Tuesday, January 10, 2006

I like to Live

Now a days i am not blogging properly, because of my ideat Computer.

Two days back i was reading Tamil magazine Kumutham. i read the interview of a Mother, and i really worrd & little panic, why i read that. That her son was affected by Duuchin Muscular Dystrophy, she said, that every year , a organ is getting failear for her son. and doctors said that her son will live only for 10 years. why she give this interview because, she thought, any one in this world, will tell i will treat your son or anyone will announce here is the treatment DMD. This news was very shock, for me, because i also a Muscular Dystrophy no, but i have Limb Girld MD. Most people are affected by Duuchin, very rare people are affected by Limb Girld in that way i am little lucky. You know, after reading her interview, i was totaly disturbed and i was cried that night. When i read that he will live for only 10 years, i was thinking how many year will be my life time. some months back also i read in the same book, that a DMD boy was died at his age 25. Now tell, my fear is right or wrong? I like to live many year, and i too hope, but i dont know what god has writen on my head. when i see my age guys on the road, living normaly and being happy. i also like to be a normal boy and like should enjoy this world. i can live like them only in Dreams. I like every one to show the Love (anbu) on me, when they show there love, their was a doubt standing for me it is Love or Sin (pavam parthu) for my Disable

I think the Name of the boy affected my DMD name Eshwar, you know his friends are Sachine Tendulkar, Anil Kumble and Shawalk. What i pray for god is , please take me too my childhood days i have to forget this life, should become free and enjoy with kids. When i saw the small kids, shouting, laughing and Playing with there friend, i was hating my life. i was thinked for long time, can we write this in Blog or not. Now i want a person to hear my feeling, i want to drop my worry anywhere. But where can i go and talk my emotions freely. Can i talk about this to my Parents, no, i dont like to give them my weight, already they are worried about my life, that's why i share this things with you Friends. I am very sorry to tell my feelings and hurt you all. some friends tell me that day we are all here for you, you can share your emotionals with Blogs.

21 comments:

Shuuro said...

I understand how you feel. Worrying about how long we are going to live will only make life difficult. We never know when normal person without any inherited disease will die, many in this world will be dying before you do and some take up risky jobs knowing that it might cost them their life but do it for a purpose. Therefore we should try to be happy in our small life and keep ourselves occupied with interesting things to do, if that helps us to forget the pain in our life. All that matters is, whether we had any fulfilling life and not how long we lived, i know its easy said than done. Regretting your inability to fulfill your dreams like doing physical activity & playing should not be the reason to get depressed, there are always people with condition worst than yours. Professor Stephen William Hawking has incurable disease, that was likely to kill him in a few years but that didn't dissuade him from achieving what he wanted, take a look at this site: http://www.hawking.org.uk

Dubukku said...

Jeevan, while it is easy for me to say dont think emotional...I know it some times is not practical.

But all I would say is dont worry about all these. Be possitive. Be happy and enjoy your life. Dont depress yourselves with imaginative negative thoughts. Dont waste today for tomorrow. Tomorrow is just a hope for everyone including me. Ithellam freeya vittutu nalla commedy movie onnu parunga..life a enjoy pannunga divert yourself.

WA said...

Jeevan that was a heart breaking post,I have always admired your courage and I can only imagine what you must be going through and it is hard. I understand and appreciate what you mean by not being able to talk to your parents about your feelings. It is difficult, but at the same time you need to be able to express your feelings too and I suppose that is the main purpose of the blog. So do keep writing.

As Dubukku & Shuuro have said stay positive, none of us know what future holds. We can only live for now and a lot of people achieve amazing things despite all the hardships they face. Remain positive, you have been doing a great job of it so far and do continue doing so. Also you might want to read tarun's blog at tarunjacob.blogspot.com he is inspirational. Take care Jeevan and do keep writing.

TamilPonnu said...

Jeevan,

Noone can predict the future, brother.
See, I'm healthy now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring for me. Enjoy your moments/ Live life to the fullest/ Enjoy the time you spend with your family and friends/ Don't worry about the future/ As long as you focus on doing things that make you happy is all that counts. Your feelings are being heard. :) God Bless!

aruna said...

someone who knew that he will have a short life said this, " All humans plans for all the years , he thinks he'll live, but when all of a sudden when he is in his last minute of death, his mind is filled with thousands of unfinished tasks or wishes ..But I know, how long I will live, So I will make sure I complete all my wishes before I die"....He is talking about the positive side of a bad situation..

Really, I dont know what to say, I know you want to come out of this thought,but you cannot help but think about it...and your feeling, if people talk to you with love or with parithaabam is also understood..

Keep them aside, and just do every little wish you have for today....and Talk to us when you feel down!! we are here to cheer you up!!!

revatechnic said...

Jeevan, what happens will happen, and what happens will be for the good.
Please...don't think that your lifetime will be a short one.
Whatever it is, live today like tomorro will not exist. That is the truth for everyone.
I know that it isn't easy to forget about your condition, but it isn't any point always remembering it anyway illava?

Don't have to be sorry to put out your feeling here..I am glad you did. You have a great outlet here, and a group of great blogger frens.
Next time I visit Chennai, I will make it a point to visit you too.

Narayanan Venkitu said...

Jeevan, I understand how you feel. Stay positive. Its human to start worrying whenever we see things which might affect us on TV or read or hear about it.

Let's hope and wait for the world to find a cure to what you have now.!!

