Blog, Blogger, Carrom and Kavin!

First and foremost, I'd like to thank everyone for your comments, suggestions, and concern for my emotional well-being in the previous post. It gives me a boost and energy to do something outside my regular activities, which keeps me continually occupied and ensures that I never have a dull moment or allow the dreary weather to cloud my cheery mood. I'm always an upbeat person who tries to grin even when things are unpleasant; even when things are tough, I keep an ear open for tiny notes of birds or other critters tapping around. 

Someone suggested I play Carrom, which was my childhood favorite. 

"Carrom is an Indian tabletop game that is immensely popular in the Indian subcontinent. It is widely played by families, including children, and at social occasions, with varying standards and rules in different places."

Most of our summer vacations were spent playing carrom (along with other games), and when our cousins visited home, we played carrom, but I don't remember touching the striker in the last ten years. I quit playing carrom when my cousins lost interest (because I can't play the game on my own), and I even lost my carrom board in a 2015 torrential downpour.

I have always wanted to play carrom, but my fingers have either stopped cooperating, or I lost the power to hit the striker afterward. My memories of carrom were always refreshing, and I could close my eyes and return to those treasured memories. I also used to stand and play carrom while wearing caliper shoes. 

Me and my cousins playing carrom from 2009.

My carrom board, which was 20 years old when I lost it, has always had a special place in my heart. My late maternal uncle bought us the carrom board in 1994 or 1995, and I took good care of it, even telling my cousins (born after 1995) that this carrom board is like your older brother so they wouldn't damage it. 

Everyone in our families adored our uncle, so you can tell how special he was. He was a philanthropist, not only financially, but his hard work had earned him great value and respect in the eyes of others. So how could I throw away something that remained as a memory of him, and I had only saved a few things that were also stored away in the loft? I could feel his thoughts were settled in the bottom of the memories like sediments underwater that never resurface until something triggered them.

My blog is significant in my life because it allows me to openly share my sadness, joy, and discomfort with life, which I have done for the past 17 years. Nobody supports me as much as you, bloggers, and friends, and your comments meant so much to me. In contrast to other social media today, where people only like and rarely share thoughts, I find your comment communicates with me individually. 

The hurting has never been a new occurrence in my life, and when it overflows, it bursts here in the expression of thoughts, but lately, I have discovered a delight in life. Kavin! 

My nephew Kavin lightens the mood, and I can't think of anything else in his company, and in his embrace, I am lifted to my emotional core since I haven't felt this way in a long time. I couldn't put it into words; when he hugs and kisses me, it's like the bliss of having accomplished something so pure, innocent, and beautiful that it will never be the same again.

It's something I've realized as he's been away from me for a while now; even though his absence was brief since he was visiting his maternal grandma, I feel the void intensely, but when I think of him, it feels unspecified. Though my nephew Jeswanth (my cousin's sister's boy) was the first to give me that emotion after a long time, Kavin, who is only six months younger than him, inspires me more because we live together in a household, and Jeswanth comes and goes from his house. 

Nothing but a little regret!

It was a tunnel called the parental, and there was no light beyond it. No one knows much about me other than a concern, or I don't know that I haven't shown much of myself to anyone curious about the person I am or me. 

Aside from the primary feeling that life will be unbearably difficult without my parents, I worry about how understanding the people around me are. I don't travel far, but within my home and the extended family, beyond my mother and father, there is no awareness of me. 

People see me in my wheelchair all day, but I wonder what they think of me when I'm not sitting in a wheelchair.  Life isn't pleasant sitting in a wheelchair all day, but it is comfort compared to other obstacles such as attending nature calls, bathing, eating, sleeping, and other essential daily demands. I'm just thankful I have an electric wheelchair to get around on my own; otherwise, life would be difficult and timid. 

I just realized that, aside from my parents, the people around me don't know how to handle me unless I guide them. Still, the important thing is that they lack patience (which is a risk factor when dealing with me), and despite living nearby and seeing me daily, they lack the basic knowledge to assist me. They help us simply because we call them, rather than acting in their self-interest.

