Fighting with Anxiety

Anxiety and panic attacks have been bothering me for a while now, and I'm finding it difficult to ignore the unwanted thoughts and concentrate on my regular work. I couldn't pinpoint the source of my anxiety because it was a thought or distraction related to my overall existence. I remember how clear my mind was a few weeks ago and how being alone and doing nothing didn't bother me, unlike now, when I wanted to be around someone or watch something active, like street activities or television, to distract myself from distracting thoughts. 

I almost believe it was because I slept less or frequently awoke at night. Until a few days ago, I felt sheepish as I approached midday, and a cup of coffee or tea would perk me up. Yes, I believe it's the reason—my sleepiness was disturbed—that drew me to drowsiness during the day, which may have paved the way for abnormal thoughts, distraction, and anxiety. 

I realized how I was losing sleep, and it was my attendant, who showed up early in the morning to assist my parents in putting me in the bath that was disrupting my sleep. My attendant works in an ortho clinic and has to be there by 9 a.m., so he has to put me to bathe before that, and my usual time of waking up is never less than 8 a.m., and mostly I get deep sleep nearly close to waking up; I have to force myself awake so that he is on time for his primary job. In this condition, I made a night trip while returning from Kodaikanal on February 1. It was a nightmare that took me a few days to become stable. Perhaps this was the source of my confusion.

I checked with the doctor, and he prescribed me a tablet to take at night for sleeping and relaxation (explored on google to know its purpose) for 30 days, but I haven't taken it yet because I'm feeling better now, but I decided to take it if I feel need it. I'm confident I will come out of this dilemma with much-needed sleep (to get clear without taking medicine) and concentrate on my regular activities. Let's see 

Mandous and Karthigai Deepam

Cyclone Mandous, which has been making headlines for nearly a week, made landfall very close to Chennai last night, with winds reaching up to 72 km hr, but caused only minor damage to a few trees in the vicinity. The rain was also moderate rather than intense. It had been raining on and off in the neighborhood all night, and with all doors and windows closed, the wind noise didn't disturb our sleep, even though it was possibly the coldest night of the year.

My hands and legs felt cold, but it wasn't hard enough to cover up or wear an additional layer over us, and we also turned the fan to low speed. Apart from that, the cyclone had little effect on us, and only my father couldn't go for a walk. The cyclone activity picked up only on Thursday, which was favorable because I had an appointment with my cardiologist on Wednesday that had been postponed for various reasons for the previous three weeks. 

My heart condition had been consistently stable for the last three years. My echo test sounds adequate, and the doctor was pleased with the results. He asked me to return for a checkup after a year rather than the usual six months. I inquired about the throbbing on the left side of my body and difficulty breathing, which he suspected to be anxiety, and told me not to worry. 

On November 6th, we celebrated Karthigai Deepam at home. We can also call it the "festival of lights" of south India or Tamil Nadu, as we ignite Diyas or clay lamps on the evening of Karthigai Deepam, likewise for Diwali. Diyas are typically lit on both sides of the doorway, on balconies, on window sills, and on steps to make them look lovely. Here are some photos of the Diyas we had at home. 

What a week!

I haven't blogged in exactly a week. Even though it hasn't been a long time, the last week has been hell for me, and even though I'm feeling a little better now, I'll need to stay on meds for a few more days to treat my UTI. 

It starts with a mild cold and progresses to a nightmare on the 21st night. The next day, it gradually turned into a slight fever, followed by urinary irritation and frequent urination. It was unmistakably a sign of a UTI (urinary tract infection). I had already taken an antibiotic for a cold, thinking it would help, but as it worsened, my father went to the doctor and was prescribed medication. 

Perhaps I should have caught a cold from my 8-month-old nephew, Kavin, who was sneezing around, and the UTI has boarded along. In 2020, during the COVID period, I experienced a similar effect that lasted more than a week and required five injections to get rid of the infection. 

Our doctor wasn't in the city this time, but dad called him and got me medicine on his advice and took a urine culture test to determine the infection. The lab test took three days to complete, and the doctor arrived on the same day to prescribe different medications and three injections. I finished one today and have two more on hold. The injection location on my waist has gotten uncomfortable, and the other two have made me nervous. 