I strongly feel , and please request your parents to take you to a counsellor...who can talk to you and make you feel happy the way life is.!! I think it is important and is ignored by several people.

Here in the Western world we have couselling for everything. I have used it and believe me it works wonders.!!

Stay positive my boy...!

awakeningcoma said...

jeevan i hav already told forget take evryday a new and live happily. never think any thing negative.okay u will live long no doubt and my grandchildrens will also comment on ur blog .

Ferocious Killer Kat said...

jeevan I will tell u one thing.. live in today.. enjoy it.. don't think about the future or what god has planned for u.

Also I'm glad u shared your feelings with us all. You are really a brave person! Anyways stay positive and as most of others have pointed out -- live everyday to fullest.

Jeevan said...

Thanks you all for giving your Advice, sure i will forget this incidents. Just i liked to drop my feelings , thay why i wrote it here. Your comments shows the care and love u have on me. Thanks Dear Friends.

WA said...

Jeevan, after reading AC's comment I can't stop myself from wondering....AC yoda Grandchildren onnoda blog padichittu comment panradhellam seri, but I am wondering what they will think of their thatha when they read AC's rude posts :D Pera pullinga padikiraa maadhiriyaa irukku awakening coma-voda postellam LOL

Jeevan said...

angel - Hahahaha, correcta sonninga friend.:))

monu said...

you are really nice jeevan
you are so nice that you dont want to burden your parents with your worries...
i think you are so sweet in that regard
:)

people are your friends because of this wondeful nature of yours i think
:)

dont get worried.... nice people never suffer....God will take good care of you..

Be happy, enjoy your pongal
:)

F e r r a r i said...

Stay positive jeevan :-)
Surely they will come up with medicines to cure this.

Happy pongal :-)

Jeevan said...

Thanks monu and Ferrari. Welcome to my world Ferrari. The blog is a wonderful World, i am lucky to live in this world.

Christopher Williams said...

Blogging is great, I have CMD and would love to share my story/life with all of you.
http://cdubsissyman.blogspot.com/

Jeevan said...

Christopher Williams - Welcome to my Blog. yes we are here to share u r thoughts and life. sure i will check your blog.

bindhu said...

First Time here, from nanyaar's blog.

Some questions are very difficult to answer and this is one of these..But am a person who believes in this philosophy... Whatever happens ... happens for good.. and trials like these... come to the strongest who can bear this and yet give light to the world.

You might term me as philosophical and not practical.. But jeevan, believe me.. there was once a time.. when I was more close to death. The doctors gave me an ultimatum. My relatives thought that I better die than to make my parents suffer like this..This happened right when I was supposed to enjoy life. My second year of college..

But now, thats a history. That was bitter medicine for me once upon a time. But now am able to support my parents and see them happy. The very same relatives who scoffed.. come to me asking for help..And yet, am able to tell everyone whos in pain.. that if I CAN DO IT.. SO DO THEY..

Everyone is born with a purpose.. So do you. Radiate love, help people.. and discover what treasure what God has in store for you. Who knows, some day, you might guide a lotsa children born with this disability.. because you r the one who will really understand the pain!!

Good Luck!!

Jeevan said...

bindhu - Welcom bindhu, You comment giving strength to my mind. really u have crossed a high pain in u r life. why i write this, because i thought when i keep this incidents in my mind, it will realy worry my mind big. i like to throw this issue from my mind.

Balaji S Rajan said...

Jeevan,

My mother is old. Everyday she used to comment about her life, and worry about her life. One day she was worried about her life and way grumbling about how many days she may live. My son who was just 6 years old then, asked my mother not to worry and quoted that just because she is old she is not near to death and if it is so, why so many people younger to her have died in our family. I hugged my son, and kissed him for the wisdom he had. So, please do not worry about something that is going to happen in the future. Everyone born in this earth, have to die. It is good that you started thinking about death which many of them are scared to think. Think... Think... It will give you more clarity.... Then you will understand that it is only imaginative. Read more religious and philosophical books... Many have advised you in this comments section before me. Take their advise. You have got wonderful friends through blogging. Live your life to the full. Be happy and do a good thing daily. You should listen to more good lectures. Enjoy nature. Look at those birds from your window. Do they know anything about their life. Look at the creatures. Everyone is busy with their life. Plan yourself and do something creatively. You will become genius. I was watching the DVD I took in your house. You were playing keyboard. My whole family were watching it with a great surprise. My kids were proud of you. I was telling my son how you have picked it up learning by yourself without anyone's guidance. Think about it. You are talented. Do not worry about something which you do not have. I understand your feelings. But if you need to be happy, you should not worry. Have you ever thought where you were before birth... No... Everything in this world is temporary. So do not keep worrying about it. Only the present is yours. Enjoy it and live it full. Read lots of good books. It will take you to a different world. Start doing something which you have not been doing all these days. It will keep you occupied. I am happy that you conveyed your feelings through your blog. Be proud about your parents for having got you a computer. There are millions of children who do not have even that. Be happy. Do not hesitate to mail me or blog me about your worries.

Jeevan said...

Balaji - I am very very proud to have a Friend Like you. My worries are coming down, after all the Friends comment. The New house have given me many difference in my life. I should tell that, i was encouraged by this new surroundings to write my feeling in the blog. Sure i do someting good, that my mind tells. I am very Happy that ur kids like me. In tamil there is a thought, Irukaratha vachhe santhoshama valanum. Thanks Friend. I have writen another post about this today.