I was recently emotionally injured, albeit not directly affected, and I am positive it was related to my issue. I often felt like causing problems for someone because of how they behaved or acted hastily. 

It's a blessing and a curse at the same time that I can read the expressions on my loved ones' faces, perhaps because I notice details; even little changes don't escape my attention; the tone and, most of the time, their eyes reveal their intent while their lips go mute or overtalk. 

It all started in 2019 when my father had an angioplasty and stents placed. He had been cautioned not to lift weights, so he no longer lifted me for any position-changing activities. Since then, my brother and cousin have been assisting me with this, and we have only lately employed an assistant to help my parents place me in the bath and toilet. 

We had an assistant at the beginning of 2019, but he only came for one day; when he lifted me, I tore a ligament in my shoulder. We didn't look for anyone after that, but now that I couldn't bear the hardships we caused them, or at least lessen the burden, we seriously looked for a caretaker and got a nice guy through my physiotherapist. He works as an assistant radiologist in an ortho clinic, taking x-rays, and he agreed to assist me on the side.

Everything is going smoothly till now, and my heart also feels light that I won't bother my loved ones too much. Although I know they don't deny helping me at any time when we call, and I want to emphasize "just when we call," they are aware of how much I rely on them, but until we call, they don't reply or ask on their own and sometimes have to compel when they are out somewhere. It's difficult to do justice because they aren't obligated to answer, but I'm grateful for the unconditional help, which is impossible if they don't love me.   And I'm glad that, despite their apathy, they continue to help me, even though I'm upset that they do so without knowing anything about how things work for me!  

Palavakkam Beach and Skywatch!

It had been a long time since I visited Palavakkam Beach in ECR, which I frequented once. When we were staying in our apartment flat in Thiruvanmiyur, I visited Palavakkam Beach and spent a lot of time lost in thought; whenever I felt like visiting the beach, I would go there, and it was the quietest beach with fewer people at the time.

Although Thiruvanmiyur Beach, also known as Thiruvalluvar Nagar Beach, was close to us then, I preferred Palavakkam Beach for its quiet, private atmosphere. When we shifted to Kottivakkam, we got very close to the beach, but I didn't go as often as I would like when we stayed in Thiruvanmiyur, and subsequent house moves increased the distance. 

Palavakkam Beach, now the fourth most significant beach in Chennai after Marina, Elliots, and Thiruvanmiyur has recently gained popularity. I had only gone to Palavakkam Beach a couple of times in the previous five years, and it wasn't the same with merchants, and the crowds had increased. 

I spent much time alone when my father left me in the car to go for a walk on the beach, and I was inspired to write poems and study things happening around me. I enjoyed the Palavakkam beach for two reasons: the stunning sunset and the moon rising over the sea, casting a silvery shadow. I went to the beach on three consecutive full moon evenings with moonrise, and the couples sitting on the sand occasionally slipped under its shadow, which I photographed a few times. 

I went to Palavakkam Beach the day before Deepavali (anticipated seeing some fireworks - but only deception remains), which greeted me with nostalgic memories of moments spent there and with loved ones; the heart longs for those times, which appear like a distant shore in the sea that is unreachable. The sky, and beach photos, you see here were shot on the same day. 

Linking this post with Skywatch Friday

Deepavali 2022 Celebration

Deepavali this year (Oct 24) was good, and I had nothing to do but watch the night shower of colorful fireworks that rocked the sky from all sides; however, I could only see the fireworks from the balcony that meets south. The day didn't feel any different to me, and as usual, the television shows were unwatchable, and I couldn't recall doing anything else with my time.

After five years, my uncle (my grandmother's sister's son) chose to spend Deepavali with us. I last celebrated Deepavali with him in 2017, and I wasn't expecting him to come, but it was a pleasant surprise, and he assisted me in lighting the fireworks I had purchased. Unlike others, we do not ignite Dias (lamps); of course, it is the festival of lights, where the rows of lamps adorn the houses; we used to do the same for Karthigai Deepam rather than Deepavali.

