Yellow Cucumber

Commute of colour
callow to ripen yellow
cucumbers, shimmer! 

P.s. Image shot at Kavandapadi in Erode, during my travel to Nilgiris in 2017.

Words

Words or sword
rip me apart;
dream or dread
put me dizzy;
I woke up
to face provoke;
as I invoke
some in snore;
I sore for
wounds not visible.

Words are powerful
to ignite fire;
either it enlighten
or burn to ashes;
I face storm
when I need breeze;
gentle I move
harsh the contrary;
hurt the respond
little heart ache.

Surrounded by grief

I don’t know how to express myself first, the squeezing grief of losing a furry friend who cared and loved unconditionally for nearly 12 years of relationship, and bonding that could not define in words, an attachment invisible to eyes;  Maya, the magic wizard of our life has vanished (on Nov 16) for ever.   I realize fully and consciously that the departed had happened though I still couldn’t console myself she’s no more and I feel really sick to digest, because we hadn’t been closer with anybody like her in the decade and she was there every day in our life and part of our journeys and this separation brought a great void in us and I don’t know how to cope without her further. Though I feel better now, getting back to the regular activities which I forced myself to keep away her thoughts (temporarily) but I know it’s not possible to block her all of sudden, as I was conscious about her every move and tiny sounds, I get disturbed when I hear anything similar to… because I was the only person in our family to have spent much time with her when everyone goes out on their business, she would be on my side.

Maya and me at my uncle's woodhouse, during a family vacation

As you all know from the previous post, the treatment Maya had been undergoing couldn’t make any improvement at all and the creatinine level has elevated up to an extreme high where dialysis become impossible because of her age and weakness. She had turned half her weight as she stopped eating from the beginning of the month and the last two days to her demise was greatly troubled her. I didn’t want to narrate further about her demise and it was really a painful moment I noticed ever, even I have lost some dear ones in past, their final moments were apart from my sight and this departure is something I really want to forget to retain only the cheerful memories  and brushes  of furry. 

Maya is an unplanned arrival and was forced to stay into our lives when we have any idea about adopting a dog or any other animals as pet, slowly she become unavoidable as a trouble as well a pleasure to increase and decreases stress. We had never been harsh with anybody, and this little furry ball/doll took it as a favour, tagged her in us and secured a quicker place to immovable. We couldn’t plan anything without her that let to miss a lot of opportunities and many a time I give damn but ever thought of denying her or lack in prior and to be certain she hadn’t been away for a day in last 7 years except that one day she stayed in clinic for uterus removal.

It is very hard really to swallow the truth that she shut her doors permanently and how close we’re to depart this way… she cared and was conscious when it comes to me and I enjoyed this care and affection what I even miss from human. From the conscience I could tell, she trusted me lot than anyone else and was certain I would hurt her ever, because she mostly sleep comfort by lying head under the wheels of my wheelchair!  Hope I lived to her faith and she shares a bond that had any doubts… Maya the word I frequent has turned whisper into ears, and I understand she’s no more but the practised tongue would take time to change.

Blush

Hide away shyly

like a sweet sixteen, shimmer

through fresh morning dew.

The attempts to see

the Japanese beauty, blush

behind plank of wood.

ps.  The flower hide in image is Japanese rose 

Upset with Maya

For past two weeks, our pet dog Maya isn’t well and it’s been a week she had ate any and vomits whatever she takes in oral.  In September she had a severe wheezing and cough and was taken for x-ray and blood test revealed fluid in lungs and a bulge heart. Later she turned normal but couldn’t say she recovered fully. The one thing that always trouble us with her is she never take medicine easily and we use to apply tricks to let her pick the medicine or hide tablets in sweets and chocolates but this time we quite failed to do it either ways which perhaps led to a serious effect and kidney fault. We consulted the .vet when she refuses to eat or ate less and then a scan was took regard the signs, which exposed a gel like substance in the gallbladder but the dog refused to take a pill  and the injections also didn’t respond well. So the vet suggested taking her for a complete exam at the government veterinary hospital in Vepery, popular for treating animals. The amount for treatment is also considerably less at the veterinary hospital compared to pvt. clinics.

Maya look so tired sitting on the sofa

Again another round of scanning and blood tests confirms kidney fault in Maya, but this time she quit eating and was forced to put on DRIP as she turned weaker. For about a week she had been taken to the vet hospital for Drips, where medicine is injected as well and a blood test would be taken next week for further treatment. We really worry about her condition and she looks so pity now and had lost much weight and lie down sadly all the time. Last night she was vomiting for every two hours and mom had to wake up all night cleaning and comforting her. Though kidney fault had identified I see the gallbladder should be responsible for preventing her eating or digest the food. But we all hope she recovers and with that hope we bear all the difficulties. Though she’s almost 12 years old we hope for the best.