Fighting with Anxiety

Anxiety and panic attacks have been bothering me for a while now, and I'm finding it difficult to ignore the unwanted thoughts and concentrate on my regular work. I couldn't pinpoint the source of my anxiety because it was a thought or distraction related to my overall existence. I remember how clear my mind was a few weeks ago and how being alone and doing nothing didn't bother me, unlike now, when I wanted to be around someone or watch something active, like street activities or television, to distract myself from distracting thoughts. 

I almost believe it was because I slept less or frequently awoke at night. Until a few days ago, I felt sheepish as I approached midday, and a cup of coffee or tea would perk me up. Yes, I believe it's the reason—my sleepiness was disturbed—that drew me to drowsiness during the day, which may have paved the way for abnormal thoughts, distraction, and anxiety. 

I realized how I was losing sleep, and it was my attendant, who showed up early in the morning to assist my parents in putting me in the bath that was disrupting my sleep. My attendant works in an ortho clinic and has to be there by 9 a.m., so he has to put me to bathe before that, and my usual time of waking up is never less than 8 a.m., and mostly I get deep sleep nearly close to waking up; I have to force myself awake so that he is on time for his primary job. In this condition, I made a night trip while returning from Kodaikanal on February 1. It was a nightmare that took me a few days to become stable. Perhaps this was the source of my confusion.

I checked with the doctor, and he prescribed me a tablet to take at night for sleeping and relaxation (explored on google to know its purpose) for 30 days, but I haven't taken it yet because I'm feeling better now, but I decided to take it if I feel need it. I'm confident I will come out of this dilemma with much-needed sleep (to get clear without taking medicine) and concentrate on my regular activities. Let's see 

Mandous and Karthigai Deepam

Cyclone Mandous, which has been making headlines for nearly a week, made landfall very close to Chennai last night, with winds reaching up to 72 km hr, but caused only minor damage to a few trees in the vicinity. The rain was also moderate rather than intense. It had been raining on and off in the neighborhood all night, and with all doors and windows closed, the wind noise didn't disturb our sleep, even though it was possibly the coldest night of the year.

My hands and legs felt cold, but it wasn't hard enough to cover up or wear an additional layer over us, and we also turned the fan to low speed. Apart from that, the cyclone had little effect on us, and only my father couldn't go for a walk. The cyclone activity picked up only on Thursday, which was favorable because I had an appointment with my cardiologist on Wednesday that had been postponed for various reasons for the previous three weeks. 

My heart condition had been consistently stable for the last three years. My echo test sounds adequate, and the doctor was pleased with the results. He asked me to return for a checkup after a year rather than the usual six months. I inquired about the throbbing on the left side of my body and difficulty breathing, which he suspected to be anxiety, and told me not to worry. 

On November 6th, we celebrated Karthigai Deepam at home. We can also call it the "festival of lights" of south India or Tamil Nadu, as we ignite Diyas or clay lamps on the evening of Karthigai Deepam, likewise for Diwali. Diyas are typically lit on both sides of the doorway, on balconies, on window sills, and on steps to make them look lovely. Here are some photos of the Diyas we had at home. 

Nothing but a little regret!

It was a tunnel called the parental, and there was no light beyond it. No one knows much about me other than a concern, or I don't know that I haven't shown much of myself to anyone curious about the person I am or me. 

Aside from the primary feeling that life will be unbearably difficult without my parents, I worry about how understanding the people around me are. I don't travel far, but within my home and the extended family, beyond my mother and father, there is no awareness of me. 

People see me in my wheelchair all day, but I wonder what they think of me when I'm not sitting in a wheelchair.  Life isn't pleasant sitting in a wheelchair all day, but it is comfort compared to other obstacles such as attending nature calls, bathing, eating, sleeping, and other essential daily demands. I'm just thankful I have an electric wheelchair to get around on my own; otherwise, life would be difficult and timid. 

I just realized that, aside from my parents, the people around me don't know how to handle me unless I guide them. Still, the important thing is that they lack patience (which is a risk factor when dealing with me), and despite living nearby and seeing me daily, they lack the basic knowledge to assist me. They help us simply because we call them, rather than acting in their self-interest.

I was recently emotionally injured, albeit not directly affected, and I am positive it was related to my issue. I often felt like causing problems for someone because of how they behaved or acted hastily. 

It's a blessing and a curse at the same time that I can read the expressions on my loved ones' faces, perhaps because I notice details; even little changes don't escape my attention; the tone and, most of the time, their eyes reveal their intent while their lips go mute or overtalk. 

It all started in 2019 when my father had an angioplasty and stents placed. He had been cautioned not to lift weights, so he no longer lifted me for any position-changing activities. Since then, my brother and cousin have been assisting me with this, and we have only lately employed an assistant to help my parents place me in the bath and toilet. 

