Saturday, October 18, 2014

An unforgettable phase, I wish to forget

A year completes since I got fracture in my femur, I couldn’t forget the day (17/10/2013) though I wish not to remember the day that was horror. It was also a day that I fell and still unable to stand. I ever thought I would get fracture as I’m out of even normal activity, it taught me a lesson that anything could happen to anybody and I almost come to the term to accept what comes my way. But the only thing that put me into fear was the uncertain nature of a disease or disorder. I had been bedridden for nearly 2 months and the only difficult I experienced physically was way to toilet. Even though I used commode wheelchair, transferring between the bed and chair was painful until the fracture began to mend somewhat.  I went to extreme boredom during that phase as I did anything apart watching television and listen to music, mind was quite contrary thinking whether I will recover or not. Even I got immense time for book reading, but I couldn’t concentrate on anything and most of all wasn’t comfort to do things at lying position.

Prone to muscular dystrophy I had reason to worry, since it is a case of losing muscle strength there seems less chances of recovery. Even the doctor who treated me had doubt whether the bone will mend? But glad there was positive result within 10 days on cast and at the end of 46 days the bone had healed well. But the real torture or pain began only after out of cast, when I tried to bend the knee that went stiff being on cast. It took more than 3 months to reach certain degree and to feel less pain, I am still unable to bend the knee 100%. I don’t believe it will bend anymore but I am content with how well it has come now.  The fracture doesn’t stop here but it also dragged me further into my future where I lose the ability to stand someday. It wouldn’t be a matter of lose or bothered me much if it happened on the usual slow pace, but it’s hard to accept when the ability fall prey in short span.

I could see a great difference with my life before and post fracture, because my dependency has rose from single-handedly to double, now, and during my days on cast and until I feel painless on knee I was supported by three people on transfer to change of clothes. I know my future isn’t going to be same rather it would turn more difficult, but I never thought about it seriously and my intention seems to concentrate only on near future and present moment.  I have a vision which is to reach as much possible expanding my world and experience live moments with different environment and sharing with people. The fracture has also caused a greater setback on my travelling front and due to lose of standing ability getting in and out of car has become difficult. I am passionate about travelling and exploring places are one of my core intentions of life, and (also like to go off-roading (mild)) makes me believe that real experience comes out of comfort. Hope all is well and I am back with my comfort travelling soon. 

10 comments:

TexWisGirl said...

i know that this injury was terrible for you - as you healed and going forward. bless you, jeevan.

Jen said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your pain. Will physical therapy not help? I hope you can get back to enjoying your mobility while you have it. So many things we take for granted until we don't have them any more...

Chandra said...

Hi Jeevan,
I won't pretend I understand what you are going through. But, even if I don't have a clue, I can still send you lots of positive vibes and I send you the same.

Peace :)

Twilight Man said...

I am sorry to hear of the painful experience and worries of the future on your part. Your family's support and prayers will help you through.

Destination Infinity said...

Things may also get better in the future. It's always good to hope for the good. All of us can foresee only the immediate future, and many things are beyond our control - better to accept and hope for the best :)

Destination Infinity

Uppal said...

I know this phase is a constant trial for you.Pray for your early recovery.

Wishing you the joys of Diwali!

Optimistic Existentialist said...

I am sorry to hear that this injury still results in complications Jeevan. I hope it makes a full recovery soon and that you can get back to traveling!!

Rajesh said...

I know nobody other than you and your family can understand your pain. I can only prey for your well being.

EG CameraGirl said...

I'm sorry you've had to endure this painful experience. Hope all continues to get easier for you!

ladyfi said...

So sorry to hear about your pain. I'm wishing you a healthy future!