The previous week has been indescribable. When my urine became purple in a few instances, I knew it was a severe infection, and I knew it wasn't an easy pass like the urine itself. I'm hoping to feel better soon, and I couldn't concentrate on anything because my thoughts were preoccupied with the difficulties of pissing. My frequent urination has also produced challenges for my parents, who are my primary source of assistance in my daily life. For both, life becomes stressful. I hope things return to normalcy soon. 

I will check the blogs sooner.

The Agony

All of the fingers are pointing at me  

I'm well aware of this, and 

I'm doing my best to avoid accusations, 

However, fate has chosen me as prey. 

I'm at a loss for words to describe this

How deep are the emotional wounds?

Behind my blooming smile,

The agony draws up to the roots.

It's nothing new to me.

Even though I pretend to be numb,

It still hurts, as it does most of the time, 

and stymies my lighthearted demeanor.

It may well even be an illusion.

But my emotions are real,  

And due to my inability, 

It surges and subsides immediately.

Smartphones and Contemporary Kids

Smartphone, the word has become a heartthrob of man, particularly the younger generation, and each whining of the smartphone is a stimulator on the veins. The smartphone has created a global revolution in telecommunications in the short time since the introduction of cellular phones in the early 90s. Smartphones have become inseparable and mandatory power of the human race in their daily life. 

Like everything that has a plus and minus, negative and positive, good and bad, smartphones do their part of the sum. Every instrument, device, and gadget made possibly good purposes, and it is up to us to use it in the same way. And I think it lies in understanding the invention of the device and its use. 

Smartphones are for adults, and I still believe even after the pandemic situation had become favor against my thought of kids using smartphones, for online classes, except the occasions of emergence, kids don't have any business with smartphones. A consoling thing (this time) was kids using smartphones in the right way for education rather than gaming. Though kids and games are inseparable, let whatever the purpose for you to hand over the smartphones to kids, their gaming intend is indispensable. 

image courtesy

Leaving that apart, let us move into the intention of the post that handing over the smartphones to little ones and infants. Let's say it has become a trend or newfound custom by the young mothers to feed their children by playing something on the smartphone for the little ones to watch to take a mouthful. Perhaps, smartphones are handy, and the young mothers who always hold to them entertain the child by showing something amusing on the screen to feed the stubborn instead of heading out or relying on something real for amusement.

And what this shows is their laziness or lack of time (if she's a working mother) to use smartphones this way to quickly and easily feed a baby. (The young mothers in the blog world should forgive me if I'm wrong in my perception.) The young parents see if the kids trouble them, and if so, they give away their smartphones to the kids to sit quietly in a corner to allow them to do their chores. And this is where the trouble begins. 

One of my uncle's daughters, less than the age of 3, was in trouble when she allowed watching the smartphone continuously. My uncle had another baby when the elder daughter was a year and a half, and to look after the 2nd baby, they gave the smartphone to the elder and made sit quiet. Since the child keeps looking at the smartphone is not able to focus on anything other than staring and smiling only at the smartphone screen. She is still under therapy and is recovering at a good pace. 

I think the young mothers feel trendy to say that they feed their child by showing smartphones. I saw a mother trying to feed her child by playing a youtube video on the phone, but the child wasn't interested, and she was forcing him against his will to play, but not on the phone. On the same line, my cousin also tried this way on my newborn nephew Jeshwanth, and we have warned her not to follow this route, and I hope she listens to us. 

(My little nephew is now flipping and started to lay on his stomach. The boy began to take solid food like our traditional idly and biscuits in creamy form. His activities and naughtiness have increased, which needs a separate post to show off his actions.)

I fear smartphones would steal the children's childhood because friends and games (not online gaming or gambling) are a vital part of the period that lasts as evergreen memories of our lifetime. If they miss this chance, there isn't a chance to get back things, and the virtual world will end in a flash of great disappointment. 

The children's world is big, their imagination is boundless, and it is unreasonable to shrink it with a small device called the smartphone. We should make understand kids that smartphone isn't the world, but a part of it. I agree smartphones are essential in today's online education and communication, and it is better if they stood with that for the kids.

Thank you 

Covid Continuation and Personal Touch!

