Inadequate to sustain

Life is like walking on a wire and its tough balancing without falling down either. Alike, my life could be easily compared with those walking on a string to adequate there life partly. Many a time I have seen in amuse at people waking on a string that tied between two sticks on road sides, but never realized it like lately when I face something similarly on surface to sustain pace. I’m trying my best to do better performance at paces but I’m inadequate with energy and strength to put few more steps, and what I like to express can’t be understood by anyone and my conflict is nothing concern them. I know I’m not to expect to address my conflict often and it might irritate anyone, thus my problem is unnoticed or unconcerned. I’m not looking for sympathy, but I need my anxious to be addressed and I’m not a human to sustain constant at anyone’s instant.

There’re people who suffers more than myself in this world, but still I’m a normal being to think my trouble is the precious. Gradually I sense my world is shrinking and I’m trying to expand it deliberately, but none know what’s happening with me and still keeps thinking in belief that I’m constant and sustain forever. I can’t even tear drops and just don’t want to say something to make someone feel emphasis, reflects myself in stress. I could sense a lot of difference and difficult in my every activity lately, but I can’t do anything to keep sustain except my exercise, since the disorder was such essence, I solace myself to accept whatever comes my way and I still believe to live my life’s full phase. You know I love a lot to live and even thought I sense sometime selfish, I think why I should feel when my self wasn’t good and it was humans right to live to make significant the birth.

To say certainly, my blog world isn’t set apart from this inadequate sustain and therefore I can’t be alike before here. Right moment both my reading and writing(typing) became slow and continuing so, takes much time to adequate either and at same time every other activity instantly struggle, I work hard a lot to keep in touch with every other sustain. Its not long back that I would finish a book less than 5-6 month, to the maximum pages of 600, but these days its impossible and I was interested in reading to extend my existence, and it faces hard time these days, but still I hope to adequate and keep it constant beyond disbelief. There’re few things that sustain me, hence reading and writing occupies me more.

Ones I used to type well and it helped me to work with a publication and for some reason I dropped doing it. Later when the publication contacted me again and even some other offers comes my way, I wasn’t able to replay thus I’m not sustain the way I was then and lately I sense more diminish. I just need no sympathy here or wherever, but my struggle has to be addressed and my position to be recognized for being inconstant, and if not here where am I going express my sense and desire. These days I really think those alike me had to be brought to worlds view and thus people could obvious us, and what we live is no mans imagination and we aren’t the normal disables. We’re coved by dark shadows and only profound torches of thoughts and emotions could find us where many bright hearts and thoughts shine in between struggle. Will the world listen to us and recognize, when our dear and near ones can’t?

Shikara

Alike a typical boat that gently floats on the Dal Lake of Kashmir. The culture symbol of Kashmir is now adorning the Kodai Lake. Many of us, who can’t makeup to Kashmir and dream alike sailing in Shikara on Dal Lake, would perhaps get a chance to enjoy it likely on the Kodai Lake. And I liked to call the lake as Dal of Kodaikanal.

One pleasant evening, I come around the bank of Kodai Lake to see a Shikara sailing close to bank with a couple inside. It was moving and seems like there aren’t many boat of this type on the lake and like ever seen before, I thought to capture it without delay. So I took the cam and clicked. But it unexpectedly thrown flash on the boat and the couple inside gazed in surprise disturbed the moment, but still I don’t want to miss the chance clicking at the boat, hence the flashed one isn’t clear. I just came down to manual and clicked again, leaving away hesitate and still stared by either.

Leaving away the couple in clam, the rower sits at the edge of the boat and rows with an oar and leg down touching the cold lake water. The oars used in shikaras are shaped in a unique spade bottom! A usual shikara seats half-a-dozen people with rower sitting at the lower end, are still used for fishing, harvesting aquatic vegetation and transport to the deeper parts of Dal Lake. Mostly covered by tarpaulins, protect tourist from sudden shower and also remain as floating homes to poor people. Shikaras are the main tourist attraction to Kashmir’s Dal Lake and interestingly it seems shikaras are available only in Kodai Lake outside Kashmir.

Coaker’s walk and Pillar rock!

I’m swing in bliss, because its mist.

For everyone kodaikanal mean something and for me it’s totally mist, and lately the beautiful lake. One morning I went on wheels through Coaker's walk and it was completely covered in mist in a disappointing way to everyone in getting views, but I really enjoyed a lot like on one and leisurely moved with cold mist. Entering either way, the small tea stall at entrance greeted me with memories of having cuppa at couple of times in past, the taste and warmth comes to sits at my tongue. Further moving into the path way that goes along the edge of mountain and half a km in distance, it was quite bliss with cold breeze and mist like ever sensed before.

Along the way there’re countable pavement shops selling fury toys, wooden decorative items and photos adding on cups… but nothing interest me like mist, except few wooden cars in a shop and baked peanuts.

