Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Inadequate to sustain

Life is like walking on a wire and its tough balancing without falling down either. Alike, my life could be easily compared with those walking on a string to adequate there life partly. Many a time I have seen in amuse at people waking on a string that tied between two sticks on road sides, but never realized it like lately when I face something similarly on surface to sustain pace. I’m trying my best to do better performance at paces but I’m inadequate with energy and strength to put few more steps, and what I like to express can’t be understood by anyone and my conflict is nothing concern them. I know I’m not to expect to address my conflict often and it might irritate anyone, thus my problem is unnoticed or unconcerned. I’m not looking for sympathy, but I need my anxious to be addressed and I’m not a human to sustain constant at anyone’s instant.

There’re people who suffers more than myself in this world, but still I’m a normal being to think my trouble is the precious. Gradually I sense my world is shrinking and I’m trying to expand it deliberately, but none know what’s happening with me and still keeps thinking in belief that I’m constant and sustain forever. I can’t even tear drops and just don’t want to say something to make someone feel emphasis, reflects myself in stress. I could sense a lot of difference and difficult in my every activity lately, but I can’t do anything to keep sustain except my exercise, since the disorder was such essence, I solace myself to accept whatever comes my way and I still believe to live my life’s full phase. You know I love a lot to live and even thought I sense sometime selfish, I think why I should feel when my self wasn’t good and it was humans right to live to make significant the birth.

To say certainly, my blog world isn’t set apart from this inadequate sustain and therefore I can’t be alike before here. Right moment both my reading and writing(typing) became slow and continuing so, takes much time to adequate either and at same time every other activity instantly struggle, I work hard a lot to keep in touch with every other sustain. Its not long back that I would finish a book less than 5-6 month, to the maximum pages of 600, but these days its impossible and I was interested in reading to extend my existence, and it faces hard time these days, but still I hope to adequate and keep it constant beyond disbelief. There’re few things that sustain me, hence reading and writing occupies me more.

Ones I used to type well and it helped me to work with a publication and for some reason I dropped doing it. Later when the publication contacted me again and even some other offers comes my way, I wasn’t able to replay thus I’m not sustain the way I was then and lately I sense more diminish. I just need no sympathy here or wherever, but my struggle has to be addressed and my position to be recognized for being inconstant, and if not here where am I going express my sense and desire. These days I really think those alike me had to be brought to worlds view and thus people could obvious us, and what we live is no mans imagination and we aren’t the normal disables. We’re coved by dark shadows and only profound torches of thoughts and emotions could find us where many bright hearts and thoughts shine in between struggle. Will the world listen to us and recognize, when our dear and near ones can’t?

16 comments:

Devika said...

Will the world listen to us and recognize, when our dear and near ones can’t?

Do you truly expect??

This blogging could at best be a time pass, Jeevan...

Laugh, make others laugh --this will be a wonderful place....Your pains keep it private...atleast thats what my one year of blogging experience taught me...

But ofcourse -- with four years of experience you could be well versed with the rules here....

I sincerely wish & and am quite sure you will have your friends coming now to keep up your spirits

Life becomes complicated if you think about it too much..leave it to time, live the moment in front of you to the fullest,

best wishes,
devika

Kavi said...

My friend, i am going to speak from my heart. As i have done with you always.

And as i have done before, i want to say a big thank you to all that you do. In your doing, all what you do, including keeping the blog going, you are making a tremendous difference to people across the world.

There are those that discuss about you. That you are not aware of. You are an inspiration to people like me and other members of my family.

NOT OUT OF SYMPATHY. But because you show us what is possible if the spirit stays alive. And the zest for making a difference stays on.

And your family understands what you are going through. I am sure they do. Everybody and every situation is different.

While i understand the frustration of not being able to finish the book or the post, and how yesterday some how seems to have been better.....do remember that there is a world of people wishing you well, and standing by. Immaterial of the number of pages done or the time taken. Very happy with the fact that you are soaking in each moment !

Send me your phone number on kavis.musings@gmail.com. Will call you up sometime.

Jeeves said...

All I can say is take care. These ups and downs will come. You have been strong and be so....

Rakesh Vanamali said...

Life is an ongoing process Jeevan, something that throws up many situations for us to learn from!

Cheers!

Ghost Particle said...

nanba, in this life and many after, everything will be yours to live. we will be here for you.

god is listening, there will be a positive outcome. keep strong, live strong.

hugs and love.

Anya said...

Jeevan..
The more you immerse
into positive thinking,
the easier it becomes
to acquire positive thinking
as one of your positive habits.
Think positive Jeevan,
its the best for us all :)
I have also my ups & downs ;(

Priya said...

As said by all stay positive and live your life. You shud motivate yourself to creativity and keep yourself busy including blogs.

Nothing comes easy coz we shud strive for it.

Ash said...

Life is a box of chocolates. Sometimes you get the cream, sometimes you get the nuts!

Resonator said...

Dear brother..u r awarded..chk my blog

happy blogging
Prema

Resonator said...

Dear brother..u r awarded..chk my blog

happy blogging
Prema

Jeevan said...

Devika – yes sometime I expect and I think expectation is normal. Somewhat I could convey myself to not expect other but I can’t be and I’m always expected and depended on others. No way.
Of course, I have been here for long time and what my blog buddies inspires me is to express whatever I feel. For the world, blogging could be a pass time or entertainment, but for me it helps to survive and I see it as a part of my life, and even thought its virtual the people exist behind is true. I have come across many bloggers, but everyone doesn’t remain here and only those interested in friends remains and even few stopped blogging years back still being my friends and connected.
I consider your thoughts and I’m not a person to write about my stress and pain often, since I don’t think about my stage seriously and I accepted, but whenever my anxious increase and find harder the life I just express it here and I believe like friends no one could understand us well.


Kavi – Very true buddy, every person and moments aren’t same and my family supports me indeed and most of the time it’s my parents, and how much could they bear? Like all of you say, I too believe it’s my spirit that spring my life and everyone supports me, though the will to survive is in me and I brought it more from here (blogging).

I should also say that I have come this much to express my emotions is because of you peoples influence and interest visit my blog. I didn’t worry more about reading book, since I keep on reading something and learing new every moment, because of my interest on reading. Thanks so much friend. Hugs


Jeeves – Thanks for your support. My life is just kept slanting and I hardly stand without flat sustain.

Rakesh – Thanks bro. whatever we learn, some situations can’t be handle without physical strength. Cheers!

GP – bro, I get strong support from you always and I share hope with u. Thanks for you wishes. I sense my emotions and thoughts that make certain dump sometime are cleared by expressing and constant behalf from certain friends.

Anya – I think positive thoughts happens only by sweeping out negative thoughts and for that I have to express it out and that’s what I did it here. I feel the negative thoughts hide somewhere in me exist out for good to clear certain thoughts and to let know others my situation. First it’s not about ups and downs, its different expression on constant slating.

You can check the following link to know from what I’m suffering from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muscular_dystrophy


Priya – Thank you and I hope somehow to continue to do so.

Ash – Thank you, I’m trying to live with whatever comes my way.

Babli said...

Very nicely written.Whatever obstacle may come but we should face it boldly and that is called life.It is an ongoing process and can never ever think to stop it.

Bhavesh Chhatbar said...

The title photo is beautiful. Is it a place in Chennai?

Slow and Beautiful — Snail

karim said...

Very thoughtfull post on positivethinking. It should be very much helpfull.

Thanks,
Karim - Positive thinking

Anonymous said...

Very Interesting!
Thank You!

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