Covid hasn't changed its face in India and continues to storm ever stronger. Our state Tamil Nadu is increasing with cases at a range of 1000 per day. Since the assembly election results on Sunday, the yet to form new government has tightened the restrictions to an almost state of lockdown, leaving open the essential shops and limited public transportation. Whatever the government, without people's cooperation, nothing going to work out, but I could see a positive response, or accepting tendency from people, perhaps they continue to see the fierceness of covid 19 on every platform they roam and from their own circle of people. 

Last week one of our family friends died of corona. He's a barber, as well as an artist, who plays the traditional musical instrument Nadaswaram. He has played at all our family festivals, and everyone in our family circle knows him, and he's the only one who had cut my hair from childhood and trim beards once I started to grow. Since the early 90s, he owns a barbershop under the house of our grandpa's, and he succeeds the shop from his father as he becomes old and passed away later. So, until I was able to walk, I cut hair from his shop whenever I visit grandpa's house, and we never paid him, and he used to debit the amount from the rent.

It really saddens all of us, and we couldn't believe he's no more, and before the news become certain, I truly wished it shouldn't be him. I know he's somewhat indifferent wearing the mask, so I stopped calling him lately since the beginning of 2nd wave of covid, and I think now that I made the right decision. We couldn't share our condolences with their family or attend the funeral due to the covid. I wish he rested in peace.

One of my uncles and my mom’s cousin is admitted to hospital for nearly 10 days due to the covid infection, and he has been kept on oxygen. But his condition is far better from the day of admitted, and once his oxygen level becomes stable, he would perhaps be discharged. I have seen the indifference in wearing masks at both the persons I have mentioned above, and their conditions have certain created an impact on others, the importance, and need of wearing the mask.                

I think the people's anticipated price to realize the significance of covid seems so high. The consciousness is something I guess hasn't been obtained well by anyone, including some well-educated to realize what happens around them; forgetfulness is something natural, but how come one forget easily the terrific scenario taking place all over the world. Over a year, shouldn't we have learned to live with the mask? 

The health workers', doctors' lives are oscillating over life or death in preventing and curing the infection, but our roles weren't much greater, and their anticipation wasn't that much. Simple, wear a mask and stand or talk at a distance from each other is enough to improve the situation and quickly get us back to a normal lifestyle. Everyone is stuck in some cage, and liberation is a must to cheer up the body and mind that has been exhausted overseeing the destruction of lives and livelihoods due to covid 19. It's every Indian's responsibility to save our country, to act according to it.  Let's work together.

A year into pandemic lockdown!

A year completes today, what begins as an identity curfew on the Sunday of March 22, 2020. PM plea with the public of India to cooperate with a 14-hour curfew, and it was a time the covid-19 cases weren't 100, and we didn't realize that it was a trailer and the main picture is waiting for the release. And then came the announcement of a week lockdown, which renewed every two weeks that extended to two to three months, and the lockdown was then extended every month with some relaxation.

Lockdown is a word we aren't familiar with then but heard only through the news and films where lockdown is implemented during emergencies or violent outbreaks in an area. And 144 belong to the same category, which bans people gathering in public more than four at a time. We never thought we would experience such and had no idea how it would work; however, the solidarity we had been had no meaning today, with people's indifferent behavior and gathering at large.

At the end of the year 2020, life was almost back to normal except for wearing masks and social distancing. The covid-19 cases too drastically came down below 10,000 a day in India; our state Tamil Nadu also witnessed numbers below 500 a day had let us ease and at the same time sent an indifference tendency among the people had forgotten that we hadn't exit pandemic. I could say or see half the population had dismissed wearing masks and social distancing is like belonging to a distant land.

I believed this number would recede as we continued to stay on the line with a gradual decline, and since the beginning of vaccination in January, the belief started to grow stronger. I think this could have become possible if the state elections haven't interfered during this period, because it is time for politicians to mobilize the masses, or as people gather to listen to the campaign, it becomes a camp for the spread of the virus. 

The painful thing here is that the leaders who are supposed to be role models do not follow the rules and do not instruct the volunteers to follow. And when seeing the crowd gathering in the campaign sites without masks and social distancing proves how ignorant and crazy we are and how we fail at the root cause.