We had an assistant at the beginning of 2019, but he only came for one day; when he lifted me, I tore a ligament in my shoulder. We didn't look for anyone after that, but now that I couldn't bear the hardships we caused them, or at least lessen the burden, we seriously looked for a caretaker and got a nice guy through my physiotherapist. He works as an assistant radiologist in an ortho clinic, taking x-rays, and he agreed to assist me on the side.

Everything is going smoothly till now, and my heart also feels light that I won't bother my loved ones too much. Although I know they don't deny helping me at any time when we call, and I want to emphasize "just when we call," they are aware of how much I rely on them, but until we call, they don't reply or ask on their own and sometimes have to compel when they are out somewhere. It's difficult to do justice because they aren't obligated to answer, but I'm grateful for the unconditional help, which is impossible if they don't love me.   And I'm glad that, despite their apathy, they continue to help me, even though I'm upset that they do so without knowing anything about how things work for me!  

Signs on ECR (& health update)

The ECR is a scenic coastal road in Chennai that leads to Puducherry, and I generally traveled on it up to Mamallapuram, my ancestor's hometown. Aside from being a historically significant location for 5th-century rock-cut sculptures, I always look forward to its road trips and photo opportunities. Here are a few signs I shot from one of the trips. 

ECR Enclave 

Seawoods Cafe

P.s. My UTI (urinary tract infection) is still bothering me despite the medication I've been taking for the past few weeks. I knew it was a severe infection, but I didn't think it would linger this long. I had an abdominal scan at home today. I couldn't move out of my house because of the stormwater drain work, and even though the pit was encased by concrete, they hadn't completely covered it; I couldn't ascend down in a wheelchair. 

Our doctor assisted us in obtaining an ultrasound scan at home via a diagnosis center. I was examined by the doctor who had arrived in his car with the scanning equipment. He was a senior radiologist who was very attentive and patient with me as he inquired about my urinary problems. As he walked away, he assured me that there was nothing to worry about. His remarks were courageous, and I felt relieved. 

After reviewing the results, our doctor advised me to continue the medication for the next month because the infection in the bladder takes time to resolve. Except it's time to piss, I feel normal. I hope it passes off fast. 

What a week!

I haven't blogged in exactly a week. Even though it hasn't been a long time, the last week has been hell for me, and even though I'm feeling a little better now, I'll need to stay on meds for a few more days to treat my UTI. 

It starts with a mild cold and progresses to a nightmare on the 21st night. The next day, it gradually turned into a slight fever, followed by urinary irritation and frequent urination. It was unmistakably a sign of a UTI (urinary tract infection). I had already taken an antibiotic for a cold, thinking it would help, but as it worsened, my father went to the doctor and was prescribed medication. 

Perhaps I should have caught a cold from my 8-month-old nephew, Kavin, who was sneezing around, and the UTI has boarded along. In 2020, during the COVID period, I experienced a similar effect that lasted more than a week and required five injections to get rid of the infection. 

Our doctor wasn't in the city this time, but dad called him and got me medicine on his advice and took a urine culture test to determine the infection. The lab test took three days to complete, and the doctor arrived on the same day to prescribe different medications and three injections. I finished one today and have two more on hold. The injection location on my waist has gotten uncomfortable, and the other two have made me nervous. 

The previous week has been indescribable. When my urine became purple in a few instances, I knew it was a severe infection, and I knew it wasn't an easy pass like the urine itself. I'm hoping to feel better soon, and I couldn't concentrate on anything because my thoughts were preoccupied with the difficulties of pissing. My frequent urination has also produced challenges for my parents, who are my primary source of assistance in my daily life. For both, life becomes stressful. I hope things return to normalcy soon. 

I will check the blogs sooner.

Misleading Ad

There was a television commercial in which a family was traveling through the mountains, and the elder of the family sought to inhale the fresh breeze, but before he could fully breathe in, the family hurried him to another location, and this continued till they arrived home. The father complains at home that you didn't even let me breathe. The son asks his father where else he might go to breathe pure air.  We could be at home, and as he says, he turns on the A/C (a brand that comes with purified air), and afterward, the father stood in front of the A/C and breathed.

I was like what the heck! Actually, it was wtf, that came out unmindful. 

I was uneasy from the time I watched it, and I was like, how could they think of replacing nature and its breeze? I wonder if they realize what they are conveying through this commercial. The world is already descending into hell as people seek the artificial lifestyle and drown in a virtual world, disrupting their relationship with nature and fellow humans. Such commercials will be pushing into the abyss.

The growing generation, particularly children who are unaware of the commercial aspects of the AD, will believe that the air from the air conditioner is as good as or better than the pristine air that oozes from the natural environment. And this will encourage and induce them to use air conditioners frequently without realizing the harm they cause to the environment - and using excess a/c is also one of the causes of global warming. 

