Multi-storey on ECR

While many part of the country experience (enjoys) monsoon, the Chennai remain hot and humid throughout. Though we passed the hotter summer days in May, the last two weeks have been terrific hot and the heat waves continue to last till nights keeps away the thought of coming out of home. Not only the earth, atmosphere, throat and tongues but also my mind dries up expose to high temperature (38 degree) and I also couldn't think or interested to do anything. But a sudden rain this evening has brought a brief relief and cheer to life. 

Although it continues to rain/drizzle, the environment couldn’t achieve quite refreshing and the warmth continues to survive among the ambiance esp. within our home. It was the same time last year, on June 28; a heavy thunderstorm struck the city where an 11 storey building, which was under construction, went rubble killing 61 people in Moulivakam, near Porur. A site where two 11 storeys were built, with one fell down and another, which was suppose to demolish by authorities since experts believe it’s unfit to become a residential complex and even before it was done a year has completed.

Here is a picture I shot on ECR, a road parallel to IT corridor, multi-stories are new to this part of landscape that stretches close to seashore. I find about 4 to 5 projects coming up on this road, which is emerging as a Nation Highways (NH) from the scenic beach road because of the road widening. Hope there isn’t a repetition of Moulivakam incident anywhere. 

A thing that bothers me

How life becomes tragedy in short span? Even though we aren’t affected by things directly certain feeling are impossible to avoid when come to learn about things and thoughts on post effects. We are just four months old to this compound (row house) and wasn’t familiar with the neighbors unlike the pretty old neighborhood, but we come to face them each day and sometime exchange few words as goodwill and on things related to common.  There was this particular house at the rear end of our compound (which house 3 duplex houses) and they are the only owner come resident who don’t communicate with others except the single man of the family. So we don’t know anything much about them and wasn’t in force of learning their relationships but on the assumption we know who the mother and sons are.

There are four little kids in the house but there seems to be no evidence for that unless they all come out and only less than a week before I come to see or know there are four kids rather being two – whom I see every day while going to or from school or cycling in the evening! The two girls, one in 4^th STD and the other in UKG are very quiet and handsome and while passing our house, the little one, make certain not to make any noise that invite our pet dog from barking. The other two kids are twins (a boy and a girl) in age about 2 seem very smarter and adorable when they come around in their tiny cycle and baby walker to incorporate their sisters on their cycle. So far (forever) I had seen only one elder mother and two men in age of 40+, who suppose to be her sons, and the kids belong to them.

Belong to Muslim community it’s obvious for them to prevent practicing with others but still the elderly mother smile and inquire when come to face and the only person who communicate well with others (in their family)  was her elder son. He’s someone sounded very responsible and protective and cooperative. For example he’s the only one in the compound who used to close the gate every time passing in and out of home; apart us whose house being first make sure the gate was closed always to prevent unwanted entering. The other one who is a father of 4 kids seems so affectionate and whenever he turn back home in his bike, the kids surround him and he take them for a round in his bike with easiness however stressful he perhaps come home. But it was sorrowful and heart-wrenching to know the scene will never reappear from the late Monday night! Not that the family had relocated (like they planned to sell their lost house in near future) but lost the vitality that what I could say about.

The family has lost three invaluable lives – the elderly mother and her two sons (which include the father of 4 little kids) to a car accident. It was such terrific and shocking news for all our neighbors. Like I said above we aren’t familiar with them and wasn’t acquaint about their family but being humanitarian it is not easy to console such fatal ending happen to people we see daily. I was watching the kids cycling inside the premises happily just 2 hours before the news arrive, and though we felt very sorry for the demise of the elderly mother and two siblings – who are the only adults of the family apart the kids mother, whom I have seen never before as she don’t head out of their home, our heart goes for the little kids whom perhaps could not understand what happened to their father, uncle and grandma. We truly regret for the future of these kids who destined to grow without their beloved father and the wife without husband.

The mother and her sons were returning after attending a family function in Ramnad and the car drove by one of her sons was crashed with the road block and all died at the spot. The kids and the mother were at the home, accompanied by their uncle (maternal) at that time of incident didn’t conveyed the message to them rather doing it with us, he took them all to their home town without saying anything as he doesn’t know what to do all alone. We was helpless when such a tragedy struck our neighbor, as we don’t know anything about them and how they perhaps react if approached drop us into mourning silent. We haven’t get any message from them so far, since they are the only family with all relative afar we have no idea what’s happening at their end and will they turn back to take charge of the house is a question unanswered. Without the kids the compound seems so empty, although they aren’t noisy kids their presence felt good. I don’t know how to relate this incident but couldn’t stop writing about it which bothered me much. 

Insists

Change is a thing obviously everyone needed and hence to beat boredom or to be frustrated, a change in environment or activity is must at least. For a Chennaitie or whoever lives in a coastal town/city, the first thing comes to mind of escaping could be the beaches, if there isn’t malls, restaurants and events happening around. A place just to relax, breathe in fresh air or sit ideal watching the waves and things happening around, in random, is an entertainment unplanned.