I know the elections aren't the only issue as I see students and teachers getting covid-19, since the opening of schools for higher secondary (classes 10th to 12th); it looks certain it's the failure to follow the safeguard. Already there's a conflict among the public about how these numbers suddenly go high or sustain at the same and do they really count or do it for their comfort or need. Anyhow its sudden rise from the beginning of March worries; though we all hope on the vaccine as the only weapon against covid 19, nothing could protect us unless we follow the precaution - the simple handwash, masking, and social distancing.

Compared to March 2020, we’re 10 to 20 times further affected by covid 19 now. The counting of cases in India is close to 50,000, which is the highest daily record, after months of a gap!

Random Rant

I know

And I obviously know

Nothing stops for anything

And anticipation is sick.

Up and down is nature

Like high-low tides in the sea.

Never estimate anybody

Because, they unseen what you saw.

To pretend to be intelligent

It’s unfair to tap down somebody.  

Nobody knows everything

And sky’s the limit

Beneath it, everyone’s the same.

Just a rant... on the violation of people's relaxed curfew.

When will our people become self-responsible people? Do people, especially the younger generation, really understand the pandemic situation that dominates the entire world? As for our state of Tamil Nadu the social distancing and wearing of masks is followed only by certain people or to say half the population denies the rules and some follows in improper manner that may cause infection. Last week the government relaxed almost all restrictions imposed due to the pandemic; and allowed opening of resorts and lodges but it’s unclear whether the tourist places are open to the public. E-pass had been made mandatory for anyone visiting popular tourist destinations and hill stations particularly but yesterday being Sunday (the first Sunday after two months of total lockdown Sundays) the hill town, Kodaikanal, was besieged by a number of bikes and cars!     

A week has not passed since the relaxed measures were announced, and by then people had already returned to normalcy in full swing or rapid force, forgotten on which condition these relaxations were given. I understand that everyone is in need of a break and nothing could bring a change better than traveling, as people are locked down at homes for more than 5 months, an urge to getaway couldn’t be wrong but we aren’t’ even partially coming out of the pandemic rather leading 2nd in the world with new achievement in Covid 19 cases with each passing day, how can we expect a positivity in a neglected world? Our production of cases has reached nearly 0.1 million per day and it’s really disturbing to hear about 1000 deaths counted daily in India. We talk about how precious each life is and at the same time casually pass a death on the street – just thought of saying something – but the death of 1000 everyday doesn’t seem to make any sense or thoughtfulness to rattle us.  I know we have to move on and couldn’t stay on a thought just like stagnant water that could only mess up later but don’t we have the responsibility to do a bit in changing the scenario?  Or at least stop helping spread the virus by coming out unnecessarily, because it isn’t the time for fun or unless we follow the rules strictly we put others' life into danger along with us. 

Positive or Negative, Covid 19 Test Perplex

In the last 4 months of Covid 19 pandemic period, guys we had just came close to it and put hold above us. Yes, one of our tenants staying upstairs had positive result yesterday and he was picked up by the health care workers for further testing at King’s institute (a WHO authorised centre in Chennai) found no sign of positivity but he was advised to quarantine for next 15 days. Someone working at the hotel, where he works, was tested positive so his management asked him to take a Covid test at the nearest health care centre and he got tested 3 days ago from the result and the health care workers had stick a notice at the entrance of our house notifying the presence of a Covid 19 positive patient at this house.

The notice contains his name, age, address and the number of days he needs to be quarantined. Actually there’s very less chance for him to be infected as his work from home for the most except vising the hotel once or twice a month for billing. He works as a financial manager in a reputed 5-star hotel in the city and he hails from West Bengal and staying along with his wife and a 3 year old daughter. Above all he isn’t a kind of indifferent guy neglecting the preventive measures and he even wear gloves when going out for grocery and wash all the vegetables before bringing into home. So his initial positive report really made us wonder and scary as well and we breathe easy only after learning his negative signs and he’s sent back to home to stay alone in a room for 15 days.

The health care workers sprayed disinfectant outside our home and is checking him daily for any symptoms or needs. It makes think his positive report should be a mistake or he naturally cured between the time he took test and report delivered. I think taking 3 days for the result is really a long time, and anything is possible during this time. This is a second case I learn where the Covid positive becomes nothing when tested again at Kings Institute and I really don’t understand what makes the difference between the tests taken by the health care works at the health centres and the institute.