The gadgets had already held back kids inside the home, and the COVID came as an advantage to the younger generation, which was more than enough to keep them at home. Online education has encouraged the activity. The youngsters who come out to play have declined, and with such advertisements, it deteriorates! 

As a nature lover with a social concern, I condemn the commercial's creators and the concept of bullshit. At the same time, I am never against the comfort of people and in today's rising temperatures, normally in summer, the air conditioner is a boon, but we should know when and where to use it.  Sweating is not a curse, and there's nothing wrong with sweating unless it's extreme to dehydration.

No parent wants to see their children suffer during the summer, and the air conditioner has become such a necessity that we cannot stop its growth. However, sticking to limitations will benefit the environment. There are various ways to promote a product, but using nature as dice and creating an illusion against the natural elements would result in future generations being distracted and held captive within the home. 

As a believer in life outside the window, this ad made me endlessly sad. I wish the promoters realized the ad was misleading and changed its course before it reached a large number of people. 

For your reference here is the ad

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_AtlUFREgQ

Signs from Theni

There was once a custom in Tamil Nadu (or perhaps it is a practice throughout India, I'm not sure) to number the trees along the highway to ensure their protection. We can still see those numbers on trees along state highways, and the tamarind trees were usually the ones with the marks on their trunks. 

Once we were driving towards Theni (a southern district in Tamil Nadu), we happened to come to a halt in front of a tamarind tree with the number 10 painted on its trunk. We stopped to buy palmyra jaggery at a roadside stall, and the jaggery (sold by a couple) was worth buying, so we bought from the same stall again the next time we passed. 

We have been using palmyra jaggery and palm sugar for the last few years in place of white sugar. So we couldn't pass them up when the palm jaggery sold by them was of such high quality and purity. 

Coming to number 10 - 

There is also a popular comedy in Tamil, where the comedian Vadivelu draws the number 10 on an old woman's forehead who complains of fever. In Tamil, the number 10 is spelled pattu, and the same word is used to refer to patches or medicine applied to wounds; the entire village would chase him to beat, and one in the crowd would say, "See, he had drawn 10 similar to the one on the tamarind trees on highways."

The doll you see is at the entrance of Meenakshi Bhavan, a restaurant where we generally eat when traveling through Theni. It is one of the best vegetarian restaurants in Theni, though the taste of the food isn't as good as before. The doll serves as a welcome sign to the eatery, and it has idlis and dosa on the plate. 

Update

It was like yesterday, we welcomed a new year, but we had already come to the end of a month of the year. January, a month to be refreshing and cheering up following the Tamil festival and cool weather, had become a month of great exhaustion, and on the other hand, the cool weather had come worsening the state while one is ill.

More than a week has passed since I touched the laptop. My health took a setback with fever, abdominal infection, and loose motion dragging me out of the course of regular activities. To put it simply, I'm not a person who takes afternoon naps, but all these days I was forced to take it with exhaustion and from sleepiness nights. My fatigue almost went to a state of IV therapy, but I didn't go that far and managed with ORS and chyme to sustain against the heavy dose of antibiotics. And I can understand the seriousness of the infection from the gripping pain in the abdomen. 

Now, after completing the course of medication, I'm slowly coming out of nausea and tracing back to normalcy. The past week was quite difficult for us, and I had trouble attending the restroom more times; the worst phase was at night, with no one to help mom and dad. I never faced a situation like this and am still reclaiming my previous condition and hopefully will do so soon as I  plan a short trip before the winter season closes. 

The covid doesn't seem to be an issue these days, except the consoling fact that many people wear the mask in public, either due to awareness or fear of paying fines. The govt. to comes to slack mood or deliberately doing so because of emerging local body election, despite the omicron at peak, many people move along with the symptoms of same but untested. Covid almost added to the norm, and the only thing we have to do is keep the system running smoothly until some changes occur. 

We are living at the best and worst at the same time. The worst is undoubtedly the deadliest covid, a tremor that keeps shaking the entire earth and killing millions, and the best is that we came up with a vaccine that quickly, and ever in history, to shield the people from the spikes of covid. I can't imagine a situation now without the vaccine; what a great source of life our scientists found, and many still hesitate to take, and some skip the second dose while the booster began. I wish everyone joins this war to break the chain that confines us in the embrace of covid.

I hope you all are safe and progressive.

Omicron Vulnerability?

Omicron is spreading at an incredible pace in India, and the trial for Omicron has stopped here as most of the cases are the same. The possibility of catching the virus has become a no issue as I guess most of the cases of mild fever or cough and cold should be Omicron, including myself. It began with a throat cramp, improved with cold symptoms, and mild fever. After medication - 3 days of antibiotics and cold medicine, I have improved to the point where I can type this post on my laptop. Perhaps, the mild symptoms of Omicron and 2 doses of vaccine help fight this stage.

