Tuesday, November 19, 2019

Surrounded by grief

I don’t know how to express myself first, the squeezing grief of losing a furry friend who cared and loved unconditionally for nearly 12 years of relationship, and bonding that could not define in words, an attachment invisible to eyes;  Maya, the magic wizard of our life has vanished (on Nov 16) for ever.   I realize fully and consciously that the departed had happened though I still couldn’t console myself she’s no more and I feel really sick to digest, because we hadn’t been closer with anybody like her in the decade and she was there every day in our life and part of our journeys and this separation brought a great void in us and I don’t know how to cope without her further. Though I feel better now, getting back to the regular activities which I forced myself to keep away her thoughts (temporarily) but I know it’s not possible to block her all of sudden, as I was conscious about her every move and tiny sounds, I get disturbed when I hear anything similar to… because I was the only person in our family to have spent much time with her when everyone goes out on their business, she would be on my side.
Maya and me at my uncle's woodhouse, during a family vacation
As you all know from the previous post, the treatment Maya had been undergoing couldn’t make any improvement at all and the creatinine level has elevated up to an extreme high where dialysis become impossible because of her age and weakness. She had turned half her weight as she stopped eating from the beginning of the month and the last two days to her demise was greatly troubled her. I didn’t want to narrate further about her demise and it was really a painful moment I noticed ever, even I have lost some dear ones in past, their final moments were apart from my sight and this departure is something I really want to forget to retain only the cheerful memories  and brushes  of furry. 

Maya is an unplanned arrival and was forced to stay into our lives when we have any idea about adopting a dog or any other animals as pet, slowly she become unavoidable as a trouble as well a pleasure to increase and decreases stress. We had never been harsh with anybody, and this little furry ball/doll took it as a favour, tagged her in us and secured a quicker place to immovable. We couldn’t plan anything without her that let to miss a lot of opportunities and many a time I give damn but ever thought of denying her or lack in prior and to be certain she hadn’t been away for a day in last 7 years except that one day she stayed in clinic for uterus removal.

It is very hard really to swallow the truth that she shut her doors permanently and how close we’re to depart this way… she cared and was conscious when it comes to me and I enjoyed this care and affection what I even miss from human. From the conscience I could tell, she trusted me lot than anyone else and was certain I would hurt her ever, because she mostly sleep comfort by lying head under the wheels of my wheelchair!  Hope I lived to her faith and she shares a bond that had any doubts… Maya the word I frequent has turned whisper into ears, and I understand she’s no more but the practised tongue would take time to change.


Sandi said...

My condolences, Jeevan.

George said...

I'm very sorry to hear about Maya's death. I know it is hard for you and that you miss her a very great deal. But you do have many wonderful memories to hold on to.

eileeninmd said...


I am so sorry to hear about the loss of Maya. I am sure she is resting in peace now and pain free. I have been there when I lost my Goldie Girl, loosing a pet is loosing part of the family. Prayers and hugs.

Betsy Banks Adams said...

So sorry to hear this, Jeevan. Our pets are so very special to us ---and I know how hard it is to lose one. My Duchess lived for 16 years --and losing her was so difficult. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this time.


bill burke said...

Losing a pet is lsoing a family member. I know the pain you are in eventually will fade but memories of Maya will not and will always be strong. I'm so sorry for your loss, Jeevan.

carol l mckenna said...

Oh Jeevan ~ I share your grief ~ and understand ~ It is very difficult to lose our furry person loved one ~ It hurts but Maya's spirit will be with you always ~ let your grief heal you ~ sending you lots of healing energy hugs, ~ Xxx

Happy Day to You,
A ShutterBug Explores,
aka (A Creative Harbor)

Lady Fi said...

Losing a beloved dog is heart-breaking. But later on, you will be able to look back and smile at all the good memories.

Hugs to you all!

Rose said...

I am so very sorry for your loss....they become our friends and companions and it is so hard to not have them there any more.

Nancy Chan said...

So sorry for your loss. It is never easy to accept the loss of our furry friends. Time will heal and be comforted that Maya is spared from the suffering.

L. D. said...

It is so hard to lose a pet. You can't control them leaving you and you have such an emotional bond with them. I am still missing my border collie lost last February. We have always had a dog, actually two, so not to have any makes us feel so empty. I am so sorry for your loss.

Twilight Man said...

My deepest sympathy and condolence to you & family. Please be strong bro. You have been very good and kind to your pet. It must have been very happy to live with you for so long.