Memories of Krishna Jayanthi

(I captured this art lately from a wall in my uncle's home.)

Keeping away my faith and disbelief, Krishna Jayanthi is a typical Hindu festival celebrates the birth of Lord Krishna - which falls today. Few years back I used to visit my grandma’s home on this occasion, since she celebrates the festival from her early days. Sometimes we (me & bro) put off to school on this day, showing reason that our friends in neighbor enjoying holiday, and visit our grandma’s home in evening or after return from school, incase went. After look after the tea shop along with grandpa, she would return home in evening and prepare for devotion. Those days aunt wasn’t married and its always fun being with her, and ever after marriage she used to visit on this occasion along with little kannan – my little cousin then.

On these occasion we used to see grandma to draw little foots of Kannan from the gateway in ground floor to first floor in home and she would draw those foots very beautiful and we also use to try with our little cousin’s feet, by dipping his foot on the dissolved rice flour and make him walk, but it isn’t easy to make him certain pace, so after few steps grandma would drew it with her hands. The pictures, idols and stores say that Kannan is cowherd, and hence grandpa has cows and buffalos, I thought then this was the reason why grandma celebrates this festival when mom doesn’t. There’s a kannan idol at grandma’s home and it’s one of a beautiful porcelain idol where in a shape of child kannan crawling with a hand full of butter.

On this day the idol was out off showcase and decorated by home jewels and kept on a table for worship, with brass lamps to glow at both sides. Seedai and Murukku made by grandma are kept in bowls at the table and being an ardent to the savory of seedai, I would be standing near the table, wait for the camphor to extinguish after worship to taste the seedai. Usually I don’t like butter and on this day they used to urge us to have little butter to taste, but I avoid it, thus aunt used to apply it on the mouth when I don’t expect. Once my little cousin was dressed like Kannan and he looks certainly sweet and till now that innocent face never conceal from memories and obviously it was the last time I remember I attended this festival.

There’re two types of seedai, one is salt and the other is jiggery, in these I love the jiggery seedai. The seedai is made of rice and urad dal flour, rolled like globe and dropped into the boiling oil pan and deep fried get us the tasty seedai. These days’ people buy seedai from stores and thus lose the zest of the festival and the keen tongues like us.

# Current song: Mukunda mukunda... one of my favorite from Tamil movie Dasavatharam

Mask

Wear your masks, its swine flu spreading situation!

Many schools in Chennai had given off to students for a week, as a precautious measure due to swine flu alarm and also have been advised to wear mask while visiting schools.

I wish you all take care and be cautious with the influenza.

School time

Those are pleasant moments in memories now, but it never seen to be real in my life. It’s almost an intense eternal struggle I have gone through various moments in school time. Even thought been an average student it never bothers me like the troublesome gestures I had gone through every day in my school times. While looking into the early moments of a school lately in kodaikanal for couple of days, I can’t avoid the thought of unwanted morning hour rush to school in those days. Many a times dad would drop us in school in his bike and along with mom, but they would leave me alone at the entrance of campus, since parents aren’t allowed inside. They know or not, it was something like again waking on wire until reaching my class. Till 5th std all my classes were at first floor and the intense struggle was climbing in steps and walk past the sand ground and slippery pathway, keeping every pace at cautious.

This might sound simple, but it isn’t that much while caring a fully loaded bag at back and even not. I always wanted to be earlier to school, not that I like more studying or to spare times with friends, but to go before prayer bell rings, so that I could reach my class before students rush for prayer or the way they stand in line to disturb me climbing. In days later when I struggle more to climb steps, the situation seems worst to describe and I felt such disgrace and annoyance in the way students look and ridicule passing while. It isn’t easily to climb steps twice in morning – one for keeping bags and one after prayer, until I get permission from principal to stay in class avoiding the difficulties of attending prayers. But that doesn’t make any big difference in my struggle, and thus it sustains for a year and then I was stopped going for school.

After a year break I went to another school, where I was offered with classes at ground floor and so I joined 6th. This wasn’t that much difficult for me going to school, since the students and teachers are very helpful and allowed my parents to drop and pick up from class itself. The school would begin at 8.30am and only after leaving me at school, mom and dad will go home and get ready my bro for his 9am school and then dad will lead for his 10.clock office. Being special, there’s no restriction for me, even I go late or skip Saturday classes – which I never attended, but I never take it as my advantage unless impossible. Those days, my every day caution and fear would be on ‘I should not fall down’. The hard time in all is crossing the sand ground, and wearing shoes I feel very difficult to move and mom in one hand caring my bag and helping me without falling is the distress we only know.