First, my brother experienced the same few days early as mine, and now, my aunt also faces the same. It stops me from doing anything that I'm interested in rather than watching tv and listening to music since tired or annoyed by the cold symptoms. I skipped two days off of regular physiotherapy. I keep checking with the oximeter that reads normal, and the temperature is too normal to keep away the anxiety.

Though I know Omicron isn't life-threatening for those who took the vaccine and even unvaccinated face any serious issue or go to ventilation condition, the weaker immunity as mine has to be cautious. Our state Tamil Nadu has gone on night and Sunday lockdowns as cases grow as 2 thousand per day, and further restricting or relaxing depends on the increase or decrease of the virus spread. But hopefully, it looks like at the speed of rising, it perhaps falls short and disappears quickly from the society. 

With two years of experience related to Covid, we should be well aware of the reasons for that and adapt to the new lifestyle, which is already 2 years old.  But I am still annoyed hearing that some people haven't taken a dose of vaccine and fall into the custom of masking their jaws. For example, our servant maid doesn't wear the mask properly - at least she took the vaccine. And because of that, my mother wears a mask whenever she enters the kitchen. 

I hope you all are safe and following the covid protocol to prevent being affected.

Take care

Do age define all?

Do you think age defines all? There's wording in Tamil "Sathikka vayathillai"  to achieve, age is not a barrier, and the same goes with anything as you can't decide what your heart desires despite the health condition and age. Though I know fatigue is not only for the body but for the mind as well. But many a time, the body could not cooperate with the energetic mind or interest level; it is perhaps because of weakness or illness, not age. 

Age, in general, is considered to be a part of the time or phase that takes place in the body and mind as well, but what we have done is define things that have to be done at specific age only. I'm not going to deny that because things generally work adjutant with that, and true to an extent. But this is not with all the cases - some exceptions have the right to think out of the box. It is possible or not is up to the one who tries, and we should not deny it generally because of age.

Like the time that does not wait for anyone, age keeps rising every year either you consider it or not; our body keeps worn out as we used to it, our mind may also feel tired, but we can't say it is the state of mind with everyone. I see many young people feeling lazy and lacking interest/energy to do things; at the same time, I see brisk elders walking thousands of steps daily, working hard, and reading a lot to keep them at a steady pace even though they can't work beyond a limit. What I see is the way they try and experience life despite their age. 

Is there anything that only kids should enjoy these things and adult these and olds that? You can't refine or define your mind as it is beyond your reach, and it consists of many other things than age. Someone in mid-age who loves to wet in the rain would hesitate to step out of the home thinking what the society would say? Of course, are you a kid to play in the rain? Is rain belong to kids? If you are good enough with resistance power (desire sees that?) or ready to face the illness that follows, go ahead and enjoy the natural showering. 

I would say kick away the age barriers. I hear many opposing it and have reasons to argue, like is it ok for kids to explore adult things?  Those who turned age 18 considered adults because 18 is a general age or stage where individuality happens. But is it questionable whether everyone over the age of 18 is mature enough to handle their uniqueness? I have seen people below the age of 18 being responsible and acting consciously and those aged to behave ridiculously. 

Some hesitate to treat the child hidden within them, thinking about society and stuffing themself in a stressful mood, and act as if they lost interest in the childish things. How many adults play video games on the smartphone, and isn't that kids' stuff? lol 

I'm not complaining but want to encourage you to explore things that were fair, lawful, and harmless to the circumstances - that society put behind the bars of age.  If someone feels young at the age of 60, let it be, and age is only a number, and it counts only on aging and never reads a mind. Our life is surrounded by a lot of little happiness, and we should not miss those just because it is not related to our age. 

Smartphones and Contemporary Kids

Smartphone, the word has become a heartthrob of man, particularly the younger generation, and each whining of the smartphone is a stimulator on the veins. The smartphone has created a global revolution in telecommunications in the short time since the introduction of cellular phones in the early 90s. Smartphones have become inseparable and mandatory power of the human race in their daily life. 

Like everything that has a plus and minus, negative and positive, good and bad, smartphones do their part of the sum. Every instrument, device, and gadget made possibly good purposes, and it is up to us to use it in the same way. And I think it lies in understanding the invention of the device and its use. 

Smartphones are for adults, and I still believe even after the pandemic situation had become favor against my thought of kids using smartphones, for online classes, except the occasions of emergence, kids don't have any business with smartphones. A consoling thing (this time) was kids using smartphones in the right way for education rather than gaming. Though kids and games are inseparable, let whatever the purpose for you to hand over the smartphones to kids, their gaming intend is indispensable. 

image courtesy

Leaving that apart, let us move into the intention of the post that handing over the smartphones to little ones and infants. Let's say it has become a trend or newfound custom by the young mothers to feed their children by playing something on the smartphone for the little ones to watch to take a mouthful. Perhaps, smartphones are handy, and the young mothers who always hold to them entertain the child by showing something amusing on the screen to feed the stubborn instead of heading out or relying on something real for amusement.