Actually I want to write something but end up writing this and what I really couldn’t connect is why many feels bad about Covid positive notice stick to their walls. No one really like or intend to be a Covid positive and it’s an infection that anyone would carry without their knowledge so why one should worry what others would think of it. Unless someone affected in their family people doesn't realizes the situation and troubles one faces as Covid positive. In reality we are leaning our support to his family and have requested his wife to contact us for any help or want to buy anything as she having a little child it’s difficult to make out. He used to play with his daughter till midnight (as she sleeps mostly in day times) and she’s so attached to him should be emotionally difficult for both either locked behind the door. I hope he shows no positive signs, what is good for all.

Healing Earth and Me

Pandemic is what all about and all roads lead to same for more than last three months and we still have any idea where and when it all going to end though we know for sure it will and should be end at an end. Everyone should have gone through different experiences during this period of pandemic and lockdown and this goes like a real life drama without any rehearsals and it has affected us in no way one could imagined. But one great comforting thing the pandemic made was refining nature and environment.  Today being Sunday and final day of total lockdown the carbon monoxide level in the air in Chennai has went  down to the level of 8 what usually used to be 60+, which marks moderate air quality, makes apparent how significant the changes are. But this doesn’t going to sustain for sure when the relaxed lockdown come into force from tomorrow, however getting life back to normal is quite important while keeping the environment clean.

The lockdown really made feel secured a lot during these pandemic days as we’re uncertain who carries the virus, staying home we feel safe.   I didn’t find the lockdown a greatly difficult as my life is almost made into home  but as a travel enthuse its quite different and I live all these days with my travel memories and watching travel/food vlogs on YouTube. Nature and environment is clean making me so happy and I’m enjoying more bird sounds these days than vrooming bikes and cars. I think if not pandemic the earth wouldn’t get a chance to cleans the manmade dirt though it isn’t a happier way to support or got this done from peoples suffering and deaths. Nature is rich and it has the power to recycle and we’re same as any other living on the earth. Animals traces their roots and corridors while we shut our roads and leave no foot prints inside their landscapes, it still make  worry to hear even the predators (us) are lockdown in home, more than a dozen elephants died (including the one shot by farmers) for unreasoning in Tamil Nadu in last few weeks.

I could say the last few weeks were the worst days for me during this lockdown period and I think you people know and if not, I went through a long-time fever ever in my life and I quite terrified as you know we go through pandemic I’m uncertain and anxious what these symptoms lead to. Glad it was only a urinary tract infection and the injections worked really well and I’m out of it. But before it got over I had a severe sprain at my ankle and I am still going through the pain and swelling and if it continues few more days, I had to take an x-ray to see what really happened. My physiotherapist said nothing to worry but I go through doubts. I hope you guys continue on the safe path and stay safe at home. Wish the pandemic is over or reduced sooner to become not a life thereat. 

Pandemic Panic

Chennai, the capital of Tamil Nadu has become the second hotspot city of Covid 19 in India, reaching a new peak of cases with every passing day that counts above 1.5k. Our city is divided into 15 zones and my zone Adyar is at 7th place right now with about 1500 covid cases, the situation doesn’t seem to turn better sooner unless any severe actions are taken to control the pandemic despite people’s cooperation. The lockdown is relaxed almost 2/3^rd here and perhaps this could be the causes for the faster spreading of virus and we have any idea where this led so rather creating a panic even though we’re conscious with our preventive actions. We know it is not easy to put stop it’s spreading and holding people at home with no work and income at same, but still something need to be done before yet many losses of lives.

While the experts believe in herd immunity or community immunity or group protection, which happens when a large percentage of a population has become immune to an infection, whether through vaccination or previous infections, thereby providing a measure of protection for individuals who are not immune. But it seems to take a while and before it covers a large population many lives are put at risk as the spreading become uncontrollable. So far we’re doing fine and it’s been 3 months I stepped out of home and it’s the days more than the ones I took for my femur fracture and traveling seems to be a distant dream for me, right now. The season for holiday or summer vacation is over here as the May ends, the time I dream a lot about traveling since many a tours took place during this time and this pandemic break the 7 years chain of visits to my favourite travel destination, Kodaikanal.