Mostly the class rooms would be closed till principle arrives; and thus mom would make me sat on a table and leave home. After prayer, the rooms are opened and been settled, my dear class mates will come and help me reaching our class. Like no were ever, I only get to realize what friendship means from them and sometimes the school servants will help me. I really think now what disturbs my concentration from studies is because I think more about my inevitable situation and sustain. Watching the morning activates of this school (check picture) from far away, keeps me occupying the thought about my school days and I wonder looking at those students running here and there, doing all sorts of activities like bustle bees.

From every direction the students kept flowing into the school and many in uniform and color dresses and wearing sweaters, stands together for prayer in the little space available in front of a metal sheet roof class. The students arrives even after ½ an hours school began to run, and those comes after prayer are get to scold by teachers and few are even forced to stand on knee for sometime, as usual every school does. It seems like a private school run by the nearby church and it’s up to primary class. Leaving few, many students use the shortcut routes by jumping small walls, using single foot paths and certain pace on slopes without little scare to reach the school, and it simple strikes. As soon the interval bell rings, the students come out of the class and runs here and there, catching each other and plays in the confined place. But I can’t watch the whole day episode; hence we had to move to visit other places in kodai.

The cottage we stayed had a terrace and from there the views are wonderful and thus this school was obvious from there. Except nights, I always sat on the open terrace watching the happening around the place and clouds passing on hills and our breakfasts are also on the terrace, got chance to watch the school’s activities.

Late unearthed Birthday

For me there’s nothing worthwhile like the wishes that comes from ones heart via words or gesture and I never expect things from others than a warmth wishes. I never distinguish things presented to me, on the worth of money, how big or small it was, but it’s a thing that presented to me in behalf of love. I mostly avoid saying my birthday in later days to avoid people giving me money and it’s a tradition they caught up to express there worth wishes and I don’t like it since absence of words. But no way I can’t make certain prevention from people giving me money on behalf and hurting them in some way and it’s not only the reason why I haven’t proclaim my birthday to my dear ones here and in real material. I’m so tired to say or uninterested to celebrate my birthday, doesn’t allowed me the day to be isolated.

I’m sorry, that I didn’t unearth the day I born into this universe, which felled on last Friday. Being disgust lately for no particular reason and feeling what this particular day going to bring changes into my life, I left the day to be another in a year. But people who could remember my birthday called me to wish via phone and email, and those get indication through Orkut and face book. Being remind by night my grandparents called me to wish and sweetly raised anger to not proclaim my birthday, and grandpa wished me a long and healthy life, and to make it certain grand next year when I turn to be 25. Being myself to miss almost everyone’s birthday, I’m so happy to be in some of my dear ones mind to receive wishes in various forms.

The next day my uncle regret for being missed my birthday and I argued it’s not my fault, and I unlike to go on saying it’s my birthday and get wished. But even I felt later to be moved in a strange way by not expressing my b’day to anyone and feeling regret, I sustain to the reasons that stops me from expressing. Been put into little suspense by my sweet brother Ghost Particle, I received a pretty cake from him on Saturday and surprising it was my favorite flavor – chocolate ice cake. Known or not he got me what I liked and I see it’s just a sign of understanding in our friendship. He always cares for me and uses every chance to gift me certain things as happiness and cause in understand and love. I love you bro, you’re too smart to turn my b’day somehow special and I did shared your behalf with the dear ones in my family.

I went to my uncle’s place and my native home on Sunday; to celebrate my b’day two days after its actual exist. With an intend and to resolve some distress I put on my b’day, I used this chance to deliberately visit there home, for lunch and to spent sometime. The days and memories are something often caught up with me every time I visit my native home and it was auspicious as usual and times spent on balcony is immerse itself. There were some conversations among us about the on going process around our places and with neighbors. By evening we went through a process of cake cutting and taking some pictures. Cousins are happy have me at there home after less than a year and we left home at night, and being away I miss them a lot and the home, where I lived over 20 years. Its four years since I set apart and every one of us wish to be back, but there’s no feasibility to move and unlike back I feel closer with them now.

Magical move

One evening when dark clouds began to shower suddenly, the two crows that belong to this tree for sometime now, flown from somewhere and grasped a branch of gulmohar, facing against one another under fern like leaves as shelter, interested me to capture the scene. The light blue sky and quite dark crows get me a wonderful view of silhouette, but interesting a little movement while clicking the picture makes it something special and I loved the cause it produced. I sense something charming and magical in this picture, and do tell me if you feel something?