Coaker’s walk always interest me at leisure and passing through this lane is simple pleasure and unvaried sill. The panoramic view of beautiful valley, with clouds floating sometime, to far away towns, lakes and hills are indeed splendid on a cloudless day and it’s a view point unlike others almost covered in mist. Telescope tower at one end of the path gives a chance to see far away places at close distance, but I wonder why do people pay and look through the lens when white screen confined there views in mist. The flowers grown beneath the slopes in red and yellow are very pretty to see, including the hanging flowers in white and pink at one end. The Coaker deriving its name from Lt. Coaker, who discover this footpath in 1872 and drew map to kodaikanal, cleared my query at last.

After wander at Coaker’s walk our next stop was at Pillar rocks. At 400 feet height, three rocks stand proximately is one of nature’s wonderful formations. The chamber between the pillars is known as devil’s kitchen – a hallow cave, also known as guna cave. The pillars are often covered by mist and as usual the clouds played hind and seek with us leaving little space to cover the splendid. But what disappointed me a lot was the situation of pillar rocks lately, with many shops shifting the place completely leaving behind a hard sign and sight of pillars. I see how people are such follies to turn over the significant of this place, and I just wanted to ask those shop owners, do we came over here to see the arrangements of your shops blocking the pillar rocks?

Kodaikanal, being one of the important tourist place in country, it’s damn what the government is doing than cleaning these encroachments. I would say princess of hills losing her beauty to encroachments of buildings and shops, and ones the pristine beauty is polluted now somehow.

Eclipse mania

Today was total solar eclipse and we all know it’s a general occurrence by nature, even yearly we have eclipse this time it was a rare event that last the longest of 21st century. This doesn’t make me awe and as usual we expected the sight was blocked by clouds, and what really made it special was the total eclipse almost across India. But what I like to say about was belief. In whatever manner the scientific knowledge and understanding grows, but still people believe that moon hide the sun on eclipse and reflect its shadow on earth is devil caught up with evil. Eclipse might be believed or described as bad omen in earlier times when science wasn’t understood, but even after many years of man landed on moon and well aware about universe, few people still believe in things that has no meaning and existence.

I just wonder in disbelief at one of my cousin’s act upon eclipse and what she did in name of belief. She ate a day before eclipse, by 6pm in evening and went on fast till midday. I have heard people saying in past that eating anything at the period of eclipse won’t digest, but what she did is simply foolish and being educated. I know education and belief are something distinct and I like to see sense and knowledge on both. Then, there go the astrologists making certain promise that something gonna happen to earth on the time of eclipse occur and possibility of earthquake or tsunami. But I’m not sure those astrologists truly know what tsunami means before the December 26th incident? We know the earth stability is because of some gravity force from sun and when moon come across, a question could rise on the changes of substance, but obviously there haven’t been any incident happen so far on eclipses.

There’re times people have been saying and following the tradition of taking bath after eclipse are over. As a child I have also conveyed the same by my parents and those days we never ask why and just follow what parents say. I have heard mom saying that people also wash there homes and drop whatever is left to feed and cook newly dish after eclipse, and we were never allowed to go out in times of eclipse. I feel it’s simply offensive to follow these and I see in disbelief people used to practice it deliberately. Don’t we realize to change ourselves with what we got in knowledge? And if we don’t want to turn the illusion, then why do we need to learn new things to develop our sense and knowledge? And the important thing of learning is to drive folly.

#(pic courtesy: Google images, a total solar eclipse seen from Varanasi in india, july 22, 2009.)

On grandma's memory

Sunday marked my great grandmother’s first Memorial Day, and at home there was an oblation to mark the day and except dad, who reminded by her last moment at hospital was most strike me, but I couldn’t sense anything great more about my grandma on this day and I hardly come across by her thoughts. That’s nothing mean she isn’t so special to me to remember, but when did I forget or miss her to remember. Though I feel her disappearance was only in physical, and mind really stable at sustain that she lives somewhere and connected forever. Few people asked me did your grandma come on your dream and I said no, and it was not in my wish or right what dreams should exists.

She was the most caring person in the world towards me and no grandma is exception to this emotion. Even she was old, she was my good companion on times being alone and no one at home, in case of unavoidable circumstance. Recently I remind her more and felt bad being missed, leaving away whatever I feel sustain about her through mind. There’re moments fragile between us or anyone at home, but it never last more and simple words are enough to cool her and she always want someone to care for her and being enquired often, to get replayed the most not bad. We can’t accept the instant depart of someone lives throughout our lives and there was no sustain feeling of being missed unless deep sense.

She wished to travel and see few places at catching distance; including the one was MGR grave in Marina beach. Thinking her health condition we don’t take her out often and it was still the hurting thing that we can’t even fulfill her little wishes and dad really worry saying this sometime we move around. To my memory, the last time we took her out was to her native village few months before her depart and surprisingly we made a visit to her village on the same month this year brought back those memories. She was an adherent fan of Chief Minister Karunanithi and believed whatever he do is good for people, and she also openly supports his part and gets argued with us. She loves comedy and her favorite ones are Vadivelu comedies; and if she sees him on screen, she sit back and enjoy, and also scold us sometime if we turn channel or disturb her views. She is so much attached to our lives, and it’s hard to believe she is departed and would be remembered not alone on a specific day or moment.