Dad is doing well after the stenting and no breathing difficulties anymore but he’s
continues to stay in rest for few more weeks to get back to his regular
activities. Thought it feel everything is normal I couldn’t take it easy with
my life. I don’t know how to describe or put it in words the pressure I go
through internal and it has no business with dad’s health and he’s alright.
Like all, I dislike certain things or want to maintain a distance from people
whose activities I don’t like or not suit my lifestyle which including my
parents. But now life forced me to walk through those which I don’t know is how
to unveil. Sometime people are fair and kind, and at next moment breakdown
everything to make feel disdain and bad and we can’t blame them for that if
that could be their nature, I would stay away, but when it bothers were just
going behind them in sake of life. It’s a struggle purely to answer the
conscience when accepting assistance physically and mentally couldn’t go
through the all. I never thought life would shrink all of sudden when I wasn’t
ready or even read the book of my future tense. I know I need to handle this
really and I was in the process of planning my future and executing in bits
manner but this huge skip is unexpected. This is my second huge leap after the
femur fracture in 2013 that put me years ahead into the future, what I have
dreamt was only average.
As I have told in my earlier
posts, I, mom and dad were like a cycle where any part of the wheel gets an
affect the entire cycle will face the challenge. So far I haven’t been to
expect somebody to aid me on everyday activities and nature calls, rather
occasional; my parents continues to be my saver to drive me all this while and
I’m certain they will do it until we’re alive, but I do know I’m in need to
look after by someone when they can’t physically support me. Though I know well
I need to adjust with life and accept the changes and I too believe this isn’t
permanent and I need to find a way if things haven’t change for better. I’m
someone who couldn’t stand with people who easily change their mind-set and
belief from time to time and draw a rule that frequently turn on and off. It may
sound weird but sometime need to believe such people do exists and dealing with
them is not easier. It isn’t a problem when taking things physically challenged,
but I’m not an insane to feel about anything or insensible to the atrocities
happening around me. Perhaps if I was a normal being I could have easily skipped
or try to turn down or better, but being a dependent I’m limited and was forced
to take things at teeth bite. I don’t know could you understand what I say, but
still no problem at least I able to express something here and let you know
something disturbing me lot.