Last week I went to Elliot’s Beach and in the usual way spent something sitting inside the car parked in front of the promenade.  Though it’s good to see new faces and people from various walks, there are certain things keep disturbing. The average fee collected for cars to park at Elliot’s beach is 5 ₹ and 10 ₹ for vans, but what they insist was 20 ₹, that too without producing a ticket. My dad, who is a regular walker at Elliot’s beach, had come across the board, that mention the exact ticket price which is only five, many times, but what they insist is against the regulation of corporation.

The other day when we parked the car, the person in charge demanded 10 ₹ by placing a ticket valued for just 5 ₹... No matter where the partial amount goes, but how dare they bring it into force without any hesitance or thing to prove their price is fair. I think the amount they collect differs from person to person, and anyone dare to deceive could easily implement their task. Among them I find few genuine people like the one who (understanding - with the number plate - that we are from the local) gave us excuse from paying even the fair amount.

If the parking system was like this, the mobile vendors who do business along the promenade have touched the worst state of ever. Already the beauty of Elliot’s beach has lost its charm to the occupation of number of shops/eateries spread all over the sandy beach. Though I am not dared to explore the eateries to put my health at risk, I always go with the bordering items like peas and peanuts. But this time I was quite surprise to note when I bough peanuts (plain nuts), it was very less than usual and priced doubled i.e. from 10 to 20 ₹. But what really bothered me much was what I heard from my dad who came back the vendor...

He has been insisting 150 ₹ from a foreigner to get slices of spicy mango! ...expressed provoke and anger. Even a whole mango doesn’t cost more than 10 ₹ and however rich in class they doesn’t going to extend more than 50 ₹, but in which way a few slices spread with spice become special for him to insist such amount. Whoever let it be, fairness is oneness and just being fair and came  far away from isn’t we have to be cruel or scare them to never turn back. Let us be smart and generous to consumers whichever country and skin tone they bore.

I don’t understand why there’s so price difference between local/national resident and international visitors. Not only tourist places, but I guess at every level/layer foreigners have to pay more than the amount Indian pays. Let’s keep away the economic boon perhaps involved it in, but what comes with food and restaurants? Why do we need to make big holes in their pockets just because they are foreigners? Food is an essential of life and there shouldn’t be partiality/discrimination at least with the price tag at eateries. I don’t know does it happen with every other country in the world or we Indians alone insist this pattern. But I wish we become a moral example to be fair enough at least with eateries. When we say globalization, I wonder why there’s still differentiation. 

Memories of Tsunami

Ten years has passed since tsunami struck the coastlines of Indian Ocean, following the powerful earthquake with an epicenter off the west coast of Sumatra in Indonesia; the memories of tsunami are obvious like picking up shells from the seashore. Though I haven’t affected by the deadly waves directly, I was deeply disturbed and mentally suffered followed by the development of the devastation and scattered reports on mourns to death. There were even rumors (on the advancement of sea) to leave us into panic and living not far from the seashore, it’s impossible to avoid the uncertainty prevailed.

Memorial Icon of Tsunami in Kanyakumari

Being Sunday, we were asleep than usual and on hearing words something referred to tremor I couldn't continue lying on bed and come out to know what as my uncle asked me that I felt anything. There was an earthquake! But the tremor being so mild only those who were awake and living at certain elevation have felt the tremble and by the time I look at the street everyone where back to their places who came out in panic.  During the disaster we were staying in the first floor of our native house in Adyar, Chennai, hearing the news of tremor triggered panic even before the tsunami strike the coast or sorrow choke the throat.

My first encounter with a tremor/earthquake was in October 2001. Until then I have just heard of earthquake and know how it used to be only after seeing the Gujarat incident that happened on the same year. My expression and experience to tremor was funnier, perhaps not knowing how to react to such feeling/fear I scared so much and throw away the board on which I was painting something while sitting on the sofa. Since I was in caliper I could get out like others who rushed down as soon they felt the tremble, my mom and uncle hurried up unbuckle my shoes to lift me down. In few minutes all of us where on the street shoulder with neighbours.

My deals with tsunami were happen almost in front of the television, only my uncle was dare to go check with the Elliot Beach following the stroke with tsunami. I was staring at the television with awe, while the second longest beach in the world (Marina) enveloped in war of waves. The cars that have always seen running on roads where floated like boats in sea, with boats representing the parking lot. It was heartbreaking to see bodies being dragged to shore and people running towards the road to save their lives to avoid hitting the wall of sea.  The news channels where updated from time to time with the breakup of nature’s terror videos from across the southern countries.

Living close to coastline, I am sure each one of them would have a story to convey on their own related to tsunami whether they affected or not. During this course of tsunami, rumours were also spread to frighten us with the advance of sea levels into the landscape. I couldn’t sleep well for more than a week in panic, spending number of nights in uncertain thinking about the disaster and the visually seen in televisions/internet occupied the mind involuntarily. To relieve ourselves from the nightmare of tsunami and earthquake, we all spent the night of same in the single hall along with my uncle’s family to make not panic.

In the last 10 years I have covered 2/3 of the coastline of Tamil Nadu from Pulicat to Kanyakumari, we heard many stories related to tsunami during our journeys. While I visited Kanyakumari it was impossible to keep away the thought of tsunami and the videos and images were recollected when I sit watch the waves crashing the rocks. I felt unrest at each big wave arrive in force and the tourist boats making leap across them. Even it was fun checking some youngsters enjoy the strong waves and water splashes, something uncertain keep occupied. I also come across Manakudy, one of the worst affected villages in Kanyakumari where a bridge was washed away into the sea enclosed with number of death in the district.