And what this shows is their laziness or lack of time (if she's a working mother) to use smartphones this way to quickly and easily feed a baby. (The young mothers in the blog world should forgive me if I'm wrong in my perception.) The young parents see if the kids trouble them, and if so, they give away their smartphones to the kids to sit quietly in a corner to allow them to do their chores. And this is where the trouble begins. 

One of my uncle's daughters, less than the age of 3, was in trouble when she allowed watching the smartphone continuously. My uncle had another baby when the elder daughter was a year and a half, and to look after the 2nd baby, they gave the smartphone to the elder and made sit quiet. Since the child keeps looking at the smartphone is not able to focus on anything other than staring and smiling only at the smartphone screen. She is still under therapy and is recovering at a good pace. 

I think the young mothers feel trendy to say that they feed their child by showing smartphones. I saw a mother trying to feed her child by playing a youtube video on the phone, but the child wasn't interested, and she was forcing him against his will to play, but not on the phone. On the same line, my cousin also tried this way on my newborn nephew Jeshwanth, and we have warned her not to follow this route, and I hope she listens to us. 

(My little nephew is now flipping and started to lay on his stomach. The boy began to take solid food like our traditional idly and biscuits in creamy form. His activities and naughtiness have increased, which needs a separate post to show off his actions.)

I fear smartphones would steal the children's childhood because friends and games (not online gaming or gambling) are a vital part of the period that lasts as evergreen memories of our lifetime. If they miss this chance, there isn't a chance to get back things, and the virtual world will end in a flash of great disappointment. 

The children's world is big, their imagination is boundless, and it is unreasonable to shrink it with a small device called the smartphone. We should make understand kids that smartphone isn't the world, but a part of it. I agree smartphones are essential in today's online education and communication, and it is better if they stood with that for the kids.

Thank you 

Time

pic: google

Time is precious, and it never waits for anybody, and what I intensively know was I have a limited time. Though no one can predict the end of our lifetime, the fact is that no one lives beyond a limit, and for some, the time works short or lasts longer. Something that I utter often was 'no time. Not that it means I'm busy. My activities had slow down or cut short due to the progressive downgrade disability despite my intention of doing many things. Perhaps because of it, my writing has come down, or I'm taking a long time to write to improve myself to a standard of writing without mistakes. Not only writing, but all my daily activities take a toll, including the time I take for dinner or breakfast is had not less than half an hour. 

I realize the importance of time and its cruciality to be creative. I try as much as I can to use the time rather than just being idle, and I see how satisfied I am at the end of the day, either it helps someone or not. But one of the things I don't like is the division of time into good and bad times. I think it's good or bad depends on our intention and if we intend to do good all time is a good time.   

Some people always watch time to do things, some hurry to do within a time limit or delay up till the right time come. I know religious people follow a custom of watching good time to begin an event or any activity they take in front, similar to the Hindus who follow Rahu kalam and yamagandam - a time considered to be inauspicious. Though I don't believe in the mentioned above, I can't appreciate people-watching time for everything. Just because things didn't work for them, blame always falls on time. 

Like I said in the beginning, time never waits for anybody or hurry up for our impatience, and we need to adjust things according to the availability of time. 

Course Completed!

I completed the 2 doses of vaccination on Saturday after 92 days of 1st dose. 

My parent completed the course of vaccination (with Covishield/AstraZeneca) before I took the 1st dose, and the time period for them then was 45 days. But when I took it, the ICMR (Indian Council of Medical Research) extended the time between the 1st and 2nd doses of the vaccine to 90 days. I think this extension was to make the vaccine available for many, for at least one dose, to keep away from the seriousness of covid.  

For my 1st dose, I visited the nearest vaccination center, and that time it was a total lockdown so accessing the wheelchair wasn't difficult through the empty main roads. Now, the city bumped back to its array of traffic, and steering the wheelchair wouldn't be smooth, but I was in intend of visiting the center if there aren't any options.  

During my 1st dose, I saw the doctors and nurses at the vaccination center getting ready for home vaccination for elders and differently able as soon vaccinated me, as I was the last one to take a vaccine that day. And that was the day home vaccination was launched by the state government to facilitate those who couldn't access the center. So this time, I utilized the facility, and even before we enquired and two days to my 2nd vaccine, guys in two-wheeler came announcing in a megaphone that they would come home-to-home as a special vaccine camp (on Thursday 26 Aug) and the one who doesn't take can take. 

I waited, with a sigh of relief, and I waited the whole day, but there wasn't a sign of vaccination. 

The next day dad went to enquire about the home vaccination drive, and at the center, told there wasn't a home-to-home vaccination camp, and for me, they agree to come home if we arrange transportation. So upon this, dad took my cousin in our car and picked up the nurse from the center, and after vaccinated me (with Covishield/AstraZeneca), dropped her back. The nurse brought one dose for me after being vaccinated for 9 others as one vial of vaccine is injected to 10 people, and once open, it needs to be fully used within four hours. 

