Trust and belief

Everybody trusts somebody in the essence of life. Being true to ourselves is also a form of trust and belief, which get us freedom and left fearless to be strong. When I come to think about trust, I felt to believe that humans are the only obvious in life. From my view I see only people around me and even my favorable nature could turn sometime to unwind, but if a person could not attend me I am no more and sprinkle. In trusting something vague and nothing, it’s better to trust a person indeed. Every person is not believed easily and no one could understand like a person indeed. I believed in some people generally and when came to know there true nature I does lost hope, but learned lessons that all passing clouds don’t rain forever. Even though I expected and experienced drought to realize that seasons change and every season have an essence. But what remains eternal was air we breathe and what exist for now.

What we believe is up to our belief and nobody can force somebody to believe something. Even if something exists by a force there we could not find a true belief and something like that I experienced early in my life without my knowledge. Today also I could see some parents insert there belief into there children and wiser people to defuse the young ones uncertain. No person is unbeliever just like that, unless experience the stuff and learn a lesson, and don’t our experience and knowledge rise us up? There was something called god, ones I believed uncertainly and prayed from heart and do things whatever said by parents. My journey drove me through much mirage believed to be true and murmured anything without front thinking and in fear. No one could find out the change in me so easily, because there wasn't much difference in my practice and the change happens inside to invisible to anyone. In love I accept anyone’s wishes and prayers, direct or indirect it was from there heart, but I never pledged to there belief, because I trust them and not there belief.

In friendship trust is more important, what we can’t share with our parents and cousins could be done with a friend. What I shared here is unknown mostly to my dear ones outside blogging and I wonder sometimes why we have a limit with them. We really run within a circle and never thought to go beyond in trusting more like a friend and alike, everyone have a friend to share there secret in trust. In my life I am uncertain with any relationship to trust to bear me as long I and they live, and it was something uneasy for me to think beyond my parents. If I have to say something about my happiness and spirit, is because of being true to myself and my conscience. First we have to trust ourselves, before expecting someone to be true. We trust people up to a boundary and even we have to trust them alone beyond the boundary, which I would to do with no secondary idea.

This post was inspired by Krystyna’s recent blog post.
The picture above was taken on feb 12, at 6 in early morning. The place was Muttukadu Backwater Lake on ECR.

Uneasy movements

Last week I was anxious about my health, because of something gone wrong with my walking which thought me setback. In cause of some events and weekend, I unused the calipers for sometime and when I return to regularly pace, I found difficult in steps further and felt pain at neck. It happens sometime whenever I lack to wear and walk in caliper for some days and thought it was that difficult I could over come next day. But it continues uncertainly for few days, which I couldn’t bear the balance and went to scare in distress perhaps steady uneasy pace. I am using calipers for the last 9 years to walk and to keep in touch with the practice, but from the beginning I had a steady slow reduction in motion, from my own ability to support somebody in walk. Caliper was the only thing worth helpful in the long trail medical indication, that too uphold by a traditional Ayurvedic examiner. I wonder sometimes why the literate allopath doctors couldn’t give more importance to maintain the ability than to discuss always the only unfound medicine and therapists to go on ignoring patients. Something I experience at the medical examinations and parents, doctors and patients meeting conduct by the MD Association.

What the problem at my uneasy pace was just a folded paper is unbelievable. I forget to remember one day I told mom to place a folded paper inside the caliper footwear to increase the balance, but it seem gone overdose to put me into struggle and unbalance, which I suddenly thought to remove on Friday. I was back to normal subsequently to restore fresh breeze and excitement, as it was one of my hopes and pleasure that I merely walk regularly on flat surface. The tough times are those replace with new calipers and I have changed so far three with two going out of size and one broke away while walking. More than me, my uncle was happy to see me out of uneasy and he told he prayed a lot to see me back at comfort and he is one main reason I am still on pace, as he come home regularly on evenings to get me walk some laps inside home. Walking was one great activity stable with me for long, even at least and is believed to maintain the physical adequate.

Another hardship that caught up life last week and still on process was my power wheels. It refuses to operate the system from Monday and no one to take it to service to restore the problem and absence of labor put it further delay. But one thing I realize now and how wonderful it was having a power wheel chair operated by myself put me on individual move. Now I have problem with everyone putting my wheels at position and test patience myself and others to irritate by calling them often to move from one place to another. I call mom and dad to tell; well I brought power wheels so as I avoided anxious and troublesome from you all and kept you away from distress. Wow life was comfort and pleasure with power wheels; I enjoy the freedom it got me and makes less stress to everybody. I hope the wheels are restored soon and catch up with my other activates I miss these days.

Why do you write?

To all my dear friends here

I sense my existence when I write on my own, which I came to realize when I was in mid blogging era. The one reason I continued to write whatever interest me and thoughts and feeling. It all begin with interest of reading, esp. daily newspapers and want to maintain the writing practice, which I though I can’t untouch if I lost. When I begin writing no one used to encourage me and thought at my circle what am I writing going to do, but on my own interest I took the pen to write anything. Writing today become one of my need to express myself, the only way I could communicate to the world of my joy, suffering, puzzle, interest ect… through blogging.