The mindset was very similar even when I visited Velankanni, Cuddalore, Karaikal and Kodiyakarai along many other places aside east coast road (ECR), there are many villages in Tamil Nadu where one can find the traces of tsunami still exists reminding the one of the deadly disaster of our history. Many memories trigger while writing this post and experience with places that well relevant to the tsunami, but I couldn’t bring all of them here. I truly wish these incidents never repeat. 

Update Life

Following the left eye in 2012, my father underwent a cataract surgery for the right yesterday. When he was done with the left, there wasn't a need to go for right soon since cataract showed very less growth then. The Dr. has advised to go for surgery when the cataract showed 50 percent growth last year, but being caught up with other problems related to health postponed the surgery thinking how to handle life without one another as I was in need of two people i.e. my parents. At this same time last year I was into the cast post fracture above my knee and for more than 2-3 months I was depended on three people to do the natural task as human.

Early before my fracture, my father caught with one on his ankle following his bike fell down at the knock of a car. Being a diabetic patient it took more than 3 months for his wounds to heal and only later we were able to do something for his hair crack which was almost healed on its own lying beneath the wound. Shifting houses has been a task we went through last two years has kept away the thought and care for the cataract. Though he has been going through eye sight problem with one enough clear vision and other getting blur, he kept postponing the surgery thinking who will assist me or replaces him for at least a month to quite recover.

Everyone knows it’s a minor surgery and doesn't last more than 10 minutes and he was back at home in 4 hours. But things don’t end there right? Regular apply to eye drops matters much important and being away from light vital more along with complete rest and control in sugar to sustain quick recovery. Similar to the phase during his bike accident, I come into the control of my mom again but residing close to my native house our uncle’s family (dad’s bro) was helping us in many ways. Do you remember or not, the house we are staying now isn't what we were looking for but to put an end to house hunt then (March) we decided to move here to transfer later slowly.

Though we aren't in hurry now, we have a thought in mind of another house since we experience water problem here and to feed our thought, the house owner has kindly requested us to be prepare to shift house as he had approached for a plan to built a brand new home by demolishing the present one, which is 40+ years old. And also staying opposite to a school makes feel anxious and I really lose my peace during the school time. We have our own houses in the same and neighborhood areas but they aren't convenient for me. We have our home in ground floor only at the apartment and we shifted from their mainly due to short in space and my native house has homes in upstairs since uncle’s workshop occupies the ground space.

In-between I have requested a friend in US (who’s on onsite) to acquire a person hoist (a transfer device which lift a person to move their position), to help my parents to make easy my shifting. As you all know that I have lost the ability to stand post fracture. Initially the transfer between wheelchair and car only bothered me much as I don’t find great difficult with life at home as I used to it daily, but I don’t think that life sustain at this phase forever and I need to think about future with aging parents, a device like hoist will aid them reduce physical stress. He has inquired with PTA/Take-AlongLifts and looking forward to their quotation and shipping method. Hope things goes well... 

An unforgettable phase, I wish to forget

A year completes since I got fracture in my femur, I couldn’t forget the day (17/10/2013) though I wish not to remember the day that was horror. It was also a day that I fell and still unable to stand. I ever thought I would get fracture as I’m out of even normal activity, it taught me a lesson that anything could happen to anybody and I almost come to the term to accept what comes my way. But the only thing that put me into fear was the uncertain nature of a disease or disorder. I had been bedridden for nearly 2 months and the only difficult I experienced physically was way to toilet. Even though I used commode wheelchair, transferring between the bed and chair was painful until the fracture began to mend somewhat.  I went to extreme boredom during that phase as I did anything apart watching television and listen to music, mind was quite contrary thinking whether I will recover or not. Even I got immense time for book reading, but I couldn’t concentrate on anything and most of all wasn’t comfort to do things at lying position.

Prone to muscular dystrophy I had reason to worry, since it is a case of losing muscle strength there seems less chances of recovery. Even the doctor who treated me had doubt whether the bone will mend? But glad there was positive result within 10 days on cast and at the end of 46 days the bone had healed well. But the real torture or pain began only after out of cast, when I tried to bend the knee that went stiff being on cast. It took more than 3 months to reach certain degree and to feel less pain, I am still unable to bend the knee 100%. I don’t believe it will bend anymore but I am content with how well it has come now.  The fracture doesn’t stop here but it also dragged me further into my future where I lose the ability to stand someday. It wouldn’t be a matter of lose or bothered me much if it happened on the usual slow pace, but it’s hard to accept when the ability fall prey in short span.

I could see a great difference with my life before and post fracture, because my dependency has rose from single-handedly to double, now, and during my days on cast and until I feel painless on knee I was supported by three people on transfer to change of clothes. I know my future isn’t going to be same rather it would turn more difficult, but I never thought about it seriously and my intention seems to concentrate only on near future and present moment.  I have a vision which is to reach as much possible expanding my world and experience live moments with different environment and sharing with people. The fracture has also caused a greater setback on my travelling front and due to lose of standing ability getting in and out of car has become difficult. I am passionate about travelling and exploring places are one of my core intentions of life, and (also like to go off-roading (mild)) makes me believe that real experience comes out of comfort. Hope all is well and I am back with my comfort travelling soon. 

