My perception on God!

Lot has changed with my perception on things, as I keep learning and experience life people do not notice it easily or I haven’t exhibited or chance to do. Being mostly home bound, except my parents no one observes things at close or interested to look into but with each passing phase the transformation happens as I ponder over things. One such thing was stop believing there's  God!  This wasn’t a decision of all of sudden but layer by layer the thoughts inbuilt within and it isn’t a reflection of my frustration of being disabled or anxiety. It’s a conscious decision truly based on rational thoughts and inner feeling.  Perhaps it could be my inability to obtain the feel of god but I wasn’t blindfold to stamp against others feelings and at same time I’m reasonable to feel unlike.

I don’t hide or deny that I believed God once when I wasn’t truly conscious about things or understood life. Though I don’t say I quite aware everything, but from my understanding which perhaps wrong, I couldn’t feel the god or hold faith. I might be wrong if I seek evidence and definitely there’s a power behind the rotation of earth and universe setting, but I couldn’t come to a term there’s god behind this exist. The transformation began within me more than a decade ago and many silent moments and questions answered me the same. Though my perception has changed I continue to capture or record things related to devotion or idol worshipping, and it doesn’t matter upon what belief it hold, I can’t deny the reality happening around me.

But still many things haven’t changed or turned down and I like going to big temples not for worship but to admire the craftsmanship and take photos on the architecture and sculptors. I see big temples or churches as a landmark of history and marvel at same and some are beautiful (even they’re small shrines or mosque) to watch. I still get to smear sacred ashes on the forehead by the dear ones which I have no mind to stop or argue in disbelief, and that doesn’t mean I praise the lord but respect their feeling and prevent hurting. I never like hurting anybody and couldn’t do so and not only because it hurt me more than I do, I dare to confront not in fear but love. While I stay away from others religious belief, I can’t stand up the superstitions and will protest when needed.

I grow up from a family that has been pious and my dad never misses a day to worship from the house altar (puja room) and going to temple on weekends. Mom does not miss her Friday worship and any monthly special days of worship apart celebrating festivals, people could wonder how come I differ in thoughts and against their devotional lifestyle. I believe faith can’t be forced on anyone and if it could be only distrustful will remain. Religion or faith should always be individual’s choice to accept or not. As a child one doesn’t have an idea or choice rather following their parents belief until they reach a stage of understanding and realize themselves what they want to be. Obviously I have all the rights already to choose what I want to be, but the only thing was I haven’t exhibited the transformation held within and I don’t think it’s needed anyone to know.

My Late Ayudha Pujai Celebrations

Ayudha Pujai is a south Indian festival, means worship of instruments, and is celebrated by all working people towards their occupation of tools. Ayudha Pujai had once been my favourite festival next to Deepavali and Pongal, and I always looked forward for this day (until my maternal uncle was alive) since our house was attached to my uncle’s Maruti (car) workshop. My parent’s was an inter family marriage and my dad married his sister’s daughter, so our relationship with my uncle doesn’t need an explanation and we are close enough to celebrate it as a family festival, calling close relatives, along with his co-workers the festival will go off enthusiastically.

Actually it was the night before the festival day we (me and bro) enjoy lot. Throughout the night the employs will involve in activities of cleaning the workshop, whitewashing the walls and repainting the tools and machineries. The employs were like brothers and uncles to us and a step outside the home will land into the workshop which means we often end up playing with the employees and have fun during their free times. And when a night and day is left to spend with them, how could we miss the fun in helping them and decorating the workshop to look colourful for the festival. Even our parents put us in bed forcefully, we couldn’t sleep really and mind kept thinking about going out and joining the workers but we make certain being outside till midnight or uncle warns to go to sleep.

Photos from the archives of 2007 celebration

On Ayudha Pujai, the day begin with a fresh feel looking at the workshop, free from all the greasiness and floors washed off and walls painted neatly in white with colour papers and festoons adorning  the workshop. We play songs in tape recorder to keep up the celebration mood and two big banana trees will be tied on the entrance of the workshop and all our vehicles will line up in front of the garage with flowers and sandal sprinkled on them after the water wash. The items for worship like aval pori, fruits, sweets and snacks will be bought in bundles and after puja (or worship) the items will be distributed in carry bags to workers, customers, drivers whoever attend the festival and also to nearby shops and friendly neighbours. Pori (puffed rice) is the main part of the festival, so mostly it would be a big sack to go into many carry bags and I also like watching how it take place along with fruits and snacks. Added to this a set of cloth (to be stitched as shirts and pants) was given to each employ apart a month salary as bonus.

I don’t think anyone would have given such benefits to their employs like how my uncle did.   He always cared and been generous with his co-workers, friends (whom were standing beside him when he opened the workshop) and anyone comes in need of things. I would say he has been a philanthropist throughout his growth and until he was alive; and our comfort level has risen almost because of him and the love and affect he kept on us. For anyone their father used to be their hero but I would consider him. During the festival our close relatives (whom were cousins overall) is invited and all our aunts were honour by saris and sometime we all have dinners together. As kids joining with cousins doesn’t need to say anything and its joyous occasion overall. Today we quite miss the fun and celebrations; since my uncle passed away (in 12/2001) things turned different and faced an end. 

Hi Fi (high fly)

(click pic for enlarge)

Up in the air, birds

flying aloft kindle man

to fetch wings to fly

RGB Monday

A land promoter’s colourful gateway at the outskirt of south Chennai. Picture shot during a recent outing on Sunday

Lovely Sky Watch III

Traveling from Trichy to Dindigul on NH 45 is always my favourite route to sky watch and fluffy cumulus clouds are found a lot on this stretch. Being a bare landscape for almost, the sky is wide and vastly open and against the blue skies the floating clouds turned to be a magnificent vista. The fluffy white clouds turned grey and pinkish at some places where playing light and shadow throughout the journey. While nearing Dindigul and beyond the town more grey clouds arrived at the sky and started to drizzle slowly.  And further will be shared in future post.

Vast sky with fluffy clouds (all pics can be enlarged)

A beautiful Church on Trichy - Dindigul highway 

Linking this post with Skywatch Friday