Nephew Kavin enjoys holding sparkler fireworks

So far as I recall, we only ignite fireworks in the evening, and the sound of crackers, despite its discomfort and animal hatred, has something to raise the festive spirit. I oppose sound and hence do not purchase sound crackers, but the sky shots emit sound, which is inevitable. I buy fireworks every year because I enjoy seeing them produce light and colors; I don't believe there is any link between fireworks and the festival of lights; it's the only time fireworks are accessible and burst, and most of us do the same. 

This Deepavali is also the time in five years that I went out on the day before Deepavali and visited one of my favorite beaches, Palavakkam Beach, with my uncle. Usually, I go out a day earlier to observe how things are going around the festival of lights, and seeing festival lights around gives me some self-enthusiasm. When it comes to festivals, no one in my family circle is as enthusiastic as I am, and I can't make anyone else feel the same way; at the very least, I celebrate myself with things going on around me. 

Following is a series of sky shots from the balcony:

Kavin's 1st Birthday Party

My nephew Kavin (brother's son) celebrated his 1st birthday on Oct 26th wonderfully in the Food Village (a beach restaurant come party space) in ECR, Chennai. The event went well, and the guests highly appreciated our arrangements for the birthday party. 

The event was organized by my brother independently, which is the first of its kind apart from the events related to his business. He looked for some party halls, but none were suitable, such as Food Village, which has an open lawn adjoining a closed hall to avoid a sloppy mess in the event of rain. Thankfully, nature does not shower us with rain until the next morning, which is uncommon because most of the events after my brother's marriage, which took place during a raging cyclone, had rain.  

We arrived at the venue an hour before the event began, and the nephew had a brief pre-birthday photoshoot on the lawn; I had some time to roam about the set up and take shots. A buffet dinner has set up on the lawn, and round tables were placed in the center to sit and eat, with a nice pavement to walk around. I liked the light and balloon decoration in the theme of blue; to match it, the nephew, brother, and sister-in-law also wore blue attire.

The birthday party was delayed by an hour from our original time of 6 pm, because of the late arrival of guests. The time we returned home became late at night. But this was not a problem. Everyone seemed to have a good time at the party, and some unexpected guests made it memorable. Just for the words of the invitation, a neighbor who had just arrived from Dubai the night before came over to say hello with his family. 

With close friends and family gathered around the stage, Kavin cut a cake, which was likewise a blue cream cake; he relished tasting the cake (but it was the cream) pieces fed by others. They used a firework candle on the cake instead of a traditional candle. As a result, there was no candle-blowing moment because blowing a firework is not easy unless it burns to empty. 

The only thing I didn't like about the event was the loud DJ music. While I don't deny that music is a party staple, the louder they play it, the more it leaves me in a blank where friends and family wondering about me can only shake their heads because I couldn't hear what they were saying and my words went unheard by them.  Even "happy birthday" and clapping sounds disappeared into the DJ.

We are glad Kavin wasn't grumpy during the party. Generally, he would whimper and cry his way through the crowd, refusing to go to anyone new. Most of the party attendees were new to him, yet he managed somehow without going to anyone! Lol. The guests showered him with presents and blessings. 

Food Village is entirely wheelchair friendly, with the restaurant in front overlooking the ECR and a party lawn in the back with a separate entrance from the sidestreet, which leads to the well-known Sai Baba temple. I had wanted to go to the restaurant for lunch or dinner for a long time, and it had finally come true owing to Kavin's birthday. 

These days, birthday parties are conducted mainly for Biriyani, and Kavin's birthday wasn't an exception.  There was Mutton Biriyani, Chicken 65, Parotta, Chicken gravy, and Veg-Biryani, for vegetarians. 

The food was much better and tastier than we expected from what we heard. I want to try the restaurant again for the biriyani because I couldn't get enough that day owing to the late hour. I generally avoid biriyanis at night because I'm concerned they'll be tough to digest, but I've had no problems so far and still want to avoid them at night.  

We hired a photographer and videographer to cover the birthday celebration, and I believe there is still a post-birthday photoshoot to be performed before the Pendrive arrives. After some thought, I stepped closer to the stage to take some photos and video of the cake-cutting ceremony; we'll have to wait a bit longer for clean pictures. 

In the end, everyone was pleased or had no flaws.   

If you have time check the video clip from the birthday