Just happenings

The month of October haven’t begun comfort with me as I caught up with severe cold and cough, which make feel most irritating. I woke up with sore throat on Oct 1 and it indicated me the symptom of cold or flu which usually begins like that for me. I know flu is a common cause among human but the phase doesn’t seems to be nice and passing it was tough esp. with weak respiratory system. The resistance power seems to be very less with muscular dystrophy associates, so the influence of flu easily picks up and become obstinate to cool down. I couldn’t be systematic as I planned the week and wasn’t able to do things rather let anything happen on own. Glad the flu influenced while it was festival time here and I relaxed watching new movies one after another on television despite having trouble with…

Our pet dog Maya is also quite back to normal and her surgical wound was healed to let restore her enthusiasm.  It was really difficult to keep her away from licking or biting the wound, but glad despite denied applying medicine she recovered well. For more than a week she didn’t come out of her favorite hideout (beneath the bureau) and only made quick in and out for bathroom. After every haircut her movements used to be very active and become so hungry to finishing off anything quickly. She perhaps gone though very painful time due to surgery, for her to can’t even stand for a moment and it made us worry but she also makes smile with her every step in forward toward her healing. Now we are happy that we put her into a peaceful journey and trouble free health.  

My parents had bought a second hand Suzuki Swift car to make my travel easier, since I had trouble climbing into our SUV. The car came with low budget and good in condition don’t want me to miss it, and swift is one of my favorite cars and ride quality is so good and I had couple of travel on ECR before decided on purchase. We have upgraded the tires of the car to big size to add more comfort on any kind of road. I still have to modify the car with turnout seat, while looking for transferring hoist to import from abroad to make further easer and I am also suppose to change or alter my wheelchair to suit for the car and more comfort on sitting. Later I’m experiencing back pain due to long duration sitting on the wheelchair or improper sleeping position… looking forward to a change. 

Meet my grandfather!

My grandfather (maternal) visited me yesterday on the sideline of my late great grandmother’s annual ceremony. I haven’t seen him for a very long time, as he wasn’t well to move out of his house or climbing down from his upstairs home. I was truly surprised when my grandma brings him home along with her. Since he was suffering from certain health setbacks in recent past, I didn’t expect him to visit me and for me it is hardly possible to meet him at his home in first floor and coming across their congested street in wheelchair is something quite awkward to image. Since it is hard to take a car inside their street and also post fracture last year, I am going through difficult times transferring between car and wheelchair.

My grandfather and grandmother (shot at Kodaikanal in 2012)

I feel so happy meeting him and I really moved looking into his eyes that was yearning to see me… His affection and care for me is something very special and is always evident through his eyes. Though he won’t speak much and couldn’t make gestures easily, I understand him quite well and I can’t explain how much I love him and he means to me. He is our best well-wisher and what and where we are today is only because of his chief intention along with his son’s (my late uncle) hard work, and selfless being provided us so many advantages in life. Until he closed his teashop at early 20s, he has been a hard worker and active being.  For more than two decades he had been a cabs car and lorry driver, before started fulltime dairy business and opens the teashop.

My uncle’s demise in late 2001 had hit him immensely and shutting down the teashop, left him jobless at home resulted in greater drawback at health followed by a cardiac arrest due to clot in heart.  But in latter days he suffers from diabetic and nervous problem and the side effects of tablets forced him to quite depend on others. He could walk only at very slow pace and someone need to lift him from the chair to stand and being little obese it has been very difficult for my grandmother to take care of him. We ever expected him to become infirmity at this early age of 75, while older than him are progressing well. I am one of his main concerns to make him feel regret, and he had expressed his sorrow many time with granny for unable to help me in anyways.

In 2001 he used to drive me every day to a clinic in T.Nagar here, where I took Ayurveda treatment for nearly two months. Driving through the heavy morning traffic is a true venture in his way of driving, though he manages only because of the eagerness to see me as a normal being. While studying in school, he used to pick me in his bicycle if I received none.  Putting the bags on the handlebar, he pedals me to home placing me on the rear carrier, since my school was very close to their house. He had scolded me and also embraced at same, as he always had special attention towards me.

I think it is our turn to take care of him, not only because he had worn-out his life for our self but true love he has shown for others and as children/grandchildren it’s our duty to support not only physically but also make him feel happy and content. At my stand I am conscious not to disturb him anyways, but I feel sorry that indirectly I’m one of the main concerns on his drawback stream. Emotionally he has been disturbed by others, forgetting whatever he had done for them and just for the brief of ego and updating their fake statues - though they deserved to be so – makes him feel anguish. Until 2012 he had traveled with me for many places, as I love doing it so, I am helpless now leaving him at home as he finds it very difficult to travel and getting in and out of the car, and in case of urgency he prefers Auto (rickshaw) to pick and drop him at doorstep.  

