Physically mentally

smiling doll from our dashboard

Listening to advice is for better, but when it goes overdose it irritates. Some people could not understand from what I am suffering from truly, even I try to explain they never believe unusual in nature and hang on a branch and says everything is same. Yes, I am same human being with invisible lose of strength and those who come upon treating my disease says I have no problem, just by regular practice and exercise I can recover since I am inactive; and says without knowing how I became inactive.

Without going around I come to matter; I just get mood out often lately because of this person I meet regularly at home. I don’t feet regret writing about him, even if it comes to his notice in future; he is none other than my acupressure therapist. He is attending me since November; and from then on he keep on pressing me to do more exercise to recover soon, but more than him I aware about my condition. Does someone really wish not to walk and avoid doing his daily activities of living? It’s such obvious I wonder why he could not or try to understand. He says he hopes recovery in me soon and too says that’s only in my hand. I want to ask him, then why do you? But I keep silence because he makes balance the absence of Physiotherapist and some worth exercise to maintain activities.

The disease Muscular dystrophy is a case to keep in touch with activities to maintain balance as much possible. It needs exercise to keep away falling illness and lose of muscle strength, and at same time doing more exercise and get stress witness in lose of muscle strength. Some of those experience there life with MD says, they feel downfall more than usual when doing exercise, and even doctors says to do exercise but not more. Anyone can say thoughts and examples to make me courage, but it only strengths my mind and not body. How can I hope I can walk again and be normal like others knowing well about my disease and do they want me to fall into depress and distress thinking about my position alike before? No I don’t want to get into trouble again and lose my peace. I want to stop those teach me about the stress I am giving to others, and they are just looking inside my life, but I am living and I am not insensitive to not understand others. Who switch on the lights to see my eyes dissolved in tears at nights? Who listen to my heart’s solo beats into misery? Who understand my desires that buried within my conscious? None knows quite about me. I am a person smiling before lights, keeping behind the dark shadows that make me sad.

I wonder sometime what makes me stop from being normal and more than science, it’s a mystery the world struggles to disclose a cure. There could be a way unearthed, as someone says, but I can’t fall under anyone’s idea to get weaker and give up my life today for inevitable future. I know until I stand on my feet, life will remain easier tough and for someone’s belief I can’t lose my ability now.