And this was the time the tourist hub (and all hill stations) waits for the remaining year to make a peak business but this pandemic and the following lockdown has quite blocked everything related to tourism and the revenue of the people. Though it was a great let down, the residents of Kodaikanal welcome this change or lockdown as it not only keep it pandemic free but also put the princess of hills at peace and pollution free, as it huff and puff usually during this time with lining up of tourist.  As you all know my uncle have a woodhouse and cottage near Kodaikanal and his situation is no different from the mentioned above and he too lose his business that only picks up during this time as his woodhouse is located away from the active tourism. Lately we too avoided visiting his place during the peak season time to not become a cumbersome. So we either visit earlier or later at the end of season, because the place his woodhouse is located is best at all seasons.

Uncle's woodhouse and cottages in night mood. Tried a blur effect on the image

My uncle and aunt had gone there right now to check how things are after getting an e-pass. My uncle used to visit Kodaikanal at least one or two times a month but past three months he haven’t moved out of home because of lockdown and now they got a e-pass with a condition to turn in in 48 hours. But things haven’t worked like they planned and someone locally had informed about their arrival to the health department and they have quarantined them for a week at the woodhouse and a covid test is taken. If positive they would be quarantined for 20 days but they hope for negative. While calling from there, they told us about the strange behaviour of the neighbours who avoids and stopped speaking with them because they come from Chennai – the hub of covid 19. I wasn’t surprised to hear this rather felt happy at the consciousness of the people of the Kodai hills and perhaps this makes Kodaikanal an infection-free state.

Outbreak

Time for myself is missed 

Solitude is not mine when quarantine
Became the chanting of the world;
Peace stands at a distance
When inner tries to console the conflict
outbreak during the lockdown.

Infinite is what I define
The conflicts that surrounds me
Which only rise or lower like a tide;
Sometime ends emotionally tire
Or erupt like a volcano to become a threat 
To no one but myself in this sphere.

Silence is mysterious,
In relationship it’s a hardship
To sail when sea becomes rough;
That’s a moment to realize
The wealth of words, even they’re harsh
Lease words will ease access.

Life changing Covid 19 - 30 days into lockdown

I think the real challenges wait for us only when the lockdown is relaxed, because, so far, almost, I personally feel secure during this lockdown period even though I wasn't content with the indifference in people I connected. People talk about the difficulties of daily labourers, who survive on daily wages, forgetting their own lack of contribution in social distancing and wearing masks which is what going to improve the situation and help the poorer, quicker to get back to their livelihoods.  I don’t think we all could get back to our previous life exactly, because the Covid 19 had almost turned down or blocked the way life progressed as we exposed to rise in transmission of virus, we’re forced to stay home to stay safe and take precaution measures to prevent spreading of virus.

Social distancing comes natural to these ladies... walking back to their houses carrying firewood on their heads, after picking it up in forest near Kukkal in Kodaikanal. Image shot last year during a holiday in mountains.

We have almost used to this custom of lockdown in last 30 days of implement, throughout India, though some continue to act like breaking down the lockdown, three-quarter of people supports the system to hunt down the virus completely. Though we all know this virus is not easily destructive and it could continue to popup anytime into the future unless a vaccine is found, social distancing and masking would become a trend and necessity in our daily life. We, now, have enough time to think about the future and how to adapt to a new lifestyle we supposed to take over once the lockdown is relaxed and the preventive measures to take despite whatever the work we do further.

Lockdown or Curfew is very new to most of us but we have heard this word in news and movies and Jammu & Kashmir, the northern state of India, frequently go through this in order to control terrorism and protests and some districts in south Tamil Nadu had faced the curfew due to certain issues. Now, the entire country, and most of the countries in world imposed lockdown clearly to bring down the number of covid 19 cases and to break the chain of spreading virus and this is the only way WHO prescribed to the world, following the success of China. The earth and the air is pollution free now, but we’re forced to wear mask! See how miserable man on earth, he could not enjoy two things at a same and need to sacrifice something to get another.

RGB Monday

Half baked in light and shadow. 