Trouble with transfer and hot weather

Perhaps you all know I am not a kind of A/C person, but these days I really went against this attitude since nature doesn’t show me favor on weather. Ever like before I am taking shelter into our AC room and coming out only in evening.  The weather is extraordinarily hot in Chennai and the sea breeze sets in very lately, make sure house exit in evening to breathe fresh air. The water is naturally boiled and hot water is used for entire purpose without electric charge or gas usage. What a natural phenomenal! Lol 

Last year the vacation for schools was extended by government due to hot weather, but I felt only hotter this year where schools opened as early as 2^nd June. Glad at least the 11^th standard students enjoyed holiday till Monday and there is a reason for me to be happy since one of my dear cousins is entering 11^th, I got enough time to spend with him.  He was a great company for me these days and aided me in getting small works done and we also enjoyed playing cards, dice and going out in evening and night and moreover had a vacation together in hill-stations.

We were going through some difficult phase these days, shifting me from either wheelchair to car or car to wheelchair.  Since we own SUV, my father couldn’t put me into the SUV unlike post fracture in my femur and the lack of ability to stand now make it troublesome; and only my brother could carry me in and out of the SUV. But we couldn’t always depend on him to travel, so we were looking for alternate ways to make shifting. We approached few mobility aids manufactures in Chennai to help with transferring devices, but each have different ideas which has nothing to do with our SUV.

Actually I don’t have a mind to give away my favorite car (Mahindra Scorpio) which takes me anywhere I want and I also couldn’t find a comfort seating like Scorpio in which I could take long drives without trouble. I was anticipated to fit with a Turny swivel seat for the transfer, but when enquired with a company in CBE, it seems to cost more than buying a car. Later I find the ‘person hoist’ which I though could be lesser in amount… but it is only available in foreign and there isn’t sure about the parts getting here if it went wrong.

To breathe little, one of the mobility aids manufacturer has assured to do something without exchanging my favorite car and he is already in progress with a wheelchair seat transfer into the car and he has asked to check with the device next week when it completes. In-between we test drive the Maruti Ertiga (a neighbor’s car) which I think could be the last solution if nothing works above. You may ask why Ertiga? Because it is the only MPV that resemble a car in every aspect and also no need climbing in and out of the car. It is a 7 seater which could reduce to 5 if wheelchair is placed on the boot. It has lot of features and option for a family car… a small seat turner could make seat into the car.

The thing compact is something always get me into it and no matter what, I like things that are compact and neat. The power wheelchair I use is very compact that nowhere in production now.  Just like that Ertiga is a compact MPV that attract me lot! Back to weather condition, the hot atmosphere has put me always tiresome which could be one of the reasons for the lesser post in my blog. It also prevent me from eating well and waking up early in morning (usually never less than 8.am), and having throat trouble due to over dryness at night. Wish there was showing! 

Threatening moments

I wake up to mom calling ‘maya maya’ in unusual hurry tone, from which I aware that our pet dog is creating some trouble outside and she also calling my brother to come out immediately. I only thought then that our pet might run out of the gate and some stray dogs chasing her or she may run chasing them, which is the situation many a time with her in case of unchained when outside the home. But things were different this time and she was running within our house compound walls chasing a cobra that came into ours. We have no idea where the cobra came from, but the garbage collectors were said to see the snake entering our house from the roadside.

Encountering snakes aren’t new for us, as we have seen snakes in our early apartment area and the people resides here have also seen snakes many a time around. The open ground behind our house with number of trees and a broken workshop, could be nothing that a better hideout for snakes and only a 7 feet wall protects anything enter our compound. The heavy rain and wind lasted few days back, broke our water pipe from the over tank and only a day latter it was fixed by plumber, mom when to check if it was ok this morning, was followed by our pet who found the snake got chased. She was trying to bite the snake tail while pursing around, for which it protests by hissing and few strike attempts before tough climbing the wall  and crawled though a Neem tree to a safe high.

It was exciting and adventure for us this morning and the story still spreads from one another, Maya becomes heroin by her daring act against the snake. Lol!  There’s another terrific story to share with u here, was as never like before, a lightening stroke very close to our house on Wednesday evening results in killing our LED TV. There was heavy thunderstorm in our area that evening, but a lightening came very first without warning had a loud blast and threaten to cease heart beats… which was the situation lasted for half an hour. Our pet also exposed to frustration for the loud cracks and it was like thousand fluorescent lamp blink at a time, and along with it the transformer also celebrated a pre-Diwali producing sparkles.

We once again tuned to our free television set, provided by government, until the Led TV is back after its major transformation of motherboard. It was a situation similar to 2009, when our CRT TV shutdown, we went on watching programs on govt.’s free color television for a year before bought the LED… it was too exactly on the season of Navarathiri. Even we used set top box for cable television, the lightening took the life of our led TV and there were number of TV sets in our area lose to the lightening. We are always cautious and switch off television and unplug wires when there was thunderstorms, but it fall quite unexpectedly and it is our fault indeed.

         Not to forget, the cyclone Phailin is on its way ready to sweep the coastal Andhra Pradesh and Odisha in hours… let all hope and wishes there wasn’t much damage to our neighboring states. The cyclone is expected to be very strong storm, where experts guessing the wind could touch 240 km per hour when it landfall between Odisha and AP… the tides could rise up to 3.5 meters and rush 600 ms in land. 

