Surrounded by grief

I don’t know how to express myself first, the squeezing grief of losing a furry friend who cared and loved unconditionally for nearly 12 years of relationship, and bonding that could not define in words, an attachment invisible to eyes;  Maya, the magic wizard of our life has vanished (on Nov 16) for ever.   I realize fully and consciously that the departed had happened though I still couldn’t console myself she’s no more and I feel really sick to digest, because we hadn’t been closer with anybody like her in the decade and she was there every day in our life and part of our journeys and this separation brought a great void in us and I don’t know how to cope without her further. Though I feel better now, getting back to the regular activities which I forced myself to keep away her thoughts (temporarily) but I know it’s not possible to block her all of sudden, as I was conscious about her every move and tiny sounds, I get disturbed when I hear anything similar to… because I was the only person in our family to have spent much time with her when everyone goes out on their business, she would be on my side.

Maya and me at my uncle's woodhouse, during a family vacation

As you all know from the previous post, the treatment Maya had been undergoing couldn’t make any improvement at all and the creatinine level has elevated up to an extreme high where dialysis become impossible because of her age and weakness. She had turned half her weight as she stopped eating from the beginning of the month and the last two days to her demise was greatly troubled her. I didn’t want to narrate further about her demise and it was really a painful moment I noticed ever, even I have lost some dear ones in past, their final moments were apart from my sight and this departure is something I really want to forget to retain only the cheerful memories  and brushes  of furry. 

Maya is an unplanned arrival and was forced to stay into our lives when we have any idea about adopting a dog or any other animals as pet, slowly she become unavoidable as a trouble as well a pleasure to increase and decreases stress. We had never been harsh with anybody, and this little furry ball/doll took it as a favour, tagged her in us and secured a quicker place to immovable. We couldn’t plan anything without her that let to miss a lot of opportunities and many a time I give damn but ever thought of denying her or lack in prior and to be certain she hadn’t been away for a day in last 7 years except that one day she stayed in clinic for uterus removal.

It is very hard really to swallow the truth that she shut her doors permanently and how close we’re to depart this way… she cared and was conscious when it comes to me and I enjoyed this care and affection what I even miss from human. From the conscience I could tell, she trusted me lot than anyone else and was certain I would hurt her ever, because she mostly sleep comfort by lying head under the wheels of my wheelchair!  Hope I lived to her faith and she shares a bond that had any doubts… Maya the word I frequent has turned whisper into ears, and I understand she’s no more but the practised tongue would take time to change.

Blush

Hide away shyly

like a sweet sixteen, shimmer

through fresh morning dew.

The attempts to see

the Japanese beauty, blush

behind plank of wood.

ps.  The flower hide in image is Japanese rose 

Upset with Maya

For past two weeks, our pet dog Maya isn’t well and it’s been a week she had ate any and vomits whatever she takes in oral.  In September she had a severe wheezing and cough and was taken for x-ray and blood test revealed fluid in lungs and a bulge heart. Later she turned normal but couldn’t say she recovered fully. The one thing that always trouble us with her is she never take medicine easily and we use to apply tricks to let her pick the medicine or hide tablets in sweets and chocolates but this time we quite failed to do it either ways which perhaps led to a serious effect and kidney fault. We consulted the .vet when she refuses to eat or ate less and then a scan was took regard the signs, which exposed a gel like substance in the gallbladder but the dog refused to take a pill  and the injections also didn’t respond well. So the vet suggested taking her for a complete exam at the government veterinary hospital in Vepery, popular for treating animals. The amount for treatment is also considerably less at the veterinary hospital compared to pvt. clinics.

Maya look so tired sitting on the sofa

Again another round of scanning and blood tests confirms kidney fault in Maya, but this time she quit eating and was forced to put on DRIP as she turned weaker. For about a week she had been taken to the vet hospital for Drips, where medicine is injected as well and a blood test would be taken next week for further treatment. We really worry about her condition and she looks so pity now and had lost much weight and lie down sadly all the time. Last night she was vomiting for every two hours and mom had to wake up all night cleaning and comforting her. Though kidney fault had identified I see the gallbladder should be responsible for preventing her eating or digest the food. But we all hope she recovers and with that hope we bear all the difficulties. Though she’s almost 12 years old we hope for the best.

Contemplating Woman!

One above the far

balanced rocks, gives shape to a

contemplate woman!

Ps. The cute balanced rock sculpture was capture at the courtyard of my uncle’s woodhouse near Kodaikanal and this was arranged by the manager of the woodhouse and cottages. I was really wondering how the rock on the top was balanced vertical but the secret was revealed within two days of my stay there. The rock was glued (with fevicol) on top of the other and it fell down when it rained heavy. The glue he used seems to stick woods so it couldn’t withstand the heavy shower and the rock slid off.  

Fireworks @ Skywatch Friday

Deepavali – the festival of lights – just passed like a blink of light and flash of an aerial firework that treat eyes for few seconds. For my cousin sister, who got married in June, this was her Thala (first) Deepavali after the marriage so she had come home with groom, following an invite by us as per the custom. Thala Deepavali is treated special for every newly married couple that follows the tradition and I could see they had good time cheering the festival of lights in pretty new cloths and spirited while bursting crackers. I wonder how she enjoyed bursting crackers what I haven’t seen in a while, as she ever showed interesting on crackers was different on that day that I could understand it’s all the magic of newly married.

I had a great night that day watching the fireworks that made the new moon sky dazzle in display of colourful fireworks. I felt the crackers sounded a bit louder at my surrounding this year than the previous and many in the neighbourhood had lit auto bombs (and loud crackers) to disturb the ear eardrums and to the unusual my cousin too created some dreadful sound despite my unlikeliness. I’m always against loud crackers and particular about the choice of fireworks I buy that emit less sound and smoke. I enjoy watching fireworks either on the sky or ground level, the emitting of light and sound and the rush of fire creates an emotion that embark to a state of different and light-heartedness. I had fun lighting sparklers, the only firework I could handle enough but I liked capturing fireworks in video and photo modes.

Collage of aerial fireworks display in different forms, shot in firework mode in camera 

I share here some fireworks that lit my sky and the images in collages were all shot from the balcony. I planned to go out during the Deepavali eve to see things happening around but couldn’t move out a bit rather taking the backstreets in wheelchair. I usually go out a day before or on Deepavali night to watch for fireworks displayed in the neighbourhood even though I had the opportunity this time something conscious prevented me.  Glad I could watch some from the balcony and shoot as well.  

Galaxies created by fireworks

Linking this post with Skywatch Friday