All days are same these days or to say every day seems like Sundays after the implement of lockdown. Just felt it was Monday today and decided to cheer up with a colourful image while there is sadness, fear and uncertainty rules the globe right away. Here I share my aunt’s colorful Kolam drawn for the Tamil New Year (April 14) in front of our house and it was a day passed like any other day. The lockdown is extended up to May 3 here and the covid cases are only at rise but it was bit better in our state Tamil Nadu where there is good numbers of recovery and less death ratio. I see some people continue to blame the govt. for lockdown as if they purposely doing it to punish them… I wonder where they lose their senses in perceiving the fact or failed to understand the progress of Covid 19 when everything they connected speaks the same. This attitude is really bad and perhaps this makes them act indifferently and disobediently to put others life at risk. Hope all stay home and stay safe.

10 Days Into Lockdown

Being a homebound, the Lockdown doesn’t make great difference in my life except that I didn’t went out for evening walks for last few weeks and I do things at leisure than before.  Usually dad used to go out for shopping vegetables (at marker) and groceries (at departmental stores) and he don’t do it daily so there isn’t a great difference here as well. And we have a retail grocery shop next to our house, where vegetables are also sold in the morning so we buy the most from this shop and only dad goes for a brief walk at the empty streets in evening as he found his blood sugar level had risen to result in mild difficulty in breathing as he stopped going walking after the execution of lockdown. He used to go for a walk on terrace but the little space wasn’t effective and being a stent patient he need to keep down the glucose level to avoid complications.

My brother’s fitness centre (gym) was closed from March 16^th and he too was at home since then and hasn’t gone out rather couple of time. So we were almost home staying and it wasn’t difficult anyway except for mom who has to do the household chores herself as the house maid is unable to visit due of lack of public transportation, my aunt aid her somewhat.  I really feel sorry for many a people who still unaware about the basic precautions of corona and are highly vulnerable to caught with infection. I see more people moving into the streets with no reasons and it looks the curfew actually come into force only after 2.30pm when all shops are closed really. Govt. is taking much needed action, even though we anticipate more, and more testing, the people’s response is disappointing and minutes ago too I see three boys taking pillion ride on bike. What kind of consciousness we create has become a question. Television media, newspapers, social networks are all busy spreading the need and not things of covid 19, but still this kind of indifference, ignorance and forgetfulness are all painful and scary to see and feel.

Official report says there isn’t a community spreading of corona in India, but I think we aren’t far away from a situation that could worsen us. The causes of covid 19 continue to rise in India and we have crossed 3k people confirmed with Coronavirus of 229 recovered and 86 confirmed death. Our state is in 2^nd place with number of corona sufferers. Though we continue to quote stay home, I see the social distancing is something people fails to follow or give a thought in practice. I wonder do people wash their kerchiefs daily, the piece of cloth what many tie on their faces in India, instead of surgical mask, to prevent virus. And how careful people are when washing their hands? We are staying in home but seeing people in groups or crowding our street (there’s a chicken shop two houses away from us is crowdie in morning hours) looks bit scary and likely infectious.

That’s all for now! Stay home, stay safe and hope the situation turns better for all-over the world.  Let’s wish for peace and quick recovery of people from covid 19.

Nature Heal Its Own

View outside the home... something sure to unchanged for sometime
or at least till April 14.

Nature volume increased 

As artificial noises decreased
The days become quiet
As well the afternoons are blissful,
Eventides turned pleasure
As birds sings in chorus
The days turned out beautiful
As well as sunny, expose
Nature at its fine light and shadows.
The nature would heal its own
If not man continue to dig its wound
Nature forced us in from of Covid 19
To take a backseat at home
To see how nature tackle its own
What world stumbles to reset!

Take care all 

Conquer Corona

Prime Minister Modi has called for a 14 hour curfew, all over India on March 22nd to bring down the spreading of deadly coronavirus - COVID-19!  He insists for self-restraint rather than using forces to restraint. For those wonder why this 14 hours curfew and what changes would this bring in? Researches around the world have estimated that the life expectancy of the virus is 12 hours. Our curfew will be held on Sunday from 7am to 9pm, i.e. if we wait 14 hours, the germ that can live for 12 hours in public places will be destroyed in the meantime.