Smile

Smiley ball from Jeevan

Smile is something everyone bears, which enhances our face more bright and beautiful. Smile is a foremost aspect, break the silence between strangers and a friendly conversation begins at the wake of smile.  Fake or real, no one could identify with smile so easily and if we began to research we will lose a precious aspect doubting each and every smile. But it’s obvious when someone smiles they embrace the environment. Smiles have a healing power, even on desperate I believe a smile could cheer up for a moment or while in longstanding distress.

Smile is a wonderful thing helps managing, when we doesn't have an answer to query or hide something that we don’t like showing off in face. I have been going though something close to the second one and smile is my only tool today, I try to sweep away the raw feeling of hurt and gushing emotions. Smile is something living without is difficult esp. to survive with utmost hardship, smile is a vital element.  I would like to see people smiling however despite life, because the bits and pieces of smile are hope for tomorrow. J

Turned 28

July 31^st I turned 28! Yes, it was my birthday and I wasn't feeling at all and thought to think about that day.  Though it usually used to be another day in my life, rather sometime celebrate it plainly cutting off a cake once cousins gather at home. Nowadays I don’t find any reason to celebrate birthday rather it just mark my date of birth, this special day doesn't make anything special or become a turning point in my life, instead, keep in touch with others via birthday wishes. As you all know, for less than a month now after dad fell off his bike, life has been tough and troublesome (even it is a part of our everyday life) it turns worse in latter days. Like a lady worrier, mom battles everyday stretching her to the edge of exhaust to preserve our life not get worse.

Though it may bore hearing on it again and again but the toughness continues to battle on us and passing each day has been an experience of age. Mind continues to concern on things how to reduce or prevent even a particle adding to the turban of the lady worrier. J I couldn't come out thinking about my birthday and usually I don’t give much important to my birthday and don’t care people remind it or not (but I thank those remember this day to call me). I too know when my dear ones birthday falls, but I used to forget quite until someone reminds me on that day. I too wish for those well being always and I don’t mind forgetting to wish them on their birthday. Dad’s health is responding well after continues on medicine and injections, and once the wound is healed he will be ready for tie up on his ankle crack.

Life continue to sail on single oar

Though you know life has been tough at my side since dad skid off bike, it continues to row with single oar called mom. The intense of struggle doesn't seem to lack anyway and only grown too much but sails on certain path with hope to see light at the end of land. Nearly fifteen days after the bike skid, we discovered a hairline fracture at dad’s ankle which an x-ray couldn't find initially and such fractures are visible only though the MRI scans. Dad also bears wound at the ankle, so we can’t go for any treatment or bandage for the fracture immediately and being a diabetic patient it perhaps take long time for healing. Both the wound and fracture needs equal attention, but now the concern is given quite to the quick recovery of wound… because a leg injury is the worst threaten for diabetic patients and leaving it carelessly will lose the foot.

He’s advised to take complete rest for more than a month or six weeks for the hairline to disappear but it seems to take some more weeks to relive fully even after he feel good. So until then life going to be tough and I couldn't guess anything right now but I know nothing is easy even beyond certain limit. Mom going through really difficult phase and hardship, a single woman handles almost everything with no help from any other. Everyone regret certainly about our situation and could understand somehow what a difficult it would be but no mind to lean help, and ones who have mind couldn't support because of their inability.  I was quite moved when my grandfather felt he couldn't help us in anyway who truly depend on grandma, because of his age related disorders. I could only hope even I lose it immense times. Thanks for all your best regards and wishes on my latter post!

Single-handedly

For less than a week now, the fight has been intense on base level transforming into different shapes and size with one lack of hand, work has been intensified due to overload and density. A bike skid has just jammed not only the ankle of father but disturbed the balance of my life cycle at basic level. Mom take things single-handedly transferring me at various stages from tough to toughest and rough to roughest, helping hand at everyday business with life and daily achievement of nothing but yet living the moment to fullest. There is a long gap between twenty seven and forty eight, but irrespective of age and energy she makes certain that my days are comfort and I know it is a passing moment and life would be better once dad’s ankle was healed. I don’t know what I should or suppose to expect or express now, but I feel like fought unlike ever forcing someone to the edge of stress. 

The pain, anxious, struggle and trouble are there at everyday life, but a simple smile and small happiness uplift to various high like a chugging mountain train, the motion of life enhance by burned tiny charcoals of chuckle and smile. It was a state of nonetheless, nevertheless and despite, no matter what, whether, anything or everything life has been forward march toward the end of the day hoping for a better tomorrow. There’s no dream about future, only certain phases communicate the distance.

Master checkup - an ever undergone trouble!

I took a master health checkup two days back in a clinic close to our house and suppose to find out that almost everything is normal except slightly increase in blood sugar and indication of BP (blood pressure) in ECG. Though the results are not unfavorable, I had tough time going through one of the test (abdominal ultrasonography) to which I was instructed to drink plenty of water until my tank get full. It wasn’t difficult actually to drink more water, but to control without passing urine until the test complete was quite a struggle and terrible task.