From past to present what all have I developed or got better in writing is because of my reading and learning practice. It what make me interest to write on my thoughts and observation. In no way I feel pity for nothing doing in my life from the usual thing people do at my age than just reading, writing, traveling and observing as a hobby or to time pass. These things make me to progress in life in means of passion and courage. I feel to realize that writing needs more patient esp. for me alone in down in progress in deed. I need to tell the world that disable went wrong with us – persons with MD, to stop anything to loss forever and that’s why I do write/type. And more I love to have friends which never happen alive until I start blogging and after schooling. I have a mean to write that someone listens to me, nothing worth to say, but I have something to say, about me in general and causes I come across to write.

Lately I fell in love with creative thoughts, to say, which turns my interest more on writing. This write-up is also a creative thought that rose after reading Jan’s post which I came across after sometime inspired by Red. Sometimes I don’t get a thing to write, but after just go on reading my other blog friends post, I caught somewhere a thought to write. I love the sharing process, which one mean and belong to life and existence I realize, and the one main reason why I write. Like how without gasoline a vehicle can’t move, so as without my friends comment and encourage I can’t write more. Who can stop me from writing until blogs and internet are freely available, among keeping away my distress? I am uncertain how long could I able to write/type with my hands, so somehow I wish to write further more possible. Whatever I think and like to express do my writing here. It’s a place recognize me as a writer who couldn’t even write a story and thing properly.

It’s interesting. If you like, do write.

In love

My hands rust
without touching her palm
My eyes struggle
without seeing her face
My world conclude
within her embrace

I wake and sleep
by her eyesight
I struggle to leave
when she’s stressed
I love her, not alone
because she’s my life

Preserve and care
everyone to give, unlike her
People come and go
but she’s the only hope
Praise whatever I do
to never say shatter words.

Third eye

More than politics – it’s my thoughts.

Now its time for political buzz in India, ahead of parliament election to form a new government in heed of peoples need, and I have something to say about it. Like many, I too wish for an alternate government to form in center which wasn’t visible to me still, even though a third front dawned to face the parliament election head by Left. What the change we expect is not from the same political parties or politicians and not a political government, but people’s government. That can be given only by those come from public indeed and truly understand the peoples need. Are those contesting in elections are from no political background or support and those independently contest win all the phase? No. This was something rarely happens and like Madhu Koda who was an independent legislator to become a chief minister of an Indian state Jharkhand. We need politicians from public and not from the same background.

I see, there is no more interest in public to enter politics and many are even lazy enough to stand in a queue to poll there rights. Everyone have a dream of becoming a Computer Engineer, Doctor and even ready to become an actor and fashion designer, but not a politician and agriculturist. The rates of those wish and write exams for IAS, IPS and other government official post have been down. For what these courses have been not intended I find was, more than being a respected officer with less earning, its better to settle with much eared through private companies or to live aboard – am very sorry if it hurts somebody here. But doesn’t it have a little truth? I am not accusing totally and everyone have there rights to decide on the present and future, but I too have a mind to wish it would be worth the public interest turn upon politics. Of course there are some people individually won in local elections such as counselor, panchayat… but they are not completely deserved to people and mostly it’s for political influence and power.

The political manifesto is proof how well our politicians understood the people. They never allow people to open there mouth by sticking no cost announcement and free gadgets to everyone. They tell they give more importance to youngster to involve in politics and party, but whom they are if we see are not below 40 nearly. I wish and dream India caught up with more youngsters involve in every form, including politics and agriculture to take country at balance. Never have I said engineering and doctorate are not important, they take them to higher status in knowledge and society, so everyone wish it easily, but at same time there are hard work fields like politics and agriculture seems dry without courage to take steps in advance. I agree the equipments are more advance in agriculture field, but who involves in making product is less and uneducated mostly followed by tradition. It’s not a simple business anyone could do, it cause more strength and life involvement, but when our scientific knowledge adds in progress, we could find increase and easy productivity in cultivation and food processing with enough or little water and price. I would like to criticize the government which promise to turn the wastelands into cultivation, according to manifesto, brought me sorrow seeing there carelessness and isolate to allow the agriculture lands to turn concrete floors.

Back to third eye. When we have illicit and criminals in politics why not some individuals with truly care for society and people. In day today everyone follows the preceded idea alike other politicians, so when everyone sawn at that view, we miss who truly deserve. We are uncertain in finding the right person to heed our need and the reflections cause confuse in selecting true color. It’s so easy to find which is black and white, but everyone heads with a grey color makes us pause from taking right decision in voting. In which belief and cause do people poll there vote and do there questions answered later? In day today with many parties contesting the election, the votes are shattered and no party gets majority and put at risk of uncertain fall. What I wish is any party to come with majority and unity among alliance to strengthen the country and bold enough to take step with knowledge and kind at heart.

Someday I dream, pace of youngsters in parliament and cabinet, lifting up politics and agriculture to standard and make it regard. Clearing away the uproar and confusions, bringing discipline and respect to the leaders and house. The sound and resonance of same in silence and kind of minds to agree in heed of peoples need, keeping away the political grievance. How many leaders today are being inspirational and roll mode to younger generation to say I want to be like this leader and about to follow his path? Don’t we lose hope with corruption and the bad names created by filmdom on politics? Last but not least. I am someone willing to poll my vote in ‘May’ parliament election and I am in a state of mind similar to what I have written above. I like to vote, to whom the matter is uncertain.

The title was something caught my attention from a news i read today.