Then when the curfew is relaxed and next day when we go to the public places, will find those germ-free. This procedure is followed in other countries, where they have sought help from the military to confirm the curfew and those who violate this would be arrested or fined. So let us accept our Prime Minister's loving plea and support the government in a democratic way and uphold our nation's prosperity and well-being…Stay home, Save the Nation. Jai Hind

Surrounded by grief

I don’t know how to express myself first, the squeezing grief of losing a furry friend who cared and loved unconditionally for nearly 12 years of relationship, and bonding that could not define in words, an attachment invisible to eyes;  Maya, the magic wizard of our life has vanished (on Nov 16) for ever.   I realize fully and consciously that the departed had happened though I still couldn’t console myself she’s no more and I feel really sick to digest, because we hadn’t been closer with anybody like her in the decade and she was there every day in our life and part of our journeys and this separation brought a great void in us and I don’t know how to cope without her further. Though I feel better now, getting back to the regular activities which I forced myself to keep away her thoughts (temporarily) but I know it’s not possible to block her all of sudden, as I was conscious about her every move and tiny sounds, I get disturbed when I hear anything similar to… because I was the only person in our family to have spent much time with her when everyone goes out on their business, she would be on my side.

Maya and me at my uncle's woodhouse, during a family vacation

As you all know from the previous post, the treatment Maya had been undergoing couldn’t make any improvement at all and the creatinine level has elevated up to an extreme high where dialysis become impossible because of her age and weakness. She had turned half her weight as she stopped eating from the beginning of the month and the last two days to her demise was greatly troubled her. I didn’t want to narrate further about her demise and it was really a painful moment I noticed ever, even I have lost some dear ones in past, their final moments were apart from my sight and this departure is something I really want to forget to retain only the cheerful memories  and brushes  of furry. 

Maya is an unplanned arrival and was forced to stay into our lives when we have any idea about adopting a dog or any other animals as pet, slowly she become unavoidable as a trouble as well a pleasure to increase and decreases stress. We had never been harsh with anybody, and this little furry ball/doll took it as a favour, tagged her in us and secured a quicker place to immovable. We couldn’t plan anything without her that let to miss a lot of opportunities and many a time I give damn but ever thought of denying her or lack in prior and to be certain she hadn’t been away for a day in last 7 years except that one day she stayed in clinic for uterus removal.

It is very hard really to swallow the truth that she shut her doors permanently and how close we’re to depart this way… she cared and was conscious when it comes to me and I enjoyed this care and affection what I even miss from human. From the conscience I could tell, she trusted me lot than anyone else and was certain I would hurt her ever, because she mostly sleep comfort by lying head under the wheels of my wheelchair!  Hope I lived to her faith and she shares a bond that had any doubts… Maya the word I frequent has turned whisper into ears, and I understand she’s no more but the practised tongue would take time to change.

Upset with Maya

For past two weeks, our pet dog Maya isn’t well and it’s been a week she had ate any and vomits whatever she takes in oral.  In September she had a severe wheezing and cough and was taken for x-ray and blood test revealed fluid in lungs and a bulge heart. Later she turned normal but couldn’t say she recovered fully. The one thing that always trouble us with her is she never take medicine easily and we use to apply tricks to let her pick the medicine or hide tablets in sweets and chocolates but this time we quite failed to do it either ways which perhaps led to a serious effect and kidney fault. We consulted the .vet when she refuses to eat or ate less and then a scan was took regard the signs, which exposed a gel like substance in the gallbladder but the dog refused to take a pill  and the injections also didn’t respond well. So the vet suggested taking her for a complete exam at the government veterinary hospital in Vepery, popular for treating animals. The amount for treatment is also considerably less at the veterinary hospital compared to pvt. clinics.

Maya look so tired sitting on the sofa

Again another round of scanning and blood tests confirms kidney fault in Maya, but this time she quit eating and was forced to put on DRIP as she turned weaker. For about a week she had been taken to the vet hospital for Drips, where medicine is injected as well and a blood test would be taken next week for further treatment. We really worry about her condition and she looks so pity now and had lost much weight and lie down sadly all the time. Last night she was vomiting for every two hours and mom had to wake up all night cleaning and comforting her. Though kidney fault had identified I see the gallbladder should be responsible for preventing her eating or digest the food. But we all hope she recovers and with that hope we bear all the difficulties. Though she’s almost 12 years old we hope for the best.