Same as the 1st dose, the vaccination went smooth, and I didn't experience any unusual health beyond 48 hours now except for a sore arm. My cardiologist advised drinking plenty of water for 1st dose prescribed blood thinner for a week for the 2nd dose, perhaps because the doctor might want to be cautious. Our state has gone to nill restrictions now, and more liberty with social activities, there's a great chance for a surge in cases and vaccination being the only solution, I'm glad to complete the course to feel secure. But, still being cautious is more than enough. 

Got vaccinated with Covishield (AstraZeneca)

I got vaccinated, 1st dose, today from the Urban community health center at a walkable distance from home.  Vaccination started in India in January, and the first preference was given to frontline workers and later to those above 45 years; from May 1st, vaccination open to everyone above 18. But, they couldn't begin as announced due to a lack of vaccination, and in our state of Tamil Nadu, it started only last week with special priority to differently challenged.

There are three different vaccines available in India - Oxford-AstraZeneca's Covishield, India's Covaxin, and Russia's Sputnik-V - and I took Covishield, which is the only available vaccine now despite what I was about to take in case of. My dad and mom had already completed the course of two doses of vaccine two weeks before mine. They took the 2nd dose 6 weeks later, following their 1st dosage. For me, they have given 90 days or 14 weeks to take the 2nd dose.

The ICMR (Indian Council of Medical Research) has extended the duration between the 1st and 2nd dose of vaccine from 45 to 90 days for Covishield. I don't know about the other two vaccines. I registered online on May 1st itself, and till now, every time I open the page of registration, it shows available for the 45+ only. So, rejecting it, we went directly to the vaccination center as it had already announced that differently challenged are an exception of all, and they are true to their words.

Less than a km from home, I reached the vaccination center riding my power wheelchair, and we had to wait for only 10 to 15 minutes that too because of some issue going between the staff and some public. Actually, they issued tokens to the people to take the vaccine, and they all seated maintaining a distance, and suddenly the staffs announced stopping of vaccination, and people erupt. After some argument, they were allowed to vaccinate, but some went off already.

By the time they vaccinated me, Republic Tv was covering the vaccination and after seeing me in the wheelchair, they inquired me about shooting while I was vaccinated. I accepted immediately as they said it could be awareness for people who refused to believe or were scared of vaccines. While moving out after waiting for 10 minutes on the premises, as advised by them to see I feel any discomfort, they interviewed me (click here for the video link on YouTube) with few questions related to my experience with vaccination.

I'm feeling normal until writing down this, and no pain on the arms too, but I don't know what kind of reaction it stored for me further tonight or tomorrow. I'm quite confident that my body accepts the vaccine and works better to prevent Covid and lessen the effects of anything that comes against it. The doctors who were around me when vaccinated encouraged me to eat well and be confident. And don't go anywhere until taking the 2nd dose, without fail.

No Liquor Please!

It’s obvious how Pandemic battle down people on earth and our situation in India kept worrisome as we lose nearly thousand lives every day and fifty thousand plus new cases. While Chennai sustain a slow and steady pace of pandemic cases, the cases in districts follows the same to count 5k+ daily, and in this situation the govt. has ordered to open the liquor shops in Chennai that was closed for last 5 months or from the beginning of lockdown. The govt. had opened the liquor shops already in districts other than Chennai and its suburbs in May but their decision to open in the city caused no surprise rather made feel regret about their quicker move.
 
I felt not good actually when the govt. announced shutting down of liquor shops in the state, due to pandemic, as I believed it’s not easy for those addicted to alcohol to sustain without drinking and would cause a perplex leading to violent behaviours.  I know some people who find difficult to skip a day without drinking and lead a life quite dedicated to drink. I thought about them and it isn’t that I support them but I understand the pattern of their lives from my perception and wanted them to be alive rather drinking something more poisoning. But to my surprise, the people’s response was superb apart from few abnormal cases of drinking sanitizer (due to alcohol content) and commits suicide because of the unavailability of liquor.  
 
The drinkers in Chennai has already adapted to the lifestyle of sober in last 5 months of lockdown, and without drinking; now opening the liquor shops will certainly turn down the newly adopted norms, people practiced all these days despite many difficulties and emotional fights. Many a family felt a sigh of relief when the liquor shops were closed as the men in the family doesn't need to hurt women or extorting money anymore (although it is temporary) it keeps the suffering away. Tomorrow, the opening of government liquor shops will break the cells of self-controlled alcoholics, who truly amazed me though their sustainability in lack of liquor what I thought of quite impossible.
 
