How long should I pretend to be happy?
To smile, while I actually couldn’t
Just like the smiley yellow ball - stress reliever
I was squeezed to smile.
While I pass through various emotions
The heart hurts the most, to break up
Despite creamy layers of joy or love try to forget
The scars remind me of the same.
And I tried to keep emotions at bay
But like a gale, I was pushed ashore
To pause and pursuit the same
To, lash repeatedly into the shore.
In the silence of the afternoon
a squirrel screeched from the bushes
neither signaling its mate nor scared of prey
went silent later, as if it ended either way.
Rolling of the brass cuboid dice
the metal sounds from another side
slide me down the memory lane, like fall colors
memories of a cheerful period fall back.
A flock of birds in the background babble
indicates the return of the yellow-billed babblers
the crazy noisy guys, who always hangout to ground
kept me from joining, as I lifted to the first floor.
A sound of the saw at a distance
came distracting me as rooster began its crow
the day reached its edge and a sip of tea
lighter the evening, as the sun, drops its glow.
Months after its migration
The shadow over the balcony deviated
To give way to sunlight
Though I miss the cool shadow
I cherished through the summer
My body badly needs some sunlight
To supply with its nutrient
The sunlight becomes mandatory
Igniting some senses to upbeat
As I venture into the sunlight
The illumination of the sun
Is bright enough to light up the
living room
While the daylight dims earlier.
In her usual way of silence
Though she sings for,
Only solos could be heard
Becomes a mood changer
While I fight the invisible
That tries to pull me down
In the usual way, it was
Altered my night, to quiet and pleasant
As she’s a wonder and to be not
Her magnificent white
Always remains an angel in my world
For me to believe in a force
Like men attracted to women
And women for the same
The Moon remains an illusion
To illuminate the night
The heart longs for.
I got an opportunity or I agreed to take a short distance ride on Sunday, after so long days of not coming out of home – for nearly seven months I held myself inside the home, other than looking out from the balcony. Glad we moved here, to our native house, a year and a half early to the pandemic starts so I have this benefit of watching from the balcony what is not possible in our previous house in backstreet with least activities on road. Lockdown days were quiet and pleasant here, but the relaxations lately made it very noisy. Back to Sunday, we accompanied our extended family for a temple visit in our ancestral town Mamallapuram, as per our family tradition, visiting this goddess temple has been made mandatory when a marriage is fixed.
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| The busy ECR on Sunday in the shadow of trees. This is part of road beyond Mamallapuram towards Pondicherry. |
Yes, my brother’s engagement is fixed
at the end of this month and so was this visit. I’m not a believer in god exist
but I still accompany my family to temples as long it takes me out or
traveling. We hit the east coast road (ECR) early morning but the ride wasn’t
fun and comforting as well, as I had to wear a mask all the time even though I
pull down to chin often it lacks freeness. I now understand how difficult it
must be for those who go to work, wearing the mask all the time and while I
couldn’t sit freely, I wonder how tough it is to do tasks with masks!
I couldn’t see any great changes on ECR other than closed
amusement parks and tourism and entertaining hubs but the traffic was unusual for the time
6.30 in morning. I saw many cycle riders on the ECR, enjoying the cool morning
weather, while quietly pedalling on the left side of the road unlike a lot on motorbikes
vrooming and terrifying the other bike/car riders. We extended our ride another 25km from Mamallapuram to visit another
family deity temple. Due to the pandemic and lockdown the government has
restricted any rituals, so my family simply visited and worshiped the deities
in the temples.
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| One of the temple is located amid palm trees and farm lands, a km away from ECR main road |
I sat in our SUV quite after a year
gap, because only last October we left the car for interior tinkering and
painting which was delivered only a week early to lockdown in March so I didn’t
had any chance to travel or sit in the car. My trip to Amirthi Zoological Park (Vellore)
in February happened in my uncle’s car and it’s the only trip I had this year
where I drove for a 150 kms. My travel to Mamallapuram on Sunday was a half day
trip and our breakfast was brought from a relative’s house there and we
returned home by noon for lunch. It was good to travel even it was for a short
distance of 70 km but for a travel enthusiastic this gives a bit joy and I hope
the pandemic is over soon so that I travel every length.