I drank about 1.5 liters of water an hour before we are suppose to be there and as soon we enter the clinic, the bladder began to urge for a release but there was no symptom of call for the test. We waited for half an hour; the receptionist doesn’t have an answer whereas only saying doctor will come soon… wait for five minutes. There were two more five minutes gone and the doctor hadn’t arrived. I was going through severe trouble in bladder or abdomen and don’t want to take the risk of mess up with pants. It was a moment I couldn’t think of anything, lying on the bed next to the scan instrument, the attendant asked to think about what I like more (to divert the  pissing thought)… I could only say the hell!

It was I who want to take the master checkup to confirm everything is fine on basic terms of health (dealing with MD is a different matter), it’s been a year and a half I took a similar one, which confess the diabetes and I know someone who is in sitting position always could invite side effects and with the aid of diabetes anything is possible. I am trying my best in controlling sugar (don’t believe him, he ate half a cup of palkova - a sweet made of milk and sugar - two days early to test) and was regular with medicine and physiotherapy seems to cause an effect only to sustain.  

The abdomen scan doesn’t last more than five minutes but I was going through immense pressure enduring urine and I was only back to normal with everlasting pissing. Sigh! Later I went taking chest X-ray and ECG and following a meeting with doctor and physical exam, I was advised on certain terms to follow and regular check with BP as he find it abnormal. I could only think it is because of intense pressure I went through the abdomen scan had resulted in blood pressure and a mild symptom in ECG. I know it was worth going through the trouble but I don’t know whom to blame - the doctor who came late or I drink water early - anyhow there wasn’t any problem gracefully. J

மன வலி / Mental Pain

"செல்லாக்காசை பிச்சை  போட்டு என்ன பயன்?"

ஒரு வரி 

என்  ஆயிரம் கேள்விகளின்  பிரதிபளி 

வெளியே சொல்ல முடியாத வலி.

தெளிந்த நீரோடை
ஓர் கல் விழுந்து கலங்கியது போல் 

என் கனவுகள் 

ஒரு சொல்லில் கலைந்தது.

கண்கள்
கண்ணீர் சிந்தி சிவந்தது
காவிரியை போல் 

தண்ணிர் இன்றி வரண்டது.

மழை, வெயில்
மகிழ்ச்சியோடு தொடர்புடையது  

அதிகபடியான எதுவும் வேதனையே
வலி, மனவலிமை பொருத்தது. 

Non-Tamil readers, check the translation below… but I inquire myself does it convey quite.

“What benefits a beggar
by dropping invalid cash? “
A phase
reflects thousand questions
of my unspoken pain.

Like how a clear stream
shaken to a fall of stone
my dreams
shattered by a single word.

The Eyes
turned red to spill of tears
without water
it drought like Cauvery (river).

Rain or sunshine
associated with pleasure;
excess of anything is pain
plainly depends on mental vigor. 

Depressed yet impressed

Image courtesy: flickr

வலியை தாங்கிடு மனிதா 

வாழ்கையில் இதுவும் ஒரு படி புரிதா?

கல்லும் மண்ணும் காலுக்கு புதிதல்ல
பாதையை நடந்து கடத்திடு மனிதா.

ரத்தம் உறைய உறைய குளிரும் 

அட்டை வலியில்லாமல்  உறியும் 

அச்சம்  என்றும் நிறைந்த உள்ளம் 

மௌன புன்னகைக்குள் மறையும்.

Bear the pain man
understand this is also a step in life?
Stones and sands aren't new to foot
man, walk past the path.

Cold freeze freezing blood
leech sucks without pain,
fear filled mind always
hide inside silent smile.

P.S.

These phrases come to mind by 3 am, while I deeply distressed. But I don’t want to reveal what caused me so depressed at that mid night time. I had touched emotional core many a time during night, only the darkness could witness the silent war. 

Man behind this Blog - MD

If you are new to my blog or couldn't check my profile, I need to mention that I’m fighting with MD (Muscular Dystrophy), which is a genetic disorder of losing muscles strength and I move everywhere on my power wheelchair. There isn't any cure for it currently globally and perhaps the only way of approach to it was to exercise constantly to delay the course of loss of muscles strength. There’s also a disadvantage lies in this progress of exercise which should not last for long duration; if the exercise had been stressful or painful  will also witness in loss of muscles strength. Physiotherapy has become a part of my life from the early stage of development with MD; I was going through therapy off and on and perhaps stopped for a year or so meanwhile taking medicines on various mode of treatment.

 I was suppose to write on this only because, I want to say that I was taking physiotherapy for the last three year had been constant unlike ever before, and my therapist Rajesh is visiting me thrice a week on a content fee. I could recollect the day he first gave me exercise and it was extremely a painful moment since he hadn't handled a MD patient before and unfamiliar with my body. But things weren't same, as he kept visiting me frequently, he understood me physically and how much I could endure pain lead me quite comfort with exercise.

MD is a common word used to describe the disorder, and DMD (Duchene Muscular Dystrophy) is the general appearance in most of the patents, but there are several types of MD founded later years. Gladly I hadn't come under the general category (even I feel quite regret for those affected with DMD, whose life span is not more than 25 years) I enjoy the extremely rare exception with LGMD (Limb-Girdle MuscularDystrophy), is an autosomal class of MD which is similar but distinct from DMD and Becker. LGMD encompasses a large number of rare disorders with the term ‘Limb-Girdle’ is referred to the muscles on hips and shoulders which most severely affected in general.