The nature and environment healed a lot during these pandemic lockdown periods and the shutting of liquor shops is another gracious thing happens at this time and I wished it turned out to be permanent. I know it’s not that possible unless government stops obtaining money from the sale of liquor, but I think there couldn’t be a better situation that this to regulate or create a s ober like circumstance that could be good for the country and home. I know however we cry the govt. isn’t going to tilt the ear. At least until the pandemic is over or reduced enough the liquor shops can wait rather become a spreading zone of Covid 19.

Positive or Negative, Covid 19 Test Perplex

In the last 4 months of Covid 19 pandemic period, guys we had just came close to it and put hold above us. Yes, one of our tenants staying upstairs had positive result yesterday and he was picked up by the health care workers for further testing at King’s institute (a WHO authorised centre in Chennai) found no sign of positivity but he was advised to quarantine for next 15 days. Someone working at the hotel, where he works, was tested positive so his management asked him to take a Covid test at the nearest health care centre and he got tested 3 days ago from the result and the health care workers had stick a notice at the entrance of our house notifying the presence of a Covid 19 positive patient at this house.

The notice contains his name, age, address and the number of days he needs to be quarantined. Actually there’s very less chance for him to be infected as his work from home for the most except vising the hotel once or twice a month for billing. He works as a financial manager in a reputed 5-star hotel in the city and he hails from West Bengal and staying along with his wife and a 3 year old daughter. Above all he isn’t a kind of indifferent guy neglecting the preventive measures and he even wear gloves when going out for grocery and wash all the vegetables before bringing into home. So his initial positive report really made us wonder and scary as well and we breathe easy only after learning his negative signs and he’s sent back to home to stay alone in a room for 15 days.

The health care workers sprayed disinfectant outside our home and is checking him daily for any symptoms or needs. It makes think his positive report should be a mistake or he naturally cured between the time he took test and report delivered. I think taking 3 days for the result is really a long time, and anything is possible during this time. This is a second case I learn where the Covid positive becomes nothing when tested again at Kings Institute and I really don’t understand what makes the difference between the tests taken by the health care works at the health centres and the institute.

Actually I want to write something but end up writing this and what I really couldn’t connect is why many feels bad about Covid positive notice stick to their walls. No one really like or intend to be a Covid positive and it’s an infection that anyone would carry without their knowledge so why one should worry what others would think of it. Unless someone affected in their family people doesn't realizes the situation and troubles one faces as Covid positive. In reality we are leaning our support to his family and have requested his wife to contact us for any help or want to buy anything as she having a little child it’s difficult to make out. He used to play with his daughter till midnight (as she sleeps mostly in day times) and she’s so attached to him should be emotionally difficult for both either locked behind the door. I hope he shows no positive signs, what is good for all.

Healing Earth and Me

Pandemic is what all about and all roads lead to same for more than last three months and we still have any idea where and when it all going to end though we know for sure it will and should be end at an end. Everyone should have gone through different experiences during this period of pandemic and lockdown and this goes like a real life drama without any rehearsals and it has affected us in no way one could imagined. But one great comforting thing the pandemic made was refining nature and environment.  Today being Sunday and final day of total lockdown the carbon monoxide level in the air in Chennai has went  down to the level of 8 what usually used to be 60+, which marks moderate air quality, makes apparent how significant the changes are. But this doesn’t going to sustain for sure when the relaxed lockdown come into force from tomorrow, however getting life back to normal is quite important while keeping the environment clean.

The lockdown really made feel secured a lot during these pandemic days as we’re uncertain who carries the virus, staying home we feel safe.   I didn’t find the lockdown a greatly difficult as my life is almost made into home  but as a travel enthuse its quite different and I live all these days with my travel memories and watching travel/food vlogs on YouTube. Nature and environment is clean making me so happy and I’m enjoying more bird sounds these days than vrooming bikes and cars. I think if not pandemic the earth wouldn’t get a chance to cleans the manmade dirt though it isn’t a happier way to support or got this done from peoples suffering and deaths. Nature is rich and it has the power to recycle and we’re same as any other living on the earth. Animals traces their roots and corridors while we shut our roads and leave no foot prints inside their landscapes, it still make  worry to hear even the predators (us) are lockdown in home, more than a dozen elephants died (including the one shot by farmers) for unreasoning in Tamil Nadu in last few weeks.

I could say the last few weeks were the worst days for me during this lockdown period and I think you people know and if not, I went through a long-time fever ever in my life and I quite terrified as you know we go through pandemic I’m uncertain and anxious what these symptoms lead to. Glad it was only a urinary tract infection and the injections worked really well and I’m out of it. But before it got over I had a severe sprain at my ankle and I am still going through the pain and swelling and if it continues few more days, I had to take an x-ray to see what really happened. My physiotherapist said nothing to worry but I go through doubts. I hope you guys continue on the safe path and stay safe at home. Wish the pandemic is over or reduced sooner to become not a life thereat. 

