says, they feel downfall more than usual when doing exercise, and even doctors says to do exercise but not more. Anyone can say thoughts and examples to make me courage, but it only strengths my mind and not body. How can I hope I can walk again and be normal like others knowing well about my disease and do they want me to fall into depress and distress thinking about my position alike before? No I don’t want to get into trouble again and lose my peace. I want to stop those teach me about the stress I am giving to others, and they are just looking inside my life, but I am living and I am not insensitive to not understand others. Who switch on the lights to see my eyes dissolved in tears at nights? Who listen to my heart’s solo beats into misery? Who understand my desires that buried within my conscious? None knows quite about me. I am a person smiling before lights, keeping behind the dark shadows that make me sad.

I wonder sometime what makes me stop from being normal and more than science, it’s a mystery the world struggles to disclose a cure. There could be a way unearthed, as someone says, but I can’t fall under anyone’s idea to get weaker and give up my life today for inevitable future. I know until I stand on my feet, life will remain easier tough and for someone’s belief I can’t lose my ability now.


Kavi said...

Hey Jeevan !

I am not going to give you any advice. Nor give you soothing words of comfort.

Just going to state a few truths in black and white. Ones that i have told you before. Many times over:

You truly are an inspiration. I see you as that. The muscles and their strength has been inconsequential to the strength of your will and spirit. And that is what counts.

I can feel your pain when you talk of those burried desires. And my friend, we all get cards handed down to us. And we play them. Some play a poor set of cards extraordinarily well. And you are one of them !

There are people who will come and go. Your spirit keeps me moored and inspired. And i am sure there are many others.

Keep smiling.

yamini meduri said...

Hi Jeevan

i have been to your blog two months back i guess....i used to read the posts of your trips and life and just comment on them. i thought you were the happy soul on Earth...!!!

Not until i saw your post on meeting Karthik's Mom(if i am not wrong) did i know about your position. then i read your profile...then i realised, you are not the happy are the happiest man...!!!

as you told in my blog juss few hrs ago, you are the shining star showing light to those dying in darknes...dear you are true..!!!

I always had a great desire to be a doctor and work for people like you because i lost my best friend when i was in 9th class but my parents wanted me to be an engineer...and so i am one today..!!

Jeevan, one day you will stand for sure. it is not because of the excercies or the is becase of the desire deep in ur dear, dont ever be sad hurts to see u talk in pain...!!

i hope u dont mind with the long comment...!!!

With love
yamini meduri...!!!

Jeeves said...

Dear Jeevan

You are a very very strong person. There are so many things I have learnt from you. Just keep up your positive attitude.

Take care.

Devika said...

Yes Jeevan, life has its trials with each and every life...and as far as you can find ways to work it through, you should consider yourself lucky!

there are even more, much much more difficult lives around us,

Be good, do good

best wishes, always

Rakesh Vanamali said...

Stay urself and be determined, no matter what people say! You will find strength from within!

tulipspeaks said...

i truly admire your willpower, bro.
lots of hugs!


Keshi said...

Jeevan let me tell u something that I learnt from my own life. I may be able and 'normal' (physically) but if I didnt hv that strong spirit or the willpower in me, I'd be NOTHING. I hv learnt that thru experience, hence I can honestly say that we r nothing if not for our strength within us.

U r one such example...a beautiful, strong and able spirit!

I hv come across pretty faces, muscly men etc but who lacked personality, spirit and aura. To me, such ppl r empty vessels.

But u hv a rich character..a gentle and loving person...a strong willpower...a deep soul.

*HUGZ* thats why I luv ya and still keep coming to this space!


Keshi said...

And not to forget, ur a GENUINE FRIEND too Jeevan!


Jeevan said...

Kavi – Thanks so much bro, well I am courage about my life, but those who can’t understand the progress of my disease blabbers something, hurts sometimes as if they are someone knows everything and we failed to follow them. Everyone would get irritate when listening to same stories often which unrelated to matter in name of advice, but I am not against listening to advice which comes easily. Thanks so much for your true statements and please to have u around. :)

Yamini – Thanks dear, and I am so glad meeting u here. Really every time I come across your blog, I get a beautiful feel about friendship and love, because these both make someone proceed further energetic.

I don’t write frequently about my health except only when it bothers me much, and only those following my blog know me well, and I don’t feel about it because I want them to listen to my heart says and I love writing my experience… I just don’t want to make u feel sad, but I have to express my sorrow, the way I get it here. I don’t mind and am glad u shared my feeling dear. Thanks so much.

Jeeves – Thanks so much dear, and only you people give me the courage to stay positive.

Devika – you’re certainly true dear, but I don’t believe in luck and everything just happens that all. I have learned so much from my position and to live life at simplest and nature.

Rakesh – Thanks bro, I have turned more in my life, back from the days I bother everything consider me down.

Ammu – Thank you dear.

Keshi – very true keshi, I used to say to my parents often that if not my blog and friends, I am noting more. Because I find the spirit from here only and even meeting while a blog friend recently we felt the same, because all your supports is our courage, and we learn here how worth is being true.

Hugs and love u too.

Indrani said...

I fully understand your frustration with your doctor. You are a brave person and I draw inspiration from you.

Priya said...

Your mind is stronger and thaz what makes u unique no matter what. Nothing is perfect in this world and even with simple things happiness comes around. Your blog helps a lot of ppl' around the world to grow better.