I don’t want to go much in detail about the disorder, as well the distressed or frustrated moments that haunt me immensely then and now, but with better consciousness and knowledge about the disorder I come to show somewhat normal mindset in latter days. I don’t think much about the disorder, but anytime I feel hurt I dislike myself being born as burden or frustrated. But the regret feeling doesn’t used to live long or I change my thought by concentration on other things or drown into dreams. I need to say I haven’t seen a therapist being so kind like Rajesh and I never seen him in tense or harsh during exercise (it’s a different story at beginning while he wasn't well aware about the disorder) I doubt whether he knows at least how to act severely. Hehe… Hope he better stay that way for me to continue happily the exercise.  

I think it’s time to go to bed now… time 10.13 pm. Thanks for all your support and encouragement on behalf fight with my MD! :)

Common become uncommon

Only if we miss something the wanting becomes more… and it’s obvious in case of house sparrows. We lost the species almost in towns and cities and the reasons may vary from increased radiation in air to cut down of trees and shortage of grains. House sparrow is a species that survive along with human habitation lost tack while our lifestyle changes.

Today we see the sparrows only far away from cities (that too has become a rare sight) where the changes in architecture and communication laid back or less treated. There were times during childhood I tried to catch the sparrows that often visit our balconies and sometimes they built their hay nest among the sewage pipes and pillars. It was also a lovely scene to see those small sparrows perching the cable wires across the lane in a line and piercing the grains left over the balcony.

Even in late 90s, sparrows were spread across the cities and it was in very short span the sparrows went invisible almost. There are only brief memories perching upon the sparrows and their sweet chirrups were lost echo from ears, but meanwhile the mynas and cuckoo brought comfort around our homes. Sparrows usually pick their nesting places inside or at the entrance of homes, storehouse and elsewhere human reside. In villages, folks tie a bunch of paddies at their house entrance to treat the little birds with grain and help building their nests.

I can’t remember when I last saw a sparrow in our city (Chennai) but I could see them in fair numbers sometime far away from home – such as Western Ghats. Hence I couldn’t see them away from human habitation.  The pair of sparrows you see in the picture above was taken inside the Danish Fort at Tranquebar and I could find a number of house sparrows residing there, perhaps being Danish colony the colonial buildings (a combine of tiled and pillared architecture) here encourages the livelihood of sparrows to lead life at comfort.

Today being a World House Sparrow Day, the thought on sparrows intend to write on them and I feel so pity that we couldn’t provide livelihood for these small birds that share very small space in our neighborhood. I was really sad and shock to read the news in paper here today, where in Karur (a district in Tamil Nadu) number of sparrow is killed every day for meat in a TASMAC bar. Each sparrow was bought for Rs.5 and a plate of meat was sold for Rs.30.  It was totally frustrating; at time when we were looking forward how to bring back the sparrows into our neighborhood, such poaching in innumerable disturbing a lot.

Hope the govt. takes action on those poachers and I don’t know what to say when such thing happens in a government run Wine Shop. Pls stop! 

Immoral conduct

“As disciplined conduct counts for the highest values in life,

it is cherished as more precious than life itself” – Tamil Saint-Poet. Thiruvalluvar

Everyone is virtuous in this virtual world until get a chance to experiment their conduct. No one is intend to attempt rape or involve in criminal activities; it’s the chance and entice that provoke to do something wrong, which sometime touches the extreme immorality and make ruthless. In no way we could seek justice for injustice and what happens to the Delhi physiotherapist was atrocious and it couldn't be left with least punishment and the incident is also a result of aggression and potential of deathtrap. It doesn't mean women should not left out at late night, women has all the rights as men deserves and it’s not men or women, for whomever it is, walking out at adverse situation and time evokes trouble.

Moreover its men’s attitude towards women has to chance and it’s not to happen between a sunrise and set; we are losing our moral attitude towards rough and our visions are lost at the end of the day. Children or youngster are more taught how to treat with money and not with a mind, and we have come far distance from worst ill-treated women and humankind but we many men still behold the attitude in mind and it’s the failure of the parenting that forget to induce the sense from childhood. I lately realized that parenting is the toughest job in the sphere, and it doesn't end with a duty and also causes social responsibility that begins at home.

However we are loaded with laws and rules and regulations, the mind to follow is indeed behind the motion and if there isn't a restriction we (humanity) couldn't control ourselves. A drop of sugar could not transform the tea into tastier, and we need at least a teaspoon of sugar; so how each individual is responsible to create an environment so gracious and respectful. However we enjoy the freedom and brave enough, there are situations we needed to prevent or be precaution to be preserved. For e.g. we have a car and hold the license but how fair we are not up to ourselves alone, there are roads with endanger curves and rash driving by passerby cars which hold obstacles, which we should tackle  only by self observance.

Overall the hands of future generations hold their self obedient in their parenting way and morality taught at the schools. I really wish the schools emphasis on moral science more than history, business math’s, biology, chemistry… Wish the New Year begins embraces peace, harmony, respect and concern more on conduct.