Fever Triggered fear

Two weeks passed since I blogged. Lap times turned nap times – laptop unopened in last ten days.  Anxious ran through the nerves. Mind struggled to grasp anything that comes into attention. The days are hot as ever reflected up on me and I fell into fever that lasted more than a week. First my father caught fever and we feared really but his temperature is back to normal after two days on medicine. And before he touched norm fever clutched me and refused to give up until a doctor’s intervention and strong medicine to light down the heat. Being a pandemic period it is not easy to take anything lighter and more than the suffering from fever, the fear of what it could be jammed me. I know I was cautious with my every step into the pandemic field and keep reminding my dear ones to follow the same but we can’t be certain that everything is under control.

First it was guessed as viral fever because of normal blood test report but yesterday’s urine culture report reveals bacterial infection in urinary system and doctor told to take antibiotic injections for 5 consecutive days and he’s sending his staff to home to inject me daily.  He isn’t a regular doctor I visit, but I have no option as there’s any other doctor available and small hospitals are either closed or refuse to see fever patients in my neighbourhood. After more than 3 months, I stepped out of the house to visit the diagnostic centre in neighbourhood for the blood urine test and I was allowed only after the thermal scanning, which showed fever, but still they allowed perhaps I am regularly testing there.  I expressed my anxiety of fever in facebook and the fiends there really supported me and encouraged to think positive and now I have no fever and the nausea also reduced drastically. I’m on the second day on injection and injection is something I haven’t gone through in a decade is painful to take. Hope I get back to norm soon.4

Covid is something really reaching new peaks daily in Chennai and continues to be second hotspot of India. Chennai and its neighbouring districts are under complete lockdown until June 30 and it could be extended apparently to keep down the death and spreading rate. Take care and stay safe

Thank you

கொரோனா பாடம் / Corona Lesson

உலகைக் கட்டுப்படுத்த விரும்பினோம்
அடங்கிப்போனோம் வீட்டுக்குள்ளே. 

கண்ணுக்கு தெரியாத கொரோனா 

கண்ணு மூக்கு வாய் என விரல விட்டு ஆட்டுது.

அதுவும் நம் கையைக்கொண்டு !

கோயில்கள் பூட்டப்பட்டுள்ளன

சுத்தமும் சமூக விலகலும் உயிர் காக்கின்றன.

மருத்துவமனைகள் கொரோனாவுக்கு ஒதுக்கி விட்டன.  

சுய கட்டுப்பாடே தடுப்பு மருந்தாகி விட்டன.

சுற்றமும் நட்பும்  விலகி இருக்கட்டும் -

கொரோனவை வீழ்த்தட்டும். 

-------------- ------------

We wanted to control the world
Domesticated at home.
The invisible corona
Fingered the eyes, nose and the mouth.
That too with our own hands!

The temples are locked 
Cleanliness and social alienation keep us alive. 
The hospitals were allotted to the corona 
Self-control has become the vaccine. 
Let go of the affinity and the friendship - 
Let the corona fall.

Life changing Covid 19 - 30 days into lockdown

I think the real challenges wait for us only when the lockdown is relaxed, because, so far, almost, I personally feel secure during this lockdown period even though I wasn't content with the indifference in people I connected. People talk about the difficulties of daily labourers, who survive on daily wages, forgetting their own lack of contribution in social distancing and wearing masks which is what going to improve the situation and help the poorer, quicker to get back to their livelihoods.  I don’t think we all could get back to our previous life exactly, because the Covid 19 had almost turned down or blocked the way life progressed as we exposed to rise in transmission of virus, we’re forced to stay home to stay safe and take precaution measures to prevent spreading of virus.

Social distancing comes natural to these ladies... walking back to their houses carrying firewood on their heads, after picking it up in forest near Kukkal in Kodaikanal. Image shot last year during a holiday in mountains.

We have almost used to this custom of lockdown in last 30 days of implement, throughout India, though some continue to act like breaking down the lockdown, three-quarter of people supports the system to hunt down the virus completely. Though we all know this virus is not easily destructive and it could continue to popup anytime into the future unless a vaccine is found, social distancing and masking would become a trend and necessity in our daily life. We, now, have enough time to think about the future and how to adapt to a new lifestyle we supposed to take over once the lockdown is relaxed and the preventive measures to take despite whatever the work we do further.

Lockdown or Curfew is very new to most of us but we have heard this word in news and movies and Jammu & Kashmir, the northern state of India, frequently go through this in order to control terrorism and protests and some districts in south Tamil Nadu had faced the curfew due to certain issues. Now, the entire country, and most of the countries in world imposed lockdown clearly to bring down the number of covid 19 cases and to break the chain of spreading virus and this is the only way WHO prescribed to the world, following the success of China. The earth and the air is pollution free now, but we’re forced to wear mask! See how miserable man on earth, he could not enjoy two things at a same and